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Mad Science

Happy 8th Birthday, Animalia...

added by makutamon990 3 hours ago O

Animalia's 8th birthday celebration began in the evening of the day before because there were some people who wanted to celebrate Animalia's birthday more... intimately than others. Of course, no birthday would be complete without present/gift giving, as well as a massive cake.

---

One of the gifts Animalia was giving as a whole were a few maps/dioramas of the new Animalia Colonies, including New Patagonia in Argentina, Gondwana Land in Africa, and Ishinoha Island in "Heiya Prefecture". These dioramas also included QR codes that could be scanned to watch videos about certain areas.

For example, the QR code near the planned Turtle Prince's Palace showed that, while the "ground floor" would still be the planned indoor marketplace/"prehistoric mall", the basement "expansion" would be where the casino and strip club would be, mainly to prevent it from being accessed by minors.

While the QR code near Gondwana Land showed a video of how the super-seam of gold had been discovered during initial surveys of the land where the Dinotopian colony would be placed. Said video also included a number of myths and superstitions surrounding gold and the truth behind said myths, such as how, in ancient days, some people would actually consume pure gold, thinking that it would be capable of healing/purifying them, and how, in this modern era, 'edible gold' had to be 23-24 karats in order to be safe enough to consume.

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Another place where Birthday celebrations were being had was at Ao Guang Island, where the most noticeable Animalians were the Yin Yang Twins (due to their height) and "Ria" (due to her muscular body, and electric blue, dyed fur, (but, fortunately, no flank tattoos or rainbow-colored mane and tail, thank goodness)). Fortunately, Mikey was more focused on the food and the Beachway games, so he wasn't exposed to too much.

However, due to the Streisand Effect, and also partly due to China's current financial situation, there were more and more elderly people (and not just elderly women) coming to Ao Guang Island as part of Project Phoenix, and the Chinese government had bowed to the inevitable and stopped trying to suppress information about it.

---

Speaking of finance, Jinxing was able to explain a little more about the cryptocurrency scam factory that had been busted recently, though most of the details remained classified for the time being.

"The 'factory' wasn't about data mining for fake money," she said, "it's actually more like trying to scam people out of their fake money using various means, such as the 'long-distance-romance' scheme, the 'fake-natural-disaster' scheme, or (most recently) the 'pandemic-cure-research-needs-funding' scheme."

---

Sometimes, gifts weren't physical ones, like toys or games. Case in point, when Angie brought Slick back home with her, he was almost immediately taken in by the BARA House, though they reassured her that they didn't mean any harm, and Angie did admit that Slick's developing musculature was turning her on a little bit, and they were helping him with his speech therapy classes

---

While Abby and Samson were a little miffed that their honeymoon on Aeaea was crashed by an Animalia Ambassadoria request, they did enjoy that they were going to be the first customers for Aeaea's new health spa: the Temple of Asclepius (which included a notice by the front gates that a health spa is no replacement or alternative for real medical care). They also got to do a brief interview with Asclepius, himself (or, more accurately, the actor who played him in When Worlds Collide...).

"So, how did you get involved with medicine?" asked Abby.

"I started off as the bastard son of Apollo," answered Asclepius, "but I was mainly raised by the centaurs. Not the lusty party animals that went to war with the Lapiths, these were noble centaurs, who taught me science and medicine. I eventually became so adept in the medical arts that it was rumored that I could raise the dead."

"And can you?" asked Samson.

"I only did it once," said Asclepius, matter-of-factly, "never thought Hades would get so bent out of shape over it."

"What happened?" asked Abby.

"To give you the quick and dirty version," replied Asclepius, "Someone accused Theseus' son Hippolytus of a crime he had not committed, and Theseus asked his father, Poseidon, to rectify this. Later, Artemis requested me to bring him back to live and was able to provide an ironclad alibi for Hippolytus: he couldn't have committed the crime he was accused of because he was one of Artemis' priests."

"So, what are you doing now?" asked Abby as the interview wrapped up.

"Right now, I'm doing research on the medical properties of the Athelas plant." answered Asclepius.

"'Athelas'?" asked Samson.

"Kingsfoil." replied Asclepius.

"But I thought Kingsfoil was just another weed to feed to livestock." responded Abby, solely for the viewers.

"Whoever labeled it as such clearly didn't think it through properly because Kingsfoil is actually one of the few, naturally growing, plants that can counteract evil magics such as Morgul curses." Said Asclepius, shaking his head at how stupid some people can be when classifying plants or animals.

---

With two years left to go before the big 10 year, everyone was looking forward to the next two years with mixed feelings, especially since the ex-hypocrite-in-chief (as he was known to Animalia) was making a bid for a second, non-consecutive term, even in light of the assassination attempt on him.


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