The Madame Illusia

new dogs for the force

Welcome to the Illusia Kennels new canine enrichment program!

Are you fed up with the rampant crime wave? Is your human life unfulfilling? Do you want to work in law enforcement but lack the training and physique to contribute? Well, look now further than Illusia Kennels for everything you'll need to make a difference!*

Police departments all across the local area are looking to enhance their K-9 units with new animals to help them sniff out danger and take a bite out of crime. Long known for its mounted police training program, the Costa Caballo Regional Police Training Facility is looking to provide new recruits with intelligent animals created directly from human volunteers. That's right! You can give up your dull life on two legs for a fast-past crime-fighting adventure!**

All of this is possible thanks to CCRPTF's revolutionary multi million dollar partnership with the marvelous Madame Illusia (TM) in giving new lives to new people in new bodies with all the benefits that includes. Thanks to Illusia's radical new species reassignment technology, we can have you out of your old life and into a new canine body in no time! Illusia calls it "verbally induced metaphysical realignment", but as far as we're concerned, it's just magic!***

Come on down to Illusia Kennels and start your new life today!
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* Reference to a "rampant crime wave" based on anecdotal evidence only. Officially reported crime rates in your local area will vary. Medical examination may be required upon entry into the canine enrichment program.
** Use of force is at the discretion of human officers only and is subject to review by the District 7 Unified Police Ethics Board. The Costa Caballo Regional Police Training Facility is an equal opportunity employer; references to "life on two legs" are metaphorical and NOT intended to exclude disabled applicants from eligibility for the canine enrichment program.
*** "Benefits" include relevant training, free nutritionally appropriate meals at scheduled times, and necessary medical care during and after metaphysical realignment. Supernatural claims related to the process have NOT been verified by independently peer-reviewed research. All bodily alterations are irreversible and may take up to seven days to complete. Satisfaction is NOT guaranteed.
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So, who's coming along to take advantage of the offer?

• Tony, a 21-year-old who's disillusioned with working life. A Canine added 5 months ago

• Marta, an undocumented immigrant hoping this will keep her from being deported.
• Alton, a closet furry who's sure (?) he'll be alright with becoming a feral dog.
• Latonya, a 45 year old single woman having a midlife crisis.
• Beth, a 68-year-old widowed housewife who's looking for a fresh start in retirement.
• Sayid, a juvenile delinquent who's being signed up by his parents.
• A spy from a foreign government who is infiltrating the program.
• Julio, a 29-year-old male who wants to be a drug dog.
• Alexis, a 31 year old female who wants to be a search-and-rescure dog.
• Oliver, an 81-year-old who totally misread the application.
• Roger, a man who wants to be a female dog.
• Inaya, a female who wants to be a male dog.

Write a new chapter