Scott realized that the jig was up, or almost. The situation and the mission might be saved, if only he could create a distraction to draw Ryan’s attention away from Kai’s momentary slip out of character. Ryan’s raised eyebrow indicated only the hint of a suspicion, which might pass or might deepen. Attention and scrutiny on the potty-bound Hawaiian toddler would be potentially fatal, and so Scott took a chance.
“Hey Erneeeeeesto and Jacksonnnn! Come out come wherever you are, big bullies!” Scott yelled at the top of his voice, trying to egg on the two older boys, who had already shown themselves willing to humiliate Kai and threaten Scott. “You guys stink worse than Kai’s poopoo!” At this Kai began to protest but Scott shot him a quick glance and the 3-year-old fell silent before beginning to whimper and cry a bit.
Ernesto and Jackson came tearing up the stairs, chattering angrily between themselves and clearly having taken the bait.“Who you callin’ a bully, snotty Scottie?” sneered Jackson, his voice cracking. Scott, sensing an opportunity, doubled down and yelled, “I’m rubber and you’re glue, whatever you say bounces off ME and sticks to YOU!”
“Boys, boys!” cried Ryan, trying to control the situation. “Trying to protect Kai while he goes caca?” Yelled Ernesto, his 11-year-old hands balled into fists. Kai, realizing that this was his moment to distract Ryan completely from what had happened before, pushed down on the plastic training potty and closed his eyes, using his little muscles. Kai cried out, “Imma poopoo, see!” and suddenly his tiny bowels opened up and filled the receptacle beneath him. Kai giggled and clapped his hands, smiling and saying, “Ryan, Ryan, see? I diddit, I made a poopoo for you!”
The stench of toddler feces, strong and pungent, filled the room as Kai continued by tinkling into the training potty. “Good job, Kai!” said Ryan. “You’re really a big boy, going on the pott…” he said, but was suddenly interrupted. “GROSS!” screamed Jackson. “What a stinky butt!” yelled Ernesto.
“Boys, boys, behave yourselves!” warned Ryan. “Kai just did a big boy poopoo on the potty and Scott was making sure he is ok.” Scott peeked out from behind Ryan and stuck his tongue out and waggled his hands and figures on the side of his head at the two older boys. Ernesto and Jackson flew into the kind of rage that only boys experience, rushing at Scott and tackling him together. “Ry Ry, help! No, Ernie and Jackson you bad!” cried out Kai, jumping up while still peeing, his tiny button of a penis spraying urine everywhere.
“Boys, I said STOP!” yelled Ryan, pulling Ernesto and Jackson off Scott, crouched in a defensive position. The other boys were in such a fury against their common 8-year-old enemy that they didn’t stop and managed to land a hit on both Scott and then Ryan in turn. With a a pop Ryan’s jaw absorbed Ernesto’s fist and he saw stars and heard ringing in his ears. “That’s it!” He cried. “Ernesto and Jackson, go and face the corner while I take care of Kai and then all of us are going downstairs to let everyone know what happened here today!”
Ryan said softly, “Let me clear you up, little guy,” and lifted Kai off the potty while the little boy cooed and simultaneously managed a wink of complicity with Scott. Ryan laid Kai out on a changing pad, using wet wipes to clean his butt. Taking the toddler’s tiny penis between his thumb and forefinger, Ryan slid back Kai’s minuscule foreskin and cleaned it gently. With a dab of cream, Ryan massaged the soothing ointments between Kai’s baby buttocks and sprinkled talcum powder over his private parts. Kai was amazed at how relaxing and good it felt to be cleaned up and gently touched by Ryan, who clearly took his role as a big brother seriously and with great affection.
At that moment Scott walked up with some training pants in his hands. “Ryan, here are Kai Kai’s training pants. He’s a big boy now and uses the potty, so he don’t need diapers, just these.” Ryan took them from Scott and, giving him a kiss on the head, say, “Thanks, Scottie. You’ve been a big help here in the last few minutes and I won’t forget it when we go downstairs.” Ryan slid Kai’s legs into the training pants and pulled them with an “Alley-oop!” that made Kai explode in giggles. As he stood up he gave Ryan a big hug and said, “Tanks big bwother, I love you!”
Ryan gathered the three boys together, taking Kai in his arms as the 3-year-old sucked on his thumb as the other participants marched down the stairs ahead of their special guest big brother. Arriving back to now-familiar living room, somber music was playing over the stereo system while emojis of crying faces played across the big screens. “SO, RYAN, EVEN THOUGH WE’VE SEEN A LOT OF WHAT’S HAPPENED, WHAT HAVE THESE BOYS GOTTEN UP TO?” asked the invisible presenter. The cameras focused in on Ryan while keeping the boys in shot.
Ryan answered, “We were having a great time in the backyard when Kai had an accident and so I took him indoors to get him cleaned up. While he was being a big boy and using the potty, Scott came to check on him to see if he was alright.” The audience in the background uttered an audible “aww!” at the touching story of both Kai’s accident and his friend Scott coming to support him. “Then Ernesto and Jackson came tearing into the room, throwing insults and jumping on Scott.” The producer said sternly, “BOYS, WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELVES?” Before they could answer, Ryan continued, “The two older boys punched not only Scott but me as well. Fortunately neither one of us were hurt.” Ernesto and Jackson looked down at the ground, angry and embarrassed and afraid of what might come next.
“Kai was a big boy and used the potty and as soon as I got him cleaned up, thanks also to the help of Scott, we came down to let you know about this.” Ryan finished his speech and the suspenseful music ended with a silence that lasted for a moment. “WELL, BOYS, I’M SURE YOU KNOW THAT YOU’LL HAVE TO BE PUNISHED AS A RESULT OF THIS. WE LEAVE IT TO THE AUDIENCE TO DECIDE,” said the presenter.
A flurry of emojis representing smart phones, envelopes, and voting boxes flashed across the screen. The sound of a ticking countdown clock suddenly ended with the sound of an alarm bell. “ERNESTO AND JACKSON, COME FORWARD.” The two boys inched ahead, shaking slightly. “THE AUDIENCE HAS DECIDED. YOU TWO WILL NOW BECOME THE LITTLEST BOYS OF THE BUNCH AND BOTH OF YOU WILL LOSE FIVE YEARS OF AGE WHILE KAI AND SCOTT GAIN FIVE YEARS EACH.”
Ernesto and Jackson’s eyes welled with tears as they shrank in height and their bodies became even more boyish. This was especially evident in the case of Jackson, who at age 13 had previously just entered puberty. With a shiver their transformations ended and Ernesto found himself a 6-year-old kindergartner while Jackson was an 8-year-old pipsqueak. In the meantime, Kai shot up in height, his chubby toddler arms and legs becoming more lean. He was now nothing more than a boy about to celebrate his ninth birthday. “I’m 8 and 3/4!” specified Kai while the audience laughed at his earnest admission. In the meantime Scott grew taller and his muscles began to develop, his voice dropping as he entered puberty and ended up as a 15 year old adolescent with a bit of peach fuzz on his upper lip and acne on his cheeks.
His pants slipping down, Jackson wailed out loud, “The curlies I got back are gone!” Scott winked at him and said, “Don’t worry, Jacks, I got your curlies and then some!” pushing his hips out and showing off his new big boy parts. Kai ran to Scott and hugged him, crying out, “Thanks, Scottie, I couldn’t have done it without you!” The audience applauded, clearly enjoying this moment of good behavior being rewarded with bad behavior being punished.
“WELL, BOYS, I THINK IT’S TIME YOU WENT BACK TO YOUR ROOMS TO CHANGE INTO CLOTHES MORE ‘AGE APPROPRIATE,’ IF I MIGHT SAY. SPEND SOME TIME THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU’VE EACH DONE TODAY AND WE WILL CALL YOU BACK SOON TO SAY GOODBYE TO RYAN.”
As the boys were led off set, Ernesto and Jackson were kicking themselves in frustration and practically in tears. Kai and Scott smiled at one another and high-fived, realizing that they had recovered from an almost impossible predicament and had gained a bit more time… for the moment.