Over in Osaka, Akari was flicking through the first chapter of her virtual novel on her phone. The pictures were very realistic. She just wished she was reading the story on a bigger screen. The premise of the story was: The year was 1510. Princess Jeff was travelling in a luxurious looking European medieval carriage. She was travelling through the English countryside to meet the King of England. With the Princess in the lead carriage was her lady in waiting, whilst the Japanese Ambassador and his clerks were in a following vehicle. They were escorted by 50 Samurai who looked splendid as they rode alongside the two carriages.
Akari realised the nonsensicality of the situation as England was on the other side of the world and there was no contact between the two kingdoms until centuries later. She decided to treat the story as a ‘What if?’ situation. How the Princess and her entourage had managed to get to England would remain a mystery.
Akari liked that the Princess was a bit mischievous. The 4th picture was of her looking out of the carriage at her escort. Whilst in the 5th picture, she was reprimanded for her uncouth behaviour by her Lady in waiting, whose name was Niwata.
At last Akari came to her list of choices for the 2nd Chapter.
She decided against options 2 and 3 as any bandits would be foolish to mess with 50 armed Samurai and Princesses did not get lost. She also dismissed the last suggestion, guessing it was a mistake in translation somehow. That left her to choose option 1 ‘Princess Jeff arrives at the Kings Court safely’
Jeff didn’t immediately know which option his/her reader had chosen. It appeared that as she was a princess, she was not allowed to look out of the carriage windows which seemed such a stupid rule. However she had to go with the flow, so had to amuse herself with what was inside the carriage. There was a trunk on the seat beside Niwata and Jeff asked the woman “What’s in that trunk?”
“Your jewels. You have 5 other trunks on the back of the carriage, which contain your clothes and other possessions”
Jeff eagerly opened the trunk to see what she now possessed. Amongst the items was a jewelled looking glass. With that Jeff was able to examine her reflection. She was in awe that looking back at her was a beautiful Japanese girl. She had flawless skin, big brown eyes and a petite nose. Her hair was done in some intricate fashion held together by multiple pins. Niwata warned her against fiddling with the pins. Also, in the trunk were multiple pieces of gold and silver jewellery, which must have been worth a fortune and supply of silk scarves elaborately embroidered.
Whilst Jeff was examining her possessions, the carriage pulled to a halt. Someone, perhaps the driver, called from the outside “We are stopping at an inn for lunch and to give the horses a break. Does her highness wish to use the amenities?”
Jeff glanced at Niwata “What should I answer?”
“You are the Princess. I shall answer not you” the Lady in waiting replied, before sticking her head through the curtain and addressing whoever was outside “Very well. Instruct the proprietors to ready a rest room for her highness. Make sure any locals are relocated”
Jeff had to wait 5 more minutes before she was allowed to exit the carriage.
Jeff alighted with the help of one of the Samurai. She saw the rest of the warriors lined up as a guard of honour with their heads bowed. She looked towards a stone building and saw some English people who she assumed was the innkeeper and his staff. They were also bowing to her.
Jeff also came to understand what she was wearing. It was a long gold dress, seemingly silk with multiple layers. There was very fine embroidery all over the outfit. It was long sleeved, with the sleeves hanging down almost like a cape. Jeff seemed to instinctively know it was called a furisode. It definately wasn't the sort of outfit you could jog in.
It turned out the man who had helped Jeff alight from the carriage was the ambassador. He led her towards the inn, a wooden building of two storys. The innkeeper said something completely unintelligible to Jeff. The Ambassador replied in the same language before telling Jeff. “The inn is now completely at your disposal. This woman will show you to a room where you may rest and clean up”
A middle aged woman whom Jeff guessed might have been the innkeepers wife led her and Niwata inside. They were shown up some stairs to what Jeff had assume was their best room. The woman gestured towards a bed and a chair. Her language was also unintelligible to Jeff, but Niwata seemed to understand her. Niwata translated “She says you are free to make use of anything in the room. The chair contains a chamber-pot under the cushion. She says they are honoured that royalty are visiting their humble establishment” The woman bowed before leaving the room.
“What language was she speaking? Is that Gaelic?”
“They are speaking English”
“English? I didn’t understand a word”
“That is because in this story you only speak Japanese. That is the language we are currently conversing in”
“I’m speaking in Japanese?”
“Yes your highness. Would you care to use the chamber pot first? I am bursting to use it myself”
“But you are an AI?”
“An AI who has constructed herself a fully functioning human body. Please make use of the pot. It would be uncouth of me to use it before you”
“Umm… Very well…. I suppose so” Jeff probably did need to urinate. Her bladder felt full. However, she was apprehensive about how she should do ‘It’. Then she recalled Niwata was just an AI. “How do I do it? I’ve never been female before”
“My files suggest that you should remove the cushion over the pot. Hitch up your skirts and drop your fundoshi. Then sit down and it should come out. For your information I have never urinated as a human of either sex before”
“Hmm…” Jeff did as she was told. Her dress had multiple layers but underneath was a very simple silk cloth that resembled underpants. It was embarrassing to sit on the pot, with her silk skirts hitched up and with Niwata watching her. Jeff had to keep reminding herself that Niwata was just a computer, not a real person.
Eventually Jeff’s urine came in a rush, making what seemed a very loud noise. She flushed with embarrassment, as Niwata was hovering nearby. The lady in waiting handed her a soft cloth when the urine stream stopped “Shall I wipe you, your Highness?"
"I'll do it myself" Jeff replied snatching the cloth. Computer or not no-one was going to wipe her private parts. Jeff did exactly that, catching a brief glimpse of her new groin. It was flat with a few short pubes. If she was alone she might have examined herself more fully but with Niwata hovering she did what she needed to do, pulled her underwear back up, then let her skirts drop.
Niwata removed the pot from the chair. Dropped its contents out a window then set about using it herself.
“Is that hygienic?” Jeff asked the AI.
“I believe it is standard practice in medieval times. I will endeavour to defecate myself. If I am successful I will get a housemaid to remove the waste”
Jeff was a bit embarrassed once more as Niwata farted into the chamber pot and was apparently successful in defecating. The AI woman seemed very pleased with herself. “Well that is something completely new for me. How exciting!”
With their abolitions completed ,Niwata fussed around with Jeff’s dress until she was satisfied that Jeff once more looked like a princess. There was a knock on the door and a man’s voice said that the meal was prepared. Niwata opened the door. It was the ambassador, who bowed to Jeff and said. “If you will accompany me your highness, your repast is ready”
Jeff was only slightly hungry but was eager to see more of the medieval inn. She and Niwata followed the Ambassador downstairs to the main room, which had been cleared of any other patrons. Only 4 samurai were present along with the innkeeper and the woman who had showed them to the bedroom. All bowed solemnly as she entered.
Lunch was sushi. Niwata told Jeff, that the ambassadors cook had prepared it in the inn’s kitchens according to the royal recipe. Jeff was not usually a fan of sushi but this was actually quite tasty.
Jeff asked “How long until we meet King Henry?”
The Ambassador answered. Jeff did not know his actual name “We should be there before nightfall your Highness. I have been told an English welcoming party will meet us at the next crossroads and escort us to the castle. An English style feast has been arranged for your welcome”
“English style?”
“Yes, the barbarians are very fond of red meat. Expect beef and venison. It would be impolite not to partake”
Usually Jeff would have preferred beef to sushi, but now he was not so sure. She now addressed Niwata. “I would wish to be able to understand English. Why is it that I can only speak Japanese?”
Niwata waved her hand and time appeared to stop. The innkeeper who was clearing the table stopped in his tracks, apparently frozen in time. “It is the will of the reader that you are a Japanese Princess. You would not have learnt English in your studies. Never mind though. I will be your constant companion and translator. The Ambassador will also be able to translate for you”
“Can’t you just make me able to understand it? I mean I could speak English perfectly well earlier”
“I cannot make changes unless it is requested by the reader”
“Well put that as an option at the bottom of the page please. And by the way, how am I meant to address the ambassador?”
“You should address him as Lord Fujiwara” Niwata then flicked her fingers once more and time recommenced.
“What was that your highness? You would like to learn the barbarian tongue?” continued Lord Fujiwara. “It will take time but I will see that the best tutors will be available to you. Is Lady Niwata’s understanding of the foreign tongue unsatisfactory?”
“No Lady Niwata is a good translator. I would just wish to understand what these people are saying myself”
“I will see to it your highness”