04/13/2020
Dear Diary:
Well, where to start, I guess who I now am, and what has happened in the last week, I am now younger by 4 years... maybe? well I think I am, that is what mom said, that I look like a 10 year old maybe younger? And well im... not white anymore or black... but mixed? I have the same skin color as the kid who has a white mom and a black dad, at my school, I also have brown long curly hair going just past my neck now, and I big brown eyes, and my body is small and skinny, well more than my old one, with my old body being in the next room from where I am writing this.
And I feel like I might as well write how I am now back at the cabin in this different body, and who is in my body next door and such and start well from the start.
You see when I woke up from the switch, I was not in the cabin anymore, I was in some small flat, with another kid and a woman who looked around 30?
They both were freaking out as much as I was, and well in the end they ran out of the flat and I was left alone in this “new” body, after getting myself together I managed to find a mirror and yes I was very shocked seeing a small boy who is a different race in cheap looking clothes looking back at me, and when I finely stopped exploring my new self from my hair to my cute little face to my skinny ribcage, and as well as my now very small and young looking privates what shocked me all over again, but I just hope they will grow like my last ones with what I got now is tiny, and maybe it will stay small if I'm stuck in this body!
I decided to sleep in the flat with it being dark out still, and after trying to call the cabin what mom told us to do straight away, but the line was way to busy, only getting statick from the phone.
and in the next morning after the shock of waking up in a younger different body, I decided to go out and find out where I am, and to my lucky stars I was in the local town “Old Higgs” around 5 miles from where the cabin is, and seeing chaos going on around this small town, from people just helping them self's to anything what is not nailed down, what where mostly kids to people what looked like there in there 20s. to a lot of frightened and scared looking people what where mostly old men and woman to kids as young as 5 looking lost in them self's looking at there hands and such, with them probably being adults/kids in there body's.
I remember just getting out of the building of flats and seeing a man punch a kid what looked around 7 and taking the bread he had, after just 5 mienats, and I knew I needed to get out and walk to the cabin straight away, knowing it took more than a hour to get to the cabin on bike, with me and my brother doing the trip, when we would go to town, when we would go to the lake/cabin for holidays.
And well having small legs and wearing cheeps shoes thinking this kid lived in a poor family, it took me 6 hours to get back to the cabin and I had blister’s all over my feet and felt the pain a lot more when I normally get them, thinking now it must be my now younger childish body making me feel pain much more, but I kept on going, and did not stop, and I did not stop for a lot more reasons than blisters, for one I was freaked out, being in this small, younger body feeing how it is so different from the small mussels I now have, and how my teeth now feel and taste's different, and my now long hair, and my small/big eyes for my now small head and everything now feels different.
And the other main thing is that there are car wrecks all along the road and I saw a couple of body's not moving in some of them, what I did not want to be near, of think of then. and even now it gives me shivers thinking they are dead, and could be my brother or dad!
So, I kept on going even when my small leg started to really hurt, with the small mussels in my new legs cramping up, I just wanted to be with my family again, and see that they are safe!
And when I finely got back I saw that the cars where gone and the cabin seemed empty before I went in, and I did think on the way from the town that there is a big chance that all of my family are now far away, but what if they where like me and swapped with someone close by or did not swap, or swap with another family member, what turned out did happen! with when I when in to the sitting room i saw my body sitting on the sofa, curled up crying.
And well it was my mom! And yes, it was as weird as it sounds seeing my own body from the outside and knowing it is my mom inside it!
But she was over them moon to know it was me in this small body, with her hugging me when she found out I was her son, and well with her in my body she is now more than a head taller than me, and well after, the hug and lots of talking, she told me how everyone else in the rest of my family's body's left, and how she is finding being in my body weird, and uncomfortable.
And well it has been 5 days from that day, yes it is still really weird seeing my body walking around and making me food, and acting like my mom with my mom being inside it, she even has to wear my clothes what now are the only ones that fit’s her, but she has been really worried for my brother “Jason” and dad with the phone lines still not working, what make’s some sense with the world being in chaos and have not seen or heard anyone around the cabin, what I don’t know is good or bad?
But me in this body is weird as well still, like writing this now, I have to move my hand so much more with them being a lot smaller now, and it is weird looking down at them seeing a completely different colour, and when I look at this body in all it’s glory it gave me the shivers knowing now im a completely different race, and how I look like a young, and small/skinny stranger as well now!
I would not say I like it but I guess I am more lucky than mom, with her having my body and I can tell she is struggling having to deal with being taller and being a male, having teen hormones seeing her fiddling with my old male parts, when we are sitting together, normal just scratching “it” or moving “it”, with her doing this thinking im not seeing it, and it just makes me think of two things, one grose, and two is that what I looked like when I did it in that body?
I want to say she can ask me if she wants to know anything about “it”, or my body, but it is already weird when we are in the same room with me only seeing my body instead of my middle age mom, and she finds it as strange with us struggling to talk in the morning's, not use to seeing my body in my old clothes looking just like me but knowing it is my mom, and probably she is not used to seeing me as an Mixed race 10 year old boy who is a stranger to her and knowing I am her son, and well am I anymore not being in the body she gave birth to anymore? But I am not going to get into that anytime soon.
Luckly in a sad way mentioning how I hope Jason and Dad is ok, and how she asks if I'm ok, and how happy she is that I made it back here, and how she dose not care that I am in a completely different body and race, and how we are going to get throw this and make this work, have made some of the awkwardness in the mornings go away, and let us relax a bit.
But it is still odd when she even speaks, hearing my voice, and how I reply in a much younger voice and I had a faint little accent, what I have no idea what accent it is, but it definitely came with this body, and I can tell she is finding this as hard as me, but trying to hide it from me, what just makes me feel sad wanting to help her like she has been helping me.
And well it has been like this for the last 5 days, I have been exploring and examining my new body what I don’t really want to go into any detail about in here, and I don’t really know what mom has been doing to my old body, what I am still finding it hard to think that it is hers now? And really not wanting to know, what she has been up to in my body when she goes to her room early for the last two nights! Saying she is tired, knowing that she is definitely not, with me knowing that body and when it would be tired.
And I have been having to wear my old shirts what is mostly a skirt on me, it made me actually laugh for the first time, trying on my favourite shirt, and it made mom go into a laughing fit, with that action (laughing fit) defiantly coming from my body, with mom never laughing like that in her life and that I use to laugh just like that.
It was kind of freaky seeing how it sounded and looked just like me with her laughing like me, and kind of annoyed me finding myself giggling like a little kid instead now.
But it made me happy seeing it made mom smile at me, a proper smile in my body, knowing the ones she has been giving me are forced with it being my body, and a person knows what there forced smiles look like, so I was happy, that my stupid now too big clothes made her happy, for a bit.
And well I could go on with lot of small things I could add to this, but I think this is much more than I normally do. And mom wants to play a bord game, I think she knows how she in my body is making me feel uncomfortable, and wants me to spend more time around her to get use to it, and I think she is trying to get use to the new me as well?
But I guess we will see what happens, and I'm hoping dad or Jason will show up any day now, but this is Luke now a 10 year old African American, boy sighing off.
PS: am I allowed to call myself African American now having a body what would be seen as African American? But I guess if not then.
this is Luke now just a 10 year old boy sighing off.