After what had been an incredible season, Coach Tom Kilgore couldn’t believe his luck. His team was on the cusp of winning their first state title when their star quarterback was injured the day before the big game.
No one knew the plays like he had with the sole exception of his coach, but that was no good since coaches couldn’t play — not that Coach Kilgore was in an shape to take to the field as his prime has well passed him.
He was trying to think of what to do when his injured QB Jackson entered his office.
“Coach, this strange package just arrived for you.”
Coach Kilgore cut the box open, and instead of anything he ordered he saw a pair of little, prone dice. "...What the fuck are these?" He asked aloud.
“Look Coach, there’s some old paper in the box too.”
“Magic Lots
Longing for your younger days?
Need some magic to wash away those grays?
With the toss of these magic dice today
Watch the years melt away.”
“What kind of joke is this? Magic dice? What I need is a new quarterback not some stupid dice.” Coach Kilgore lamented as he threw the dice onto his desk a pair of threes coming up.
That was when he felt it start. He thought it was some sort of health crisis, and pinned himself up against one of his office walls, grunting in pain and surprising pleasure.
“Coach are you okay?”
Coach Kilgore’s obese stomach began to shrink ever so slightly as he regressed, rising up and becoming a solid beer gut. As he ran his fat fingers through his thin hair he could feel it thicken ever so slightly as his hairline pushed forward. As quickly as the changes began though they stopped, leaving the man an overweight but healthier looking 41 year old.
“Coach, I think those dice actually made you younger!”
Coach Kilgore couldn’t believe it himself! The change was minor but he indeed was a few years younger than he had been moments ago.
That’s when it hit them both. Maybe those dice were the answer to their team’s prayers. A way to get a new star quarterback just in time for the big game!