Whew! It sure is a relief that the pain in your backbone has tapered off. Somehow the pressure on your vertebrae has managed to spill out of your rear like water getting flushed down a toilet. In fact, your back still feels bloated and distended, and there's still a sort of strange discomfort behind you, but you're pretty sure the worst is over. Now you can get back to focusing on what really interests you: how in the world you have cattle ears now!
Surely that's not what these really are, is it? It's not possible for a person to have bovine ears. Surely they're just swollen somehow? If only you could be sure you could trust this mirror! You are in a funhouse, after all. After another look in the mirror, you take your phone out of your pocket and look at your face with the camera. You gasp! You can see your wide, pointed ears on the smartphone screen, too. You twitch them on purpose again, and sure enough, you can move them as easily as you would wiggle a finger. The mirror was telling the truth?
The discomfort at the end of your spine still hasn't completely gone away, and you realize that your pants feel a bit tighter, too, like something is in them, and--wait, did it just move? Ah! Something furry is trying to slither around in your pants leg! Your pretty sure you can feel your spine twitch every time it happens, but that doesn't make since, does it? This is too weird. You're going to have to get this furry thing out of your pants. It's like some sort of weasel has burrowed down there next to your thigh. How did it even get down there?
You quickly undo your belt and reach a hand straight down in between your legs and almost immediately get a grip on a warm, furry rope-like object. You drop your phone in shock, and at first you aren't sure why. Then you realize it's because you can actually feel a hand grabbing you! That can't be right, can it? You adjust your grip start to carefully pull the fuzzy intruder up and out of your pants. Your ears flap around a little as you try to get your bearings. You look down at your hand and see that the thing you are holding looks exactly like a bull's tail. Your grip on it is sending strange sensations through your spine. You drop it and feel a new weight hanging from your back and start running further into the funhouse. Then you trip and fall because something's wrong with your feet now!
You slap your newfound tail against the floor a couple times, splay your legs in front of you and end up taking off your shoes. You see your socks stretched tightly over feet that are lengthening out unnaturally before you. You see a couple of very broad shapes coalescing where your toes should be, so you take a sock off and shudder. There, at the end of your lengthening foot, is the unmistakable keratin form of a wide, split hoof!
"I'm going to be a bull before this is over," you realize. "I'm going to have to get out of here!" You steady yourself up on your big bovine feet as best you can and hobble down the hallway, seeing your ears and tail in the mirror as you progress.