“Look, I just… I want to spend some time like this,” Nate ran his fingers through the goat fur on his thighs. The satyr let out a sheepish bleat, “Is there any way you can help me go around outside of my house? Maybe create a disguise for me? Or at least some pants?”
“Satyrs typically don’t wear much in the way of clothing sir,” Owen responded back.
“Well great,” Nate laughed nervously, “Can you make me a nudist then?”
“Of course sir,” Owen clearly didn’t catch the sarcasm.
“Really? Goat legs are one thing, but you can make me think like a satyr?” Nate clopped back over to the device.
Owen responded with surprisingly little braggadocio in his voice, “That’s what I was trying to tell you sir. I can trigger a variety of mental or reality changes if you’d like to remain on this form.”
“Let’s start with me before you mess with my neighbors,” Nate rubbed his furry ear, “Alright, time for some satyric sensibilities. Owen, make me a nudist.”
“Affirmative sir,” the device let out another beep. “Changes complete.”
Nate blinked, “Is that it?” He was expecting a little more out of the device than just a beep! Sure enough, the gadget’s screen just verified that the change was complete.
“Do you feel like wearing clothes sir?” Owen responded with a question of his own.
“I’m already dressed,” Nate replied curtly. The satyr blinked, “I mean….”
Nate looked down at himself. Moments before he felt a little flustered at only wearing just the weird little loin cloth he had asked for by accident. Now he felt… dressed? Not just dressed. Over dressed. Like he had just gone grocery shopping after a big church service.
He reached behind himself curiously and undid the knot holding up his loin cloth. Nate let it drift to the floor anticlimactically. He got a good view of the scruffy sheath he had only felt earlier. Beyond that though, he felt… fine?
Better than fine. The loin cloth was so constricting. This felt more natural. This felt right.
“Baah, wow, you’re right,” Nate rubbed his ear again, “I think that worked.”
Owen let out another synthetic laugh, “You’re standing on hooves and you didn’t think I could do a simple change like your clothing preferences sir?”
“Hey, this is all new for me,” Nate blushed. He picked up his loin cloth and went to go hang it up on the back of his front door. The little strap hadn’t existed until a few moments ago, but Nate could already feel himself adopting a habit of taking it off the second he got home.
“It doesn’t have to be,” the Chronivac quipped.
“Right right,” Nate picked the device back up, “Can you really just… Make it so I’m supposed to be like this?”
He wasn’t expecting the Chronivac to show another spinning indicator. It thought for a good while.
“Yes?” It responded back hesitantly, “I believe I can do that?”
“Baah? You’re not inspiring a ton of confidence here Owen,” Nate laughed nervously.
The device spun a bit more, “I’m attempting to discern what you mean by ‘supposed to be’?”
Nate blinked, “Not being screamed at would be a start. I just want to spend some time as a satyr with everyone thinking this is the way I always look.”
“Oh! Do you wish for this to be your default form?” Owen responded eagerly.
“Sure, if you want to be all technical about it? Isn’t that the same thing as what I said?” Nate ran his index finger along the base of his ear. Satyr-Nate apparently played with his ears a lot when he was thinking. “Let’s do this the right way. Owen, please display the list of your proposed changes onscreen.”
“Yes sir!” The device spin for a while longer as Owen thought.
Nate just stood there wagging. He eventually started using his free hand to explore the fur around his waist. He had always pictured satyr fur as just abruptly stopping at one’s waistline. Instead his fur slowly tapered off as it ran up his stomach. He had a nice little sensitive tuff over his belly button and-
“How does this look sir?” Owen finally spoke up.
Nate looked down at the screen curiously. On it were a surprisingly long bulleted lists of proposals. Several of them had a small “Pro” emblem next to them to let him know he was getting his money’s worth.
• Profile Update: Set user’s current form as default.
• Reality Alteration: Add mythical creatures to human society. (Rare, Appx 1/100.)
• Reality Alteration: Update user’s genealogy. (Father 100% Satyr, Mother 12% Dryad, 4% Nymph, 84% Human.) [Pro]
• Perception Filter: Current settings will be perceived as societal status quo for at least 5 generations. [Pro]
“Woah, you don’t mess around Owen!” Nate scrolled through the list, “You want to turn my dad into a satyr too!?”
“Do you have an alternate suggestion to make it expected for you to always have been a satyr?” Owen asked. “Updating one’s family tree is often the quickest way of applying changes with broad effects.”
“No, I just- He’s going to freak!” Nate wagged nervously.
“No he won’t. I’m adjusting reality. None of you will notice anything,” the Chronivac corrected him.
“By Pan’s- Owen! Add a perception filter so that I’m the only one who realizes these changes are occurring!” Nate went flush, “I want to notice the changes!”
The text on the screen updated to add, “Perception Filter: User is only entity aware of changes.”
“That better?” Owen chirped.
“Yes, thank you,” Nate rubbed his ear anxiously again, “This is a lot.”
“You asked for a lot. It’s currently not every day a satyr clops down the street,” the Chronivac noted. “This would change that.”
Nate looked down at the screen again. One in a hundred people suddenly having their ancestry changed overnight… it sounded like a lot. It also still sounded fairly rare? That would have been less than ten mythic kids in his entire high school growing up. Nate could just picture going through adolescence being the only satyr any of his classmates knew.
“Could you make mythical creatures a bit more common Owen?” Nate asked.
“Sure, please specify a ratio of humans to creatures,” the device responded.
Oh man. Nate felt his heart beat a little faster. He was officially going overboard.
“Let’s say…” How about at least mythic in every class he had growing up? One in thirty? Wait, no, that means he would have still always been the odd satyr out. Oh man oh man. Nate bit his lip, “One in ten?”
Nate braced himself for Owen’s objection. Instead the device simply deleted a zero from list of changes. It now read, “Reality Alteration: Add mythical creatures to society. (Common, Approx 1/10.)”
“Okay, what else?” Owen asked.
“That’s it?” Nate blinked.
The Chronivac spun for a second, “What’s it?”
“I thought you would make a bigger deal,” Nate bleated curiously.
“You’ve got a Chronivac 5 Pro subscription sir. This is well within my capabilities,” Owen replied. Nate almost picked up on a tone of satisfaction in the digital assistant’s voice.
“Baah, if you say so,” Nate started scanning the list again just to double check everything.
“You may want to sit down sir, reality shifts of this magnitude may cause dizziness in those that can perceive them,” the Chronivac suggested. Could it tell Nate was reading its screen?
• Profile Update: Set user’s current form as default.
• Reality Alteration: Add mythical creatures to society. (Common, Approx 1/10.)
• Reality Alteration: Update user’s genealogy. (Father 100% Satyr, Mother 12% Dryad, 4% Nymph, 84% Human.) [Pro]
• Perception Filter: Current settings will be perceived as societal status quo for at approximately 5 generations. [Pro]
• Perception Filter: User is only entity aware of changes.
Everything looked good to Nate. He plopped down on his sofa and hovered his finger over the “Apply” button. Then he stopped.
“Would you like to do the honors Owen?” He asked with a grin.
“With pleasure sir,” The Chronivac responded with a beep, “Applying changes now. Please wait.”
Owen’s voice became significantly more artificial sounding when he said that last part. A thinking icon appeared on the screen, finally followed up by a slowly filling progress bar. Despite his bragging, this was clearly taking Owen a decent amount of effort.
Nate expected to see parts of his room disappear, reappear, or shift as the Chronivac got to work. Instead, the satyr’s head just started to feel fuzzy. It was like he had drank a bit too much wine at a college bender. His eyes just refused to focus on the details of the room around him. He grabbed onto the arm of the sofa, trying to right himself.
The room wasn’t spinning. He was just… not able to take in the amount of changes swirling around him. Finally a small detail popped into view:
A can of his favorite hoof polish was sitting on his coffee table. He liked tending to his hooves while watching sitcoms after work.
His gym bag came back into focus. There was no longer a pair of shorts sticking out of the top. Instead a can of aerosolized deodorant was poking out of the side. He hated the stuff, but no one liked the smell of sweaty fur.
Nate let go of his head as the living room started to come back into focus. His DVD collection had been updated. One of his favorite shows to re-watch now had a different cover. The program featured a motley crew from all walks of life. He still recognized the human actors, but the crotchety old-timer character had been replaced by a dragon leaning down to join the group shot. The youngster with way too much energy was a hovering pixie in the center of the cover.
He got up and started walking over towards the bookshelf. Small details kept popping into focus as the room came fully back into view. Nate reached down and picked up a framed photo off the shelf.
It showed a family trip to leaf peep up north. His parents always loved the great outdoors. Nate’s mother looked just as he remembered her. Only… was her hair a touch green? She had a flower tucked behind her ear. Beside her, Nate and his dad were smiling for the camera. His dad’s legs had just as much fur as Nate currently found himself in. Neither satyr was wearing anything but a thick scarf and a big smile.
“Sweet Pan…” Nate’s face went red as he took on the magnitude of the changes. Memories kept bubbling to the back of his mind of life growing up as a satyr. Butting horns with his dad, his first bottle of wine, accidentally giving his first boyfriend hooves. A lifetime as a satyr caught up with him in a matter of moments.
He set the picture down as another beep came from the Chronivac, “Changes complete sir!”
“I’ll say!” Nate rubbed one of his horns, “You… you really outdid yourself!”
“It was a simple enough routine when you spelled everything out for me sir,” Owen sounded satisfied again as Nate flopped over and picked him up.
“I’m serious, this is incredible!” bleated Nate. The satyr couldn’t stop wagging. He reflexively gathered up his keys, wallet, phone, and the Chronivac into a small satchel. He clopped over to the door and begrudgingly put his loin cloth back on, “Come on, let’s go explore!”