Of course, the heist went off without a hitch.
No one noticed they were much younger and practically worshiping the polar bear that night during their after-heist celebrations. Incidentally, it involved an orgy. Even Fergus was invited and proved to be quite a cock sucker.
The next two robberies were quite easy as well.
Maisy, the shopkeeper, had tons of trail rations and adventuring gear. It was basically all the supplies they needed to go on an adventure. Not much cash, but it wasn’t that big a deal. The rations more than made up for it.
Then Charlie became Sloan, the Dragonborn adventurer.
He was a pretty hot dude, honestly. Charlie wouldn’t have been too upset to become him for real. Big muscles, nice ass, like a nice balance between his athletic muscular wolf and Geoffrey’s hulking form. Even his dick was larger, though the shape and the vent it came form were very odd. It felt weird, weirder than having his cock emerge from a sheathe.
But there was one big drawback.
Immediately, Palseks was on him, fawning over him, nuzzling against his leg. The dragonborn had to rip her off him with a prybar (yes, literally) to get her to stop. Whining, she had moved to a corner, rubbing herself when she thought the party wasn’t looking.
“What is wrong with you, Paul?” Charlie whispered when he came back from the job, dumping the adventurer’s stash on the ground of Hagerd’s hut for the others to sort through.
“Me! Love! Dragon!” Palseks cried, flinging herself at his knees again.
“No! Tsk!” Charlie warded her off. “Down! Bad kobold!”
“Ah! Me bad kobold?!” Palseks stared at Charlie with eyes filled with ineffable sadness.
“I’m a dragonborn, not a dragon.” Charlie rolled his eyes. “Come on. Would you worship a wyvern?”
Palseks puffed her chest indignantly. “Me would never!”
“...Do you want to be him?” Charlie asked after a moment.
“Me?!” Palseks looked flustered. “But -”
“What about that blue kobold? Rakser?”
“Rakser dragonborn…” Palseks’ eyes gazed into the distance. “He not love me when he dragonborn.”
“Oh?”
“Kobold too far beneath dragonborn,” Palseks said bashfully, “kobold love more simple than warmblood love, with better body he find better mate.”
“Beside, we…we need mage.” Palseks said sadly. “Not more warrior.”
That much was true. Warrior heavy parties fared well early on, but in later levels, mages quickly caught up and surpassed martials. They also needed a healer. If only they could find…
Charlie blinked.
“Palseks.”
“Yes?”
“What class are you?”
“Me bard!”
“Oh. Yeah. Yeah, that could work.” Charlie nodded to himself. “Wanna be the party healer?”
“That was plan.” Palseks sighed.
“I’m sorry that happened to you, but you really need to get over your obsession with dragons.” Charlie rolled his eyes.
“Me can’t,” Palseks sighed, “is in brain.”
“I’m sorry.” Charlie sighed. I’m done using the body. Wanna hop on?”
“Mmmm…no.” Palseks looked away. “Me embarrassed now. Girl thing.”
There was a knock on the door before Hagerd poked his head into the bedroom. “You two decent? Ailin identified the items.”
Charlie and Palseks moved into the living room.
Hagerd’s house was a cozy farmhouse-style affair. It had clearly been expanded several times, though why it was so large was beyond Charlie. If he had this much money, he’d just move. The living room had a fireplace and a few couches. On a coffee table lay the bundle of uncommon and rare magic items that had been in Sloan’s stash.
An eagle peered up at them as they walked in, adjusting his monocle. “Ah, Charles. Come, look.”
“What do we have Gregory?”
The eagle preened himself and tapped a claw on the first item. “Bag of Holding. Appears as a normal bag, but say the magic word unlocks it and voila! 1000 lbs of extradimensional storage.”
“Do we know the magic word which unlocks it?” Hagerd asked.
“The magic word was 1111.” Gregory said flatly.
“Ah. One of those.”
“Indubitably so. The next item is a Ring of Spell Storing. It was clearly not useful for him, so I understand why it’s here.”
“Surely there are spellcasters around here?” Geoffrey asked.
“No,” Hagerd said, “He’d be better off selling it at the Academy in Lankh Mhar.”
“After that we have various items that offer elemental protection, two cloaks and an amulet.”
“Very situational.” Hagerd nodded.
“This is his stash,” Charlie said as he searched the dragonborn’s memories, “he took his best gear with him to fight the hag.”
Charlie looked down at his plainly dressed, dragonborn body, “his memories get really fuzzy right before he walked into that house, but I’m guessing the hag probably took the good stuff and sold them off.”
“Well”, Gregory the eagle said, “ this stuff can still sell for around 100 gold each at least, but nothing too earth-shattering.”
“We are stealing randomly,” Charlie agreed. “If we want class-specific items, tracking them down might be easier.”
“D’ya think Finn thought of that?” Hagerd asked.
“Yes,” Geoffrey said. “And if he didn’t, he will now.”
“Alright,” Charlie sighed, pulling out a parchment paper, “Gear for the party research. Done.”
“So can we take all this stuff with us?” Geoffrey asked.
“The only things that are safe to take are what we got from the skunk and dragonborn.” Charlie said. “Oh, and Maisy’s stuff and any gold. Untraceable.”
“The caravan leaves tomorrow. Anything we need to do has to be tonight.”
Charlie nodded. “Ok, put everything in the Bag of holding. Hagerd, let’s visit Glitz and get you a Trim.”
“You still haven’t told me what that is.”
“Its...” Charlie briefly trailed off in thought, “a less invasive version of tailoring?”
“You skimmed over that section, huh?” Hagerd replied.
“Yes.” Charlie said. “Sorry. But you’ll be fighting fit.”
“Alright, I trust you?”
“Why did you say that like a question?” Charlie asked.
Hagerd side-eyed Geoffrey and Gregory.
“Well, y-you can definitely trust me on this one.” Charlie said.
“Fine,” Hagerd sighed. “Let’s go.”
Together, the two packed up the items they were going to fence and left.