Rev. Mather and Dr. Bashir slipped into a side room where Lord Adrammelech, the Grand Chancellor, was drinking brandy and playing pool with Lord Nergal, the Chief of the Hellish Secret Police. Lord Nergal, a lion-headed demon with the wings of a vulture and the horns and hooves of a bull, looked at the Iron Knights. "Do you have information, humans?"
"We do," Dr. Bashir said, wincing as much at the sound of "her" own feminine voice as at Nergal's demonic form. "We just spoke to Rachel Church (alias Tenebra) and Princess Miasma, along with Rebecca Church (alias Atargatis) and Princess Astaroth. They're planning a triple wedding in Purgatory."
"Why Purgatory?!" Adrammelech growled. "Princes and Princesses of House Morningstar have had their weddings in Hell since the beginning! And did you say triple?"
"You heard Dr. Bashir," Rev. Mather sneered, enjoying his chance to get a bit snippy with the demons. "Rachel is marrying Miasma, Rebecca is marrying Astaroth, and Rev. Church's son Josh is marrying some angel called Penemue."
"The daughter of God?!" Nergal gasped.
"I don't know where you hellspawn get the idea God has any children besides Jesus Christ," Rev. Mather scoffed. "All I know about Penemue is that I recognize her name from the Book of Enoch. Chapter 68, verses 9 through 16, if you need to look it up."
"I have all your human holy books memorized, thank you very much," Nergal said dismissively. "I have a very good memory for storing the information my agents gather." He looked thoughtful. "So... Penemue will be part of this, you say?"
"That's right," Dr. Bashir nodded. "Yet another unnatural joining of human and spirit being in unlawful marriage."
"You and my assassins can remedy that," Nergal grinned excitedly. If Hell's secret police were to kill one of God's daughters, the war between Heaven and Hell would almost certainly be reignited. No more of this silly, unnatural peace that God and Lucifer were trying to enforce on their subjects! Hell would FINALLY get its revenge on Heaven!
"Thank you for this intelligence," Adrammelech said. "We'll prepare our agents to back you up in Purgatory."
A fiery portal suddenly opened, and Archduke Beelzebub leaped into the pool room. "This is bad!" he shouted. "I don't have long! I just slipped out of a meeting with the other Archdukes to salvage this!"
"What's going on now?" Rev. Mather groaned.
"Cruciata snitched!" Beelzebub moaned. "I psychically sensed it! She spoke to Michael and Baal! I also sensed them arresting Rev. Cromwell. That spoiled, cowardly bitch of a youngest daughter I have will have no doubt told Baal and Michael who you are, so I'm here to change your disguises and code names. I've already changed Rev. Church's shape and renamed him to Mendacius. Now it's your turn."
Beelzebub raised his hand, and the demonic forms of Rev. Mather and Dr. Bashir morphed and changed. Rev. Mather became a demon with the lower body of a scorpion and the antlers of a stag while Dr. Bashir became a buxom vixen-headed demon with the wings of a dragon.
"Rev. Mather, you are Anax, overseer of the palace servants," said Beelzebub. "Dr. Bashir, you are Mutea, one of the palace concubines."
"One of the WHAT?!!" Dr. Bashir screamed.
"You'll adapt, prude," Beelzebub scoffed. "Just keep claiming you have a headache. By Lucifer's own decree, nobody can force you to fuck with them."
"That's... better," sighed Dr. Bashir, resigned to "her" role as a court prostitute.
"I should be going now," Beelzebub said as he climbed back through the flaming portal. "I have a meeting to return to. Remember, my magic prevents any being in all the cosmos from smelling your human scents or sensing your human souls. Whether they're from Heaven, Hell, Earth, Purgatory, or some alien realm beyond, they will detect nothing but a demon. Good luck!" With that, the Archduke of the Eighth Circle left to meet with Lucifer.
"I wish he'd share some of those secret spells with me!" snorted Adrammelech. "Well, you two should get back to the party. You never know what useful tidbit you might learn."