Erwin was 32 years old, balding, and very out of shape, a belly stretching out his shirt now adays.
He’d recently moved to the city after receiving a job offer for a cable company as an installer. It paid decent wages and he had his own apartment. Plus, the new job offered a company vehicle that he could take home, so he’d jumped at the offer.
Erwin was a nerd. College was filled with nights playing video games. He wasn’t sure if that was a worthy usage of his limited time on this earth, but he liked doing it. Recently, he’d started watching Essential Role and had gotten the roleplaying bug.
Unfortunately, when he’d tried to find an outlet for his nerdy interest, he quickly realized how strangely insular the gaming community here was.
The comic shops had lists of people with numbers to call, but everyone he made contact with either had a group or was no longer interested and asked if he would please forget their number. What people were interested had jobs or families and their schedules never lined up. It was incredibly frustrating.
Then, one day, he’d walked into Blaster Comics and Games, and had seen an ad posted by someone who purported to be a real dragon.
He’d never seen a dragon before, in fact, he wasn’t even sure if they really existed. And yet, one really old dragon in town was running games. Had invited anyone interested. Erwin was interested.
Unfortunately, he’d never actually played and had been reliably informed that Essential Role wasn’t really DnD, it was a weekly drama with a thin veneer of hip nerdiness added. But the way the dragon had described his table, he was taking anyone, even new players.
So, the next day after work, he drove to the dragon’s lair.
The neighborhoods, which had been laid out in an orderly fashion, shifted and changed the closer he got to the dragon’s house. Up ahead, the streets encircled a large, craggy mountain that thrust awkwardly out of the naturally flat land. Erwin parked his vehicle along the curb by a mailbox at the address.
It was rather comical, a pleasant white picket fence and river stone path led up to two huge, intimidating double doors made out of volcanic glass set into the face of the dark basalt mountain. Next to the smoky onyx doors was a doorbell with a ring camera attached.
Erwin got out and approached the rather intimidating entrance and rang the bell.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Finn had just settled down to catch up with Charlie’s party after sending the last party on its way and giving his warning to Charlie.
He considered following the new group as it journeyed, but he was kinda invested in Jeff and Charlie’s group right now. When their adventure was over, he planned on rewinding the simulation and watching the others. Knowing his hoard was growing filled him with a sense of accomplishment.
The doorbell rang.
A few minutes later, Dave traipsed down the stairs with Finn’s evening meal. The little kobold struggled mightily under the weight of the huge order of buffalo wings. Finn watched as the kobold plated his food before rushing back up the stairs.
Steam wafted off the nearby table as a huge pile of buffalo wings sat next to a veritable cauldron of dipping sauce. Unlike most of his food nowadays, these were delivery – for some reason the kobolds just couldn’t get the buffalo sauce right. Perhaps he should use the Chronivac on the delivery guy? Or the cook?
‘Nah,’ he thought as he snuggled into the fluffy, oversized couch. There were some things that were better to have made by skilled craftsman, rather than the domestic servants – like this couch for example. Custom made and impregnated with a special heatproof silicon treatment that he’s had to buy from Doe Chemical, it was very expensive. Very expensive, but comfy – and something that a kobold would never be able to make, no matter how hard it tried.
The dragon rubbed his scaly claws together and reached a taloned claw out to press the crystal ball and resume the simulated reality. Charlie had just entered the first real dungeon and Finn had given his warning and request. His claw paused as the memory triggered an almost overwhelming sense of anxiety.
Finn needed his boyfriend.
He hadn’t been kidding when he’d told Charlie Jeff had been his anchor. The dragon had come to realize, as he grew larger, that along with his size, his age was increasing. Every hour that passed, another year of his long, lazy draconic life had settled into his skull.
It was scary because he was losing himself to the cold, draconic mind that had momentarily taken hold of him when he’d tried to turn back. The new personality was calculating and sociopathic and it scared him deeply. Dragon Finn had no empathy for anyone and only cared about his only self and needs. In other words, evil. Or perhaps chaotic? Looking at his red scales, he realized that it could very well be both.
The anger he felt when players showed up unprepared was like a personal insult. Even worse was when they failed to follow his directions. Finn knew that he was overreacting, and yet he just couldn’t stop himself from punishing them. It was like smashing an insect that was biting him. No matter how slight the injury being inflicted on him, it just felt so… right to crush the one inflicting it on him. Like the punishment was somehow ridding the world of something that had no business being there in the first place.
Worse, with every year he gained, his life with his friends grew farther and farther away. At least two decades had piled into his brain now. And he was very lonely.
Kobolds were nice and all, but he would hardly call his relationship with them intimate, despite the fact that they sucked and fucked him. It was perfunctory. They were kobolds and he was a dragon. What he wanted was a mate. Something his dragon-self seemed to want as well.
He wanted Jeff back.
Finn sighed, his mood souring. He also needed more kobolds. As he grew, it was getting harder and harder for two kobolds to attend to his needs. Sponge baths that took a few minutes took an hour now, made worse by the fact that he couldn’t help but demand that his scales be properly polished as well. Food preparation alone took most of his former father’s day, though Dave never complained. Kobolds didn’t complain. They were basically living NPCs, with only one goal in mind: serving their master.
He didn’t want them, but he now understood why they were essential to maintain his lazy lifestyle.
Sighing, he reached out once again to turn on the crystal ball when the doorbell rang.
He snorted a fireball in frustration. Damn it! Who the hell was it this time? It was like reality was conspiring to prevent him from ever knowing what was happening with Jeff-err, Charlie’s party!
Was it a new player or was it another group of proselytizers from the Church of Today’s Saints? He couldn’t believe that someone would walk up to a literal dragon’s lair and then ignored the ‘No Soliciting’ sign on his door. And yet, they had the gall to do exactly that. So he sent them screaming into his simulated fantasy world as grubby little rat thieves for their hubris. At first, he’d hoped that would have taught them not to come here again, but then he realized that reality had likely shifted so that no one else would remember the group that had.
Fucking reality shifts. Man, that shit made everything so confusing.
The doorbell rang again.
“Mike!” Finn bellowed.
“Yes master?” Mike called from below him.
Finn looked down, startled, and saw the little kobold looking up at him, muzzle covered in precum, stroking the dragon’s immense, rock-hard draconic spire. He’d completely forgotten the little loyal kobold was there. More importantly was his raging and very obvious erection. If he had guests…
Oh, this might be embarrassing.
“Can you get the door?” Finn asked quietly.
“Dave upstairs. He get it.” Mike assured the dragon, patting his cock, which issued another spurt of precum.
Finn grimaced. “Yes, well, if you could stop stroking me off and, uh, cover up my erection, that would be nice.”
“No want finish?” Mike cocked his head.
“Guests, Mike.” Finn said firmly, “Humans have a very narrow idea of sexuality.”
“Master!” Dave called from far up above, “Human here to see you for game!”
“Quick, Mike, cover it!” Finn desperately hissed.
“How Mike cover?” Mike asked, staring at the ridiculously large red wiener.
“I don’t know!” Finn said, exasperated, “Just, uh…just throw a blanket on it, quick!”
The kobold darted away before returning with a large flame-retardant blanket and tossed it over the dragon’s regal, twitching member. Finn didn’t have to look down to realize that his two foot boner was still obvious. Oh well, he tried.
“Come!” Finn called.
Mike immediately ducked under the blanket and started stroking the dragon off.
“No, no, not you!” Finn tried removing the kobold, but he could hear footsteps descending the stone stairs to his cavern lair. “Aw, fuck it.”
Finn attempted to look regal as the human entered his lair.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Erwin wasn’t sure what to expect, but a cheerful, chirpy kobold wasn’t on his mind when the big doors slid open.
They moved sideways on silent tracks into the stone walls and a beaming little kobold stood in front of him. Behind it, the interior looked fairly modern, with tiled stone floors and polished basalt walls. His eyes focused back on the unblinking reptile, who had cocked his head and studied him curiously.
“Greetings, human!” The kobold cocked his head, regarding Erwin with some curiosity, “You here for job or adventure?”
“Uh, he’s hiring?”
Dave the kobold looked him up and down, “Always.”
“I’m not sure that I have the right qualifications.” Erwin said.
The kobold’s reptilian lips curled into a cruel smile, “Won’t be problem! You get job, you get all experience necessary on spot.”
“Well, I have a job,” Erwin shook his head, “A real live kobold! Sorry, it’s just… wow!”
“You have sheet and backstory?” the kobold asked.
“Uh, no. I was going to talk to Finn about it.”
The kobold’s mouth opened and then shut in what Erwin assumed was a grin. “Oh. Good luck.”
The kobold waved Erwin in and began to lead him deeper into the lair.
As he had seen from behind the kobold, the ground floor was mostly a very well-appointed living area. Oddly, it was sized for humans rather than the short reptile he was following. He could see a kitchen, bathroom, even a dining area.
But the main detail was the gigantic stairway in the center of the room.
Erwin noticed the ceiling were at least fifty feet high from the door to this stairway - likely as a way for the dragon to enter and leave his house. And the kobold was leading him straight to it.
“Master!” The kobold shouted down the stairs, “Human here to see you!”
They waited, Erwin suddenly feeling quite nervous. He was about to meet a real live dragon!
They waited for a few minutes, all while the kobold just sat there looking at him with a smirk on its snout. Erwin wondered why it looked so amused. Then a deep, booming voice echoed up the stairs.
“Come!” Finn’s voice came from deep below.
Erwin swallowed.
He leaned forward and looked down the stairway. Light extended a few feet down the stairs, but beyond that was endless darkness, with no sign of the dragon that had just called out. Erwin wondered if he’d made a mistake.
“It dark. Master can see with dragon eyes,” the kobold said, then snapped his claws.
Sconces on the wall lit up the path down the stairs and lights flickered on far down the huge stairs, a cavern visible at the bottom. The kobold scurried forward, hooping lithely down the stairway. Erwin carefully followed after him, carefully descending each extra-tall step..
Reaching the bottom, Erwin noticed that it was much more modern than any dragon lair he’d ever imagined. There was a huge flatscreen made out of a thousand separate monitors lining the walls. On it was displayed a paused game of Ancient band, the game whose DLC had just been announced. Over in the far corner was a huge pile of pillows and enormous blankets that had been quilted together to form a comfortable bed.
In the middle of the room was a huge table. It was too high for a human to sit at comfortably and at the top of the big onyx table was a huge crystal ball. Displayed within the swirling mists of the ball, in a definition that made reality itself look bland, was a black-furred wolfman, dressed in leather armor and nursing a mangled paw. The wolfman was frozen mid-stride down an ancient-looking corridor.
Oh, and of course, there was the fifteen foot tall, red scaled dragon laying lazily on a fluffy couch next to the table.
He had a long, scaly neck and was glaring balefully down at Erwin. The human gulped and managed to break eye contact with the slitted reptilian eyes. He looked the dragon over and noticed a blanket draped over his front. A big bump distorted it, and as Erwin watched, it twitched.
Erwin made a few quick mental calculations and realized it was an erect draconic cock.
He looked back up at the dragon, who was… blushing fiercely. Erwin wisely chose to pretend he hadn’t seen the dragon’s untimely erection and tried for a smile. His mouth twitched but failed to properly do anything but expose his teeth.
“Hello, human.” The dragon spoke, his voice a rolling boom, “You may call me Finn. I am a professional DM. Are you here to play a game with me?”
“Yes,” Erwin replied. “My name is Erwin.”
Out of the bottom of his vision, the blanket twitched. Erwin firmly did not look at it. Finn’s blush deepened.
“Good. Nice to meet you, Erwin. Do you have a character sheet and a backstory ready?”
“I do not.” Erwin said promptly.
The dragon grimaced. “I was very specific.”
“I’ve never played DnD.” Erwin shrugged. “I had trouble adding things up and it was really confusing. You said new players were welcome.”
Finn rolled his eyes. “Right.”
“So, how do you play?”
Finn gazed at him unblinkingly, which he was very good at, and not just because he didn’t have eyelids. Then his eyes rolled down to the crystal ball on the table. Erwin held his breath, subconsciously realizing his fate was resting in the dragon’s scaly hands.
“Do you like buffalo wings?” Finn asked finally.
Erwin let out a breath and grinned. “I love buffalo wings!”
“Pull up a chair.” Finn pointed at the table.
“Uh, it’s kinda high-”
Finn snapped his claws and suddenly the table and the dragon were human sized. “Better?”
Erwin nodded numbly and slid into a seat next to the dragon.
Finn pointed at the crystal ball. “You can watch.”
“Uh,” Erwin glanced at the wolf. “Is it a TV or something?”
“Something.” Smoke curled form Finn’s nostrils as the dragon chuckled in amusement. “You know what? Let’s make this fun. I told Charlie - that’s the wolf’s name - that I wouldn’t interfere anymore. But I’ll pause the game and let you choose his actions.”
“How?”
“Magic.” Finn said simply.
“Okay.” Erwin shrugged his shoulders. “Kind of like those choose-your-own-adventure stories.”
“If you manage to guide him to victory, I’ll give you a reward.” Finn said.
“What’s the reward?”
“A thousand year lifespan.” Finn said promptly. “And you’ll never have to worry about being bald again.”
“Eternal youth?”
“If you play your cards right.” Finn shrugged. “Do we have a deal?”
Erwin paused, “What if Charlie dies because of me?”
“Hoho, I wouldn’t worry about that, my future ko-” The dragon cleared his throat, “*Ahem*, sorry, I mean my future player. We’ll just try again!”
“Really?” Erwin asked.
“Charlie won’t remember,” The dragon assured Erwin.
“Is there a penalty?”
“For losing? No! This is a learning experience.” Finn said confidently. “I find it entertaining. So, do we have a deal?”
The dragon extended a claw.
Erwin eyed it for a moment.
A shot at living ten times the lifespan of the oldest human ever and remaining youthful? No drawbacks for losing and unlimited do-overs? He was basically guaranteed a win. For a brief moment, he wondered if there was a catch.
Oh what did it matter? He was dealing with a dragon. Why would it trick him? If it wanted to hurt him, it could have easily done so. Plus, being a dragon must be lonely. Maybe it did just want a new friend?
“Deal!’ Erwin smiled up at Finn as he reached out and grabbed one of the dragon’s claws.
A spark of static electricity shot through his hand. The blanket twitched and Finn blushed heavily. Erwin looked at the blanket and licked his lips, a strange urge filling him. The dragon was clearly in need. Maybe he should help him out?
“Do you, uh,” Erwin looked down at the twitching draconic cock-meat. “Need a little help down there?”
“Why, I thought you would never ask!” Finn grinned widely, showing off very, long, sharp teeth.
The dragon pulled off the blanket, revealing a kobold crouched between the dragon’s spread legs, licking his prodigious ballsack. Finn patted the couch next to him and Erwin scooted over. The dragon smiled down at him, long neck swaying.
Erwin’s hand reached out and grasped the handsome dragon’s throbbing pillar.
A strange feeling passed through him as he slowly stroked the dragon off. It was so comforting to be here, jacking off the dragon, almost like this was where he belonged, but something a bit more. Before he had a chance to explore that new feeling, the dragon pulled him close to his chest.
“Here we go, little one.” Finn nuzzled Erwin’s face.
The dragon’s words flowed over his skin, causing his stubble to recede into his face while his body hair shrank into nothingness. The smooth man blushed and leaned into the dragon, only for one of Finn’s claws to gently turn his head towards the crystal ball.
“Let’s play.”
The dragon hit rewind and Erwin watched as the events of Diamond Hollow unfold. His hand continued to stroke the hot, firm meat, precum drooling form the dick’s tip. Absently, he pulled his hand away and sucked licked his fingers clean, enjoying the sweet and salty taste.
“Buffalo wing?” Finn asked.
Erwin shook his head as the draconic musk wafting from Finn’s loins hit him. It was spicy, deeply masculine, and reminded him of the smell of a hot summer’s day in a dry field. His mouth watered and he stared at that big, twitching dick, eyes beginning to glaze.
“I think I know what you’d like in your mouth,” Finn’s voice was oddly soft.
A claw gently pressed his head down towards the meat. Erwin didn’t resist, mouth opening. The hot meat hit his tongue and he moaned, his own cock spasming, a warm load filling his pants. He bobbed, savoring the juicy dragon dick as it burped more precum and he swallowed it down.
“Keep your eyes on the screen, little one.” Finn practically purred, his forked tongue flickering, and he laid back in his chair, enjoying the clumsy blowjob.
Erwin’s eyes were glazed but on the master’s - the dragon’s orders, he rolled them away from the beautiful spire to stare transfixed at the screen. Finn’s clawed hand scritched the top of Erwin’s head and the hairs started falling out, his scalp developing a scaly pattern.
This was such a good game.