William looked up from the mess he had made with a sort of post-nut clarity. Here he was: at his job, in his car, covered in jizz and bareass naked.
He turned his head to see Vincent tapping on the tinted glass, a plastic square in his hand.
"You forgot your badge," Vincent said in a matter of fact tone.
William scrambled to try and cover up but Vincent just said, "Relax. I saw it all about 10 minutes ago when I got down here. You're not the first person to rub one out on company time." Vincent said it with such sincerity that William did indeed relax. "I've got a towel in my van," Vincent said as he turned to walk a few cars over, his phone in his hand.
Vincent returned with a towel and passed it to William through the door. He then went around and grabbed the bag of clothes that had been hanging in the car, it had some residue still on it but Vincent just walked it over to the van.
"Come change in my van, it'll be easier."
William wrapped the towel around himself and rushed over to the open door to the van.
To be honest, the van was the most Vincent thing he had ever seen. It was a white panel van. The kind that everyone knows is creepy. William had always thought Vincent was weird, lazy, and lude. This van fit him better than anything he could have chosen.
"Get in my van..." William said.
Vincent looked at him with a broad smile. "Don't act like I'm some perv after what you were up to." he said jokingly.
William hopped into the van and Vincent tossed the hanging bag of laundered clothes in after him.
Vincent stayed outside the van, playing on his phone while William started to assess the situation. He did his best to wipe off the rest of the sticky gunk clinging to his legs and thighs before reaching into the bag and pulling out a shirt and a pair of pants. He thought for a moment he was going to have to freeball it for the rest of the work day but a closer inspection to the front pocket of the button down shirt revealed a shiny, light blue jockstrap where a pocket square or handkerchief might go.
Recognizing it as strange but thankful, he slipped on the silky garment before donning the trousers.
These weren't his clothes. The pants fit him like they were tailored to fit his every curve but these weren't his clothes. He'd never owned royal blue pants. He had some in navy but these were too blue, too fitted, too different. The shirt too was well made and fit him perfectly. It even had his monogram stitched on the cuff but it wasn't his. It was too form fitting, too thin, too tight. He knew that this wasn't his stuff but he had watched Vincent carry it from the car to the van. He had watched it the whole time.
He opened the back of the van and jumped out. He noticed Vincent was still on his phone. He looked up and said, "Lookin sharp!"
"Vincent, I... something's wrong," William stammered. "Everything is a little off."
Vincent looked at him for a long while glanced at his phone for a second and then said placidly, "You've gone through a lot of changes recently. The wedding, work stuff, things are going to feel weird. Don't worry about it."
William opened his mouth to speak but he shut it. How was he going to tell a coworker who up until this very moment he had nothing nice to say about and nothing but disdain for that his dick was different or that his underwear had changed. It was ludicrous.
Instead he mumbled, "I guess so."
Vincent perked up from his phone and said, "Just got an email. We're ahead of schedule so the boss is giving us a half day."
That is weird. William thought. When do sales go ahead of schedule? Why would we get a half day on a Thursday? But instead of trying to wrap his head around something so out of place, he just nodded.
"Wanna get lunch?" Vincent said, "I know a great place."