Felix knew something was wrong the moment he woke up and looked out the window to see the entire neighborhood was changed into the most exaggerated stereotype of upper-class British life this side of a BBC drama.
“Ash… Christ, boy, you just couldn’t hold back, could you…?” the older badger sighed, rubbing his forehead with frustration as he surveyed the damage. Charming country homes with wrought-iron fences, rose gardens so big and fragrant Felix could smell them from inside the house… Hell, even the cars were driving on the wrong side of the road! That couldn’t be safe, Felix was sure of that.
And yet, he was also oddly conflicted at what he was seeing. Sure, it was just a bunch of prissy, foppish, tea-sipping nonsense (or as Asher would say, ‘right proper’), but Felix knew that it was something that Asher had always fantasized about. He’d known his nephew his whole life, and even as a boy Asher had loved anything old-fashioned and posh. Where most young men might hide porn from their parents, the quirky European badger had smuggled as many retro British fashion magazines and old department store catalogs into the house as he could get his paws on, poring over every detail to imagine his perfect ‘proper’ fantasy life. And now that Asher had the power to make that life a reality, he’d thrust himself into his little project with the enthusiasm that only a young man could.
Felix could respect that. Really, he could.
But hell if he was going to let Asher have the whole neighborhood to play with. Not while Felix was the one still paying off the mortgage on this new house, that’s for sure. A house which, Felix was pleased to see, was still mostly unaffected by Asher’s focus. For now, at least.
“Okay, okay… Let’s show that posh young cub what a real badger boar can do…” Felix grunted as he walked over to the bedroom mirror and got himself ready for the day. He grabbed a tin of Royal Crown pomade and a stiff comb and got to work, using the perfect amount of product to slick the fur on top of his head up and backward, running the comb down the back and through the sides to sculpt a flawless pompadour without even a single strand of fur out of place. Nodding approvingly at his reflection, he opened up his dresser and pulled out a pair of dark, well-worn denim jeans that were just the right fit for his stocky, muscular body.
“Just one more touch, and I’m ready to hit the town,” Felix chuckled as he pulled his most prized possession out of the closet and held it out to admire. A classic leather jacket, smelling strongly of leather oil and badger musk, which Felix had owned and had meticulously cared for since he was a teenager.
Asher’s uncle was a lot more like him than either of them were likely to admit. Both of them had a fascination with the fashion and culture of a time long past, just from opposite sides of the pond. But Felix’s love was for retro American style, when the cars were fast and the people still knew what rock ‘n roll was. He donned his leather jacket in a practiced movement, letting the brownish-gray fur on his chest peek out around the collar, teasing anyone that saw him to think about what was hiding underneath.
“Yeah, that one sexy badger, right there. Sorry, Ash, but when the neighborhood gets a taste of this…” he said with a confident smirk and flexed his thick arms in the mirror. “...Well, they might start seein’ things my way. Goodbye tea-time, hello T-Birds…”
Laughing at his own joke, Felix strutted out the front door, keeping his eyes peeled for any unchanged humans that Asher hadn’t gotten to yet…
-----------------------------------------------------------
“Aww man, what the hell just happened!?” Jack yelled in frustration as he paced up and down next to his car. One minute, the young man had been driving the same roads he’d always driven, and the next he suddenly had to swerve to avoid another car that was coming right at him in the wrong lane. “Probably some drunk or something… Who the hell drives in the left lane, anyway?” he muttered as he surveyed the damage. A dented fender, a cracked windshield, and to top it all off a punctured tire…
As Jack just stared blank-faced at the mess, he didn’t hear the man approaching him from behind, but the strong scent of leather and musk immediately alerted him to the man’s presence. He turned around and found himself staring right into the broad, muscular chest of a tall man in a leather jacket. But not just a man, but a bulky, grinning badger.
“Car troubles?” the badger rumbled with a smirk on his face, and in his shock at what he was seeing Jack could only nod nervously. “...Well, looks like a simple enough fix, right?”
“W-what? Are you kidding me?” Jack replied incredulously. “It’s totally totaled! I’d have to call in a tow truck just to-”
“Waste of money, kid. Just fix it yourself. You can fix a car, can’t ‘ya?” the badger chuckled, patting Jack on the back with one of his big paws. As soon as the paw touched him, Jack felt a tingle spreading down his spine, followed by an itch that seemed to radiate outward from where the badger had touched.
“Umm… R-right, I guess so. But I don’t have any tools, mister…?”
“Felix. No ‘mister’, either. And of course you’ve got your tools, right?” Felix chuckled, eyeing the other man’s backside and grinning as he saw a short, ropy tail tail beginning to poke its way out at the base of Jack’s spine. “Just check the trunk.”
Something about Felix’s confident, commanding tone made Jack’s legs start to move all on their own and a hazy fog descend upon his mind. He slowly walked to his car and opened up the trunk, and was surprised to see a big toolbox and (fittingly enough) a jack to help change his tire. He reached up and scratched his head in confusion, not even noticing as his ears slowly began to slide up the sides of his head and stretch into long, rounded flaps, and as soon as they reached the top of his scalp they flopped forward limply. He frowned when he noticed the tip of his nose beginning to darken and push forward into a blunt snout, while the skin of his cheeks began to go slack and droop downward into a pair of wobbly jowls. He felt a moment of discomfort as his feet grew larger and changed shape before shredding his shoes and socks into scraps, dull black claws tipping each of his new paws.
“Come on, time’s a’wasting,” Felix called over, breaking Jack’s train of thought. He grabbed the toolbox and jack and bright them back to Felix, and without even thinking Jack started to begin the process of changing the tire while Felix watched over approvingly. As the car was lifted into the air, it began to change just as much as Jack was; shiny chrome accents wove their way around the edges of the car, the boring gray color brightened into a candy-apple red, and the top canopy slowly pulled backwards into the vehicle’s body. By the time the tire was changed, the entire car had completely changed from a cheap compact into a classic convertible muscle car, completely repairing any damage at all.
And completely unnoticed by Jack (but much to Felix’s delight), while the young man worked he was being carefully molded into Felix’s own ideal. The itch that Jack had felt on his back had quickly blossomed into a fine coating of short cream-colored fur, with a pair of copper-brown spots of fur appearing over each of Jack’s eyes as his skull continued to morph and reshape into a short, canine muzzle. His stubby tail wagged happily as he looked over his prized hot rod, without even a scratch on it.
“See, told ya you knew how to fix it. Cause any good greaser knows how to fix his machine, dig?” Felix said confidently, watching as the final few changes worked their way onto Jack’s body. The slightly longer fur on his head shortened on each side while the longer front fur twisted backward into a tight, short pompadour that was held in place by a heavy coating of pomade. Finally, his outfit shimmered for a moment before warping into a simple white undershirt and crisp pair of blue jeans, a simple new outfit for a simple working-class bulldog like Jack.
“Ain’t gotta tell me, daddy-o,” the newly-minted greaser bulldog laughed, his jowls wobbling with each word. Unconsciously, he slipped a paw into his pocket and pulled out a spring-loaded comb and began carefully fixing up his pompadour while Felix looked on approvingly at his work. Jack glanced up and down the neighborhood, his eyes narrowing as he took in all the posh and stuffy estates up and down the street. “What’s the deal with this ‘hood, anyway? Talk about a Squaresville…”
“That’s for sure. Say, how about we take that fancy flip-top of yours cruising and show these squares what real men look like?” Felix offered, putting an arm around Jack’s waist and waggling an eyebrow at the other man. Jack’s floppy ears stood upright for a second and he felt a hot blush under his fur at the slightly older man’s attention, but the feeling of the badger’s claws gently stroking his short fur practically made him melt into a puddle on the ground.
“...Hop in, let’s go for a spin,” Jack grinned as he pulled out a pair of aviator sunglasses and popped them on, and soon enough him and Felix were tearing down the streets with the wind blowing through their fur, blasting all the hippest 50’s rock ‘n roll over the radio as they prowled the neighborhood looking for a little fun...