"Hi there, I'm Miles Williamson and this is Jessica Mariana."
"And we're here to welcome you to the official start of the Year of the Rabbit and the beginning of Animalia's Lunar New Year Festival," said Jessica. The two of them were dressed for track and field, which meant Jessica was wearing a sports bra which many of the viewers appreciated.
"I know what many of you viewers are thinking," said Miles, "Compared to last year's tiger and next year's dragon, the rabbit doesn't seem like an impressive animal. However, rabbits have an established place in myth and folklore around the world."
"Right, rabbits are a universal symbol of speed, fertility, and luck," said Jessica. There were quite a few online comments about 'fertility'. "In many Asian cultures, people see a rabbit on the face of the moon, mixing the elixir of immortality. Or making rice cakes, depending on who you ask. And even the Aztecs and other Mesoamericans saw a rabbit on the moon, though their stories are obviously very different."
"And also, rabbits and hares (there is a difference) are depicted as tricksters in many different cultural traditions," said Miles, "The rabbit and hare are smaller animals that rely on both their wits and speed to outsmart and outpace bigger predators and that's told in countless tales. And such stories continue to this very day through popular culture, but I'm sure I don't need to tell you that."
"So, how exactly are we going to determine who will be Mister and Miss Zodiac this year?" asked Jessica.
"Well, befitting rabbits and hares, one of the main events will be a footrace," said Miles, "No tortoises involved. Just a simple run from Point A to Point B. Though the distance between the two is going to be quite long. Though the time to complete the race shouldn't be too long. After all, we're known as speedsters for a reason."
"And as folklore also portrays us as being clever, we have a special competition for that as well," said Jessica, "Our contestants will be set a series of tasks by a panel of judges. And since the rabbit often has to match wits with the fox in tales, our judges will be Robert Kenward, Steven Blair, and Juliet Renard-Argenté. The contestants don't actually have to perform the tasks, but they do have to describe how they would accomplish the tasks. They will be judged on cleverness, creativity, resourcefulness, and realism."
"Realism?" asked Miles.
"Well, how realistic their solutions would be," explained Jessica, "They can just say something like 'I point my magic wand at the problem and it disappears'. And it involves trickery, it has to be a believable trick even if the supposed opponent is really gullible."
"Hmm, that would certainly prove that we're not just dumb bunnies," said Miles, "And of course, there's the race up Zodiac Mountain at the end. And I'm sure there are a lot of rabbits and hares to eliminate before that."
"Quite a few," agreed Jessica, "A bit too many to list here, but some are certainly popular choices to win." Here, a list of names scrolled across the bottom of the screen. Jessica's own name was shown, along with Roger, Codey, the Shikamatsu family, Shyra, Hunni Bunni, and several other lapines in Animalia. "It's going to be fierce competition this year," said Jessica, "But I hope everyone puts in their best effort and may the best rabbits-"
"Or hares," added Miles.
"Win the crowns," finished Jessica.