No matter how much she tried to tell herself otherwise, Lisa was unable to accept she shouldn’t be punished for what she did to her sibling. True, she was unable to remember who they were, let along their name and whether they had been a brother or sister, and had only the information stored on the Chronivac to remind her of what she’d done, and what she intended to do once she was able to find Nikki, the beagle her memories insisted the family had bought as a puppy.
Back and forth, she flipped from telling herself it wasn’t her fault Nikki had run away, and her choice to do so had nothing to do with how Lisa had used the software to turn her brother or sister into a bitch, to telling herself, in some way, it was her fault. She’d forced a change upon someone else, whether they wanted, or even deserved, it, and the outcome was for her mind, and the reality around her, to be altered so she was unable to recall anything about them, short of the occasional brief flash or a strange dream now and again. Conflicted as to which was right and which was wrong, the stress of it all began to eat at her until her mother and father started to first ask if she was all right, then outright worry something was the matter and ask each other questions in hushed conversations who they should send their daughter to see, which Lisa managed to catch snippets of.
She wanted to tell her them why she was behaving the way she was, but didn’t think it would go over very well. Much the way it didn’t sit with her she had forced her brother to become a female beagle. For she was sure if she had done what she felt she had, it had been to a someone male, and they had been her brother. What she couldn’t figure out was why she had done it, nor why she had decided, when she found Nikki, she’d turn them back into a human, but make them her sister. Seeing she must have a good reason, as the profile was on the software, she closed and locked the programme, and tried to her best to ignore it, put the matter from her mind.
But this was easier said than done she discovered. Day after day, the guilt she felt festered, as did the questions she was unable to stop herself from asking herself. When she had her twelfth birthday, a day supposed to be one of celebration, she begged off from most of what her mom and dad planned, stating she didn’t feel well, even going so far as to agree with her mother it was because her body was starting its change from girlhood to womanhood. Summer giving way to autumn, and she started seventh grade, a day she’d been looking forward to, as it meant she no longer had to go to the local elementary school and instead went to Junior High, which to her meant she was no longer a little child. But as the first day rolled around, she found there was no enjoyment, and the whole day drifted past in a blur, as she was too consumed by what she believed she had done, how it now seemed wrong, as well as the way she felt she ought to be punished.
The problem she saw with this was, if she did deserve some sort of punishment, she didn’t know how best to carry it out. Asking herself one day, “If someone made someone else be something they did not want, or not in the way they wanted, what is the best way for them to discipline themselves?” she tried to work what the best way to carry out such a measure would be.
Her mind going back to the Chronivac, and despite her misgivings, she toyed with the notion it might hold the key to some sort answer. Thinking of Nikki, who hadn’t been seen in almost a year, hadn’t turned up at the humane shelter, or been seen by any the neighbours, nor reported via the posters Lisa had put up, she mulled over the fragments she had telling her the dog wasn’t actually a dog, nor female, but was at one time her brother. Hating herself more and more as she was consumed by the idea she’d stole their humanity from them, even as she tried to convince herself, unsuccessfully, she was missing details, such as maybe they’d wanted to, it soon became too much for her to deal with. Booting up her computer, unlocking the programme, she scanned herself into the software and feeling she was doing the right thing, she started to tinker with her profile.
First thing she saw to do was to change her species. Feeling certain she had made her brother become a dog, the most logical thing was for her to make herself a dog also. Scrolling through the options, she settled on pure-bred beagle, thinking this was the fair thing to do. Next, she flipped back and forth between leaving the sex and gender as female or make it male, and in the end settled on becoming a son of a bitch, with the first metamorphous her body would undergo was the development of a set of canine testicles, scrotum, penis, and sheath. Setting the change for a slow one, she also kept the pain low, understanding by doing this, it upped how sexually turned she’d become each time she experienced any of the transformation.
With a series of clicks, she set the max age to match Nikki’s, the max height and weight so she’d be slightly bigger than the female, only she being aware, a timer for three years, with the option set of nobody questioning where she’d gone, as they either offered an excuse or simply accepted she wasn’t around at the moment, but would be soon, the option of, if she ever did run into Nikki, they wouldn’t know who the other was, with the female having a compelling urge to travel home with the male, and the final setting as whilst she was a canine, she would never have been related to her mother, father, or her sibling. Finishing, she sat back to stare at the screen and all she’d created. Worrying her lip, she re-read the information on the screen, how, once the change was complete, she’d be a male beagle name Cooper, she’d never have any health problems, short of a minor case of arthritis if she remained and aged toward her elder years, she’d be house broken, would have no inclination to climb on the furniture, as well as stay out of select rooms, and her mind would be fully beagle, albeit smart as well as sentient. Feeling satisfied with what she saw, she still was unable to bring herself to hit the confirm button.
“Why do I hesitate?” she wondered aloud as she continued to stare at the screen, then leaned forward to shift the first change so it’d occur the instant she hit the execute command.
Satisfied with everything she saw, she worried her lip a little longer before she told herself, “Might as well get this over with,” and still feeling positive in her decision, as well as her need to be punished, Lisa glanced down at Nikki’s collar, reached out, dragged the mouse pointer down, saved, then doubled clicked on the button to accept the new profile.