“I… okay.” Nate swallowed nervously. “Thank you for the opportunity sir.”
Nate picked up the pen. This wasn’t some spontaneous tail bursting out of his pants. He wasn’t being suddenly swept away to life on some farm. The Chronivac was forcing him to sign his human life away with literal paperwork. It was going to be filed away in triplicate somewhere in a corporate (and probably government) office. There was forever going to be document showing that he had agreed to become a donkey. He had signed on the dotted line and everything.
Nate had gotten himself into this mess, and he didn’t see any options but to continue. If he didn’t do it now, Owen would just find some other way of changing him later.
He signed his name slowly. He thought it was because of the importance of the moment, but no, he just wasn’t good at writing anymore. He set the pen down and pushed the paper back finally. He honestly wasn’t sure what he had just signed.
“I’m sure you’ll appreciate this in the end.” His boss smiled softly. “Now if you wouldn’t mind going with Mr. Smith outside from HR.”
Nate nodded, leaving his (former?) boss’s office. A stuffy looking man in a full suit was standing by the door.
“Ah good, I trust you signed all the relevant paperwork Nate?” He nodded at the man, “If you wouldn’t mind following me.”
The two started to make their way down the hall. Before they could make it to the office’s elevator however, a door to a conference room opened. All of his office friends poured out. Clint, Dan, and Eric all glanced between Nate and the stranger.
“Hey Nate, are you going to be back for our two o clock?” Clint asked curiously.
Mr. Smith cleared his throat, “I’m afraid Nate was less than forthcoming about his qualifications. He’s being reassigned.”
“Reassigned? To what?” Dan blinked, “Look, there must be some misunderstanding.”
Mr. Smith shook his head, “We just completed all the paperwork. Nate’s joining the company’s donkeys.”
Eric’s eyes went wide. “Are you serious?”
Mr. Smith seemed done with the conversation. Nate quickly followed after him.
“Yes? Long story!” Nate waved nervously to his friends, “I’ll see you around!”
“If you get assigned to this building.” Mr. Smith noted.
The two crossed the corporate campus, heading to the building with the HR department. Nate wasn’t sure what was going to happen next, or how a large corporation would even go about turning people into donkeys.
Nate got another buzz on his wrist as he entered the HR department. The sinking feeling in his stomach was quickly replaced with confusion however. What was “Now connected with networked Chronivac” supposed to mean? He tapped his watch curiously. It just went back to the clock display. Nate felt uncomfortable as he tried to parse the meaning of the words. Were they actually obtuse, or was he just not smart enough to understand tech jargon?
“If you’ll follow me please,” Mr. Smith gestured Nate to a small side room.
Inside, Nate saw a workstation with a faded TransDem logo on it. It wasn’t the company’s current logo, and featured an old looking dithered gradient. The system was was massive, and had an emitter beside it the size of a small television.
“Have you ever heard of a Chronivac before Nate?” He gestured to a small plastic chair, “Please sit.”
“Uh…” Nate had no idea how two Chronivac’s would interact with each other. Surely this wasn’t the one he got the buzz about. It looked like it was running off a serial port!
“I know it’s hard to believe, but this device allows us to make necessary changes to our workforce.” Mr smith sat down in front of the machine. “This here’s the original model. It can’t do the fancy reality altering like the new ones, but it gets the job done. You’ll be a proper donkey in no time.”
The man flipped the power switch. The machine groaned to life. Mr. Smith casually started to type his login credentials. He was treating taking away Nate’s humanity like any other part of his job. “Just give me a moment to back up your current profile…”
Nate really didn’t like the grinding noise that hard drive was making. How many employees’ human forms were stored on this old spinning platter back here? What would happen when the hard drive eventually died?
“So… do you do this a lot?” Nate rocked back and forth on the plastic chair.
“Hmm?” He looked up, “Oh. Every January.”
“Do people usually do something before committing to all this?” Nate rubbed the back of his head.
Mr. Smith raised an eyebrow, “Nate, you already signed the paperwork. You’re officially a beast of burden for the next three years.” He tapped the ancient Chronivac, “I’m engaging in our corporate right to assign you a new species.”
Nate blinked, “Oh.”
“…also people sometimes sneak off to the bathroom to jack off one last time for whatever reason.” He typed on the keyboard a bit more, “I suppose it’s the most human thing one can do on short notice? I don’t really get it.” He gave Nate a look, “Please tell me you don’t have to go to the bathroom.”
Nate held up his hands, “Oh jeez, no!” His face went flush.
“Good.” Mr. Smith kept typing. Nate was pretty sure he could hear a floppy drive click.
“So… Have you ever used the Chronivac on yourself?” Nate asked curiously.
“Heaves no. This thing gives me the willies.” He laughed, “I went to college for a reason.”
“Hey.” Nate sat up.
“Sit back down beast.” Mr. Smith glared.
Nate sat back down. Oh. Shit. Was everyone about to start treating him like that?
“Now then, we didn’t spring for that many presets…” He turned the monitor to face Nate. There were three donkey men on the screen. One was tall and skinny. The other was short and rotund. The other was… generic. Average everything. Literally every slider next to the image was in the middle. They were all wearing the same standard janitor uniform.
Mr. Smith coughed into his hand politely. “Which would you like to be?”
Nate stared, “Those are my only choices? Can you just make… a donkey version of me?” He gulped.
He shook his head, “Maybe with a newer model, but these donkeys are the only ones our Chronivac can make.” He raised an eyebrow, “Didn’t you think it was weird how all our donkeys look alike? We have to give them numbers to keep them straight.”
“Can’t you just call them by name?” Nate squirmed on his seat.
“Oh you’re funny.” Mr. Smith laughed. He turned the monitor back towards himself, clicking on one of the figures. “I think this one looks the most like you.”
Nate sat up to try and see which one he had selected. “Hey wait…!”
Mr. Smith ignored the outburst. He was already carefully lining up his mouse with a button on the screen. He scooted away from the emitter, “You’ll want to hold still.” Mr. Smith held his breath and dramatically clicked the button.
Nate’s watch buzzed, “New Routine Received From Networked Chronivac: Paper Corp Donkey 1.7b. Integrating profile into current script.”
“Huh.” Mr. Smith sat up, looking over the emitter while being very careful not to lean in front of it. “Normally it’s louder than this.”
Nate’s watch buzzed again, “Attribute Added: Donkey Tail.”
Nate missed the notification and was hardly listening. He felt a strange pressure swell in his pants and… and…
“Hee haw!” He brayed loudly. Nate shot up out of the chair, holding onto the seat of his pants. He recognized what was happening immediately. A distinct tassel pushed out from the base of his tailbone.
“Oh good, it’s working.” Mr. Smith sat back down.
“Hee haw…!” Nate let out another bray. He reached up to cover his mouth, but then reached down for his tail again, “It itches…!”
The man nodded, “That’s a common response.”
Haw! This time Nate could feel his tailbone start to stretch out. Before he just… suddenly had a tail! Now every new strand of fur felt like a surprise to him. His brain was doing its best to keep up with the strange new swishing sensation behind him. His Chronivac may have been newer, but this program felt a lot less refined than Owen’s changes.
“This thing’s really out of date. It’ll take a few days for the routine to fully kick in.” Mr. Smith shut the computer down. He timidly reached in front of the emitter, making sure his hand didn’t grow any unexpected fur.
When he was satisfied, he finally stood up, “Alright, let’s go introduce your shift manager.”
“Give… give me a minute.” Nate stood there, awkwardly holding his pants up. This Chronivac profile hadn’t taught his mind how to deal with a tail. He was struggling to keep up with the new sensations, and his wagging kept nudging his pants down. With each passing moment the tail grew longer and its fur more filled out. Unlike the one Owen had grown for him that matched his hair, Nate’s tail now ended in a pitch black tassel. “I still can’t believe it’s real- Hey!”
Mr. Smith pulled on Nate’s ear, tugging him towards the door, “I don’t have all day beast.”
Nate wanted to protest, but in his flustered state he just managed another, “Haw!”
“Are you done?” He held the door open for Nate, “Come on, I think you’re going to like Donkey Number Five. He’s a B model like you.”