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in Chronivac Version 4.0 by anyone tagged as none

Chronivac Version 4.0

Jeff the Flathead

added by ShiftyGrad A month ago O Mental

Chuckling to himself, Jeff knows exactly what he wants to look up: flat earth conspiracies. Him and his friends make fun of flat earthers all the time. In fact, he'd even done a presentation debunking the idea in his geology class. If this worked though, he'd get to see how those morons truly thought, and maybe understand how they think. "Or...don't think," Jeff said with a laugh.

So, getting onto Google, Jeff typed in "Evidence proving that the earth is flat." Of course, the top articles were all debunking flat earth. Jeff clicked on one that looked promising, but the headline was just clickbait. It contained an interview with a physicist, who talked about arguing with flat earthers. Jeff skimmed it because it looked interesting, and as he did so, he saw an ad for Dunkin' Donuts, with the words "America runs on Dunkin'!"

Jeff felt that familiar tingle again, and his eyes went blank. "America runs on Dunkin'...that's true." Jeff muttered under his breath. New memories formed in his mind-everyone he knew went to Dunkin' donuts. At school, everybody ate Dunkin's, because it gave them the energy they needed. Jeff felt weird, because he hadn't been in a while. Maybe he should go today. The tingling stopped, and Jeff realized that those memories had been created by the Chronivac. His eyes went wide. It actually worked! Now excited, Jeff found an article espousing the truth of flat earth, and eagerly started reading.

The article began with "There is an overwhelming amount of evidence pointing toward a flat earth." Immediately, the tingling returned, but Jeff powered through it, reading the entire article. He muttered the whole time as what he read became fact to him. "So much evidence...ice wall...holographic planes..." This particular flat earther believed in Atlantis as well, saying they were killed by the round earthers for trying to spread the truth of flat earth. Jeff now remembered researching his genealogy to confirm his Atlantean ancestry. His memories of joking about flat earth were also altered; he had visions of him and his friends making fun of round earthers instead. He remembered giving a presentation about the validity of flat earth, and convincing his classmates of the truth. After he finished the article, the tingling stopped.

Jeff felt a bit embarrassed for not believing in flat earth before. "I mean, it's so obvious. How could I be standing if the earth was a ball? I'd fall off!" He knew that even after his changes reversed at the end of the week, he'd still believe in the truth. It made too much sense. His stomach rumbled, and Jeff realized he forgot to eat lunch. "Maybe I'll make a Dunkin' run."

Jeff walked downstairs, and saw his mother working on her laptop in the dining room. He said hello, and the two had a light conversation. While they were speaking, a plane flew past the bay window, and Jeff scoffed.

"Ridiculous. I can't believe the roundheads put this much effort into covering up the truth."

Jeff's mother looked at him, confused. "What do you mean, honey?"

"That plane. It's a hologram. They make these fake planes to continue selling the illusion that the earth isn't flat. It's disgraceful."

A look of concern came across Mom's face, before it went blank. She came to a second later, and shook her head. "Oh, I know! What do they have to gain by fooling everyone? It's up to people like us to keep up the good fight."

Jeff nodded, happy that his mom saw his point of view. "I'm going to Dunkin' Donuts, do you want to join me?"

Mom laughed. "Please honey, we're better than Dunkin'."

Now Jeff was confused. "What do you mean, Mom? Everyone goes to Dunkin', it's how we stay energized."

The blank look returned, but she quickly went back to normal. "Right, how could I forget? Let's go, I'm starving."

The two of them piled into the family car, and headed to Dunkin' Donuts. Whether they'd be any dumber when they got back remained to be seen...


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