"Hey everyone, and welcome to a new episode of Animalia Ambassadoria." said Miles, starting the latest episode. "Well, summer vacation is nearly over and school's almost ready to start up again." At that, there were many, overly dramatized, clips of people shouting/screaming in denial. "But to help lessen that burden, here are some of the funniest things from this summer."
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"From Mieni Atoll to Ao Guang Island," said Miles, setting the clips up, "There are plenty of people, Animalians included, who are trying to get cute/sexy pics/videos next to the sea, but the gods of the sea seem to know this, judging by clips like this." Then the clips started rolling, showing cute girls, including Animalians, posing on the beach, only to get washed out shortly afterwards, with some obviously leading to ruined phones.
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"Of course, one thing that this summer has revealed to others is RHS, specifically to the Chinese government." Said Miles, after a commercial break. "While initially they tried to hide it due to Dixie and Ria developing it, they have bowed to the inevitable and renamed the project from Project Lotus Foot to Project Lotus Blossoms. One of their first converts was a 90+ old man (since Chinese were notoriously long-lived) who had, whether accidentally or intentionally, had selected a Komodo dragon for his conversion." At that, there were several clips, from nature documentaries and elsewhere, about Komodo dragons and what they were capable of, including a, relatively, new discovery that Komodo Dragons were actually prehistoric Megalania suffering from 'island dwarfism'. "While he ended up slightly smaller/slimmer than Joshua, Frat Boy Syndrome (as the male version of RHS is unofficially called) began hitting him hard. For one unexpected twist, he not only kept, and regrew, his hair, but it remained white, leading to a resemblance to "modern" anthropomorphic Lung dragons."
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After another commercial break, Miles did a brief story on a really surprising thing. Even he was visibly surprised about it.
"When summer vacation ends, some people like to celebrate it with one final hoorah before the 'shackles' of the school year are 'clapped on', metaphorically speaking, and Ao Guang Island is doing this with their, and this is a rough translation of the name, 'Retreat to Beat the Heat'. Despite what some people on the internet may claim, this is only open to Chinese, Japanese, and Korean people between 30 and 60 years old." At that, there was a lot of complaining, mainly from internet "activists", but these seemed to show that such people have no idea what they're talking about. "What is also clear is that, judging from what Ao Guang Island has shown me, roughly 25-40% of the women are from bloodlines that have been, *ahem*, cursed by ushi-oni, for lack of a better term." At that, there were so many lewd comments on 'big-busted Asians' that these were eventually hit with 'horny jail/bonk' memes just to get them to shut up, with various forms of effectiveness. Of course, that was without Miles mentioning that the "Retreat" was also going to be Animalia's second official "conversion orgy".
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"Speaking of the school year, one of the most anticipated things to see is the rivalry between Ninja and Samurai Prep, since Ninja Prep is going to be officially opening this year." Reported Miles, much to the cliched responses in the comments. "But before you get your hopes up, this is most likely to be more like realistic rivalries between high schools, in sports events or otherwise, rather than what is portrayed in anime and manga." At that, several commentors clearly 'deflated' with disappointment.
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"Finally, be sure to visit the Animalia website to see the official comparisons between Olympic Athletes and Amateur Animalian Athletes." Said Miles, as the episode drew to a close. "And remember, even if you're really, really good at something, you can still mess up." As proof, Miles showed a clip of one guy clearly getting ready to show off some martial arts moves, and accidentally hitting his funny bone on the trash can behind him.