With their hair styled in matching buns and makeup done, Jesse and Sam had some time to kill before they needed to leave for school. Sam plopped down on Jesse’s bed, legs stretched out as he grabbed his phone. Jesse, feeling the weight of his unfamiliar morning, slowly sat down next to him. His thoughts were racing, and despite the distraction of their earlier conversation, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he was still missing so much.
Jesse pulled out his phone, staring at the lock screen for a second before unlocking it. The flood of messages he’d been ignoring popped up immediately—group chats, individual messages, and notifications from social media accounts he barely recognized. The sheer volume of it all made his stomach turn. It was like looking at someone else’s life through a screen.
"Hey, uh… Sam?" Jesse began, his voice quieter than usual. "Can you help me with something?"
Sam glanced over, putting his own phone down. "What’s up?"
Jesse hesitated, unsure of how to phrase it without sounding completely lost. "I kinda… I’ve been ignoring my messages for a bit. And now I don’t know how to reply without it being weird. You know, with my friends."
Sam raised an eyebrow, confused at first but quickly nodded, seemingly piecing together what Jesse was asking. "Oh, yeah, you’ve been kinda off with everyone lately. They probably just think you’re busy, no big deal." He scooted closer, peering over at Jesse’s phone. "Let’s see who we’ve got."
Reluctantly, Jesse handed the phone over. Sam immediately scrolled through the endless list of chats, pointing out names that meant little to Jesse but apparently were part of his everyday life now—Ashley, Vanessa, Abby, all cheer squad members. When Sam opened one of the group chats, titled Cheer Fam 💕, Jesse’s heart sank. Inside were strings of conversations about the latest cheer drama, gossip about people Jesse didn’t know, and casual banter that included inside jokes he didn’t understand.
"Here." Sam said, fingers flying across the screen as he started to type out a reply. "Just say you’ve been swamped with family stuff and homework. That’s believable enough, right?"
Jesse nodded, watching as Sam crafted a response.
Sorry I’ve been MIA! Super busy with family and school stuff, but I’m back! See you all at school 💖
Sam sent the message and handed the phone back with a reassuring smile. "See? Easy. Now they’ll just think you’ve been caught up with the usual."
Jesse exhaled in relief as he grabbed his phone back, but his nerves spiked again when he saw the personal messages waiting for him. One, in particular, caught his attention. Someone named Caylee had sent him a screenshot of a song on Spotify, followed by a text: This one reminded me of you. Miss uuuu! Let’s hang soon? Jesse stared at the message, his mind spinning.
"Who’s Caylee?" he asked, feeling the edges of panic rise again.
Sam laughed softly. “Dude, Caylee’s like one of your best friends. You’ve known him forever. You guys go way back, like, before high school. He’s super cool and chill. You should probably reply to that, though.”
Jesse, feeling out of place but wanting to follow Sam’s lead, typed out a response under Sam’s guidance: Aww, I love it! Let’s hang soon for sure! Miss you too, boy! 💖
Jesse barely had time to catch his breath when Sam smirked, his fingers scrolling further through Jesse’s messages. "Ooooh, look who’s been flirting." Sam teased, nudging Jesse playfully. "Tyler’s been trying to get your attention!"
Jesse’s stomach dropped. "Wait… Tyler?" He had no idea who this person was.
Sam tapped on the message thread, revealing a string of texts between Jesse and Tyler that Jesse couldn’t recall ever sending. It was obvious they’d been flirting, and Jesse’s heart raced as he read the last message from Tyler: Hey, you still coming to my bonfire after the game Friday?
Before Jesse could even react, Sam was typing out a response, grinning as he did so. Definitely! Wouldn’t miss it 😘
The message sent before Jesse could stop him. The panic settled into a heavy knot in his stomach as he realized just how deep he was sinking into this life he didn’t recognize.
"Relax, Jess." Sam said, noticing the tension in Jesse’s shoulders. "Tyler’s cool. You’ve been into her for a while now, and she’s totally into you. Just go with it.”
Jesse forced a smile, nodding even though every part of him felt like he was spiraling. He barely knew these people, and the idea of pretending he did was terrifying. But with Sam’s help, at least he could fake it for a little while longer.
Jesse’s phone buzzed again. A boy named Ashley had replied in the group chat: Glad you’re back, babe! See you at school!!
The messages were coming in quickly, but to Jesse, it felt like everything was happening in slow motion. It was clear this version of him had deep connections with people he didn’t know at all. He couldn’t help but wonder how long he could keep up the charade.
Sam jumped off the bed, stretching as he glanced at the time. "Alright, let’s get going." he said cheerfully.
Jesse stood up, ready to grab his backpack and follow Sam, but he hesitated when he realized what shoes he had to wear. His eyes fell to his bare feet. The sight of his pink pedicured toes made his stomach flip. He couldn’t stand the thought of wearing sandals again, exposing his feet like yesterday. The sandals had made him feel so vulnerable, as if they highlighted the femininity he was still grappling with.
He started rummaging through his closet, his movements becoming more frantic as he searched for something—anything—that would make him feel less exposed. Sneakers, boots, anything to hide his feet. But every pair he found was some version of a girly shoe—pink-colored trainers, glittery slip-ons, dainty flats, or knee-high boots with a feminine flair. He groaned, his frustration bubbling up.
Sam noticed his struggle. "What’s up?" he asked, raising an eyebrow as he watched Jesse pull out pair after pair and toss them aside.
"I’m not wearing sandals again." Jesse replied sharply, continuing his search. His heart raced as his options dwindled.
Sam tilted his head, puzzled. "But you love your Birks! You literally wore them all summer.”
Jesse ignored him, digging deeper into the closet until his fingers grazed something more promising—a pair of white Converse. They were plain enough—no flashy colors, no sparkles—just simple white canvas shoes. They weren’t exactly his style, but they were the least girly thing in the closet, and that was all that mattered.
“I’ll wear these.” Jesse muttered, pulling them out with relief.
Sam chuckled, clearly amused by Jesse’s determination. “Whatever makes you happy.”
Jesse didn’t respond, choosing instead to move to his sock drawer. As soon as he opened it, he was greeted by a chaotic mix of colors and patterns. Socks in every bright hue imaginable spilled out, most with cute little designs like hearts, stars, and polka dots. The mess was a far cry from the plain, dark socks he was used to in his old life. He sifted through them, trying to find a matching pair, but it was useless. Nothing matched.
"Ugh, seriously?" Jesse groaned, giving up and grabbing two random socks. One was neon green, and the other was striped in shades of blue. He grimaced as he slid them on, feeling like a walking contradiction. Then, he laced up the Converse, trying to focus on the small victory of not wearing sandals.
With the shoes on, Jesse stood up, feeling slightly more grounded. The Converse weren’t perfect, but at least he didn’t feel as exposed. He could manage this, for now.
“Ready to go?” Sam asked, standing by the bedroom door.
"Yeah." Jesse replied with a small, forced smile. He grabbed his backpack and followed Sam downstairs.
As they entered the kitchen, Jesse saw his dad wiping down the countertops. The sight still jarred him—his father’s shorter frame, long hair tied back in a neat ponytail, and the floral blouse that fit right in with this new reality. It was such a stark contrast to the man Jesse had once known, the dad who wore button-up shirts and looked more at home tinkering in the garage than doing household chores. Yet here he was, smiling warmly, completely oblivious to the turmoil brewing inside Jesse.
"Morning, Jess. You and Sam ready for school?" his dad asked cheerfully.
"Yeah." Jesse mumbled, his eyes flicking to the floor. He couldn’t meet his father’s gaze. The normalcy in his dad’s tone, the casual way he moved about the kitchen in this new form, only made the dissonance Jesse felt grow stronger.
In the living room, Sophia sat on the couch, eating cereal and watching cartoons. Jesse’s eyes immediately locked onto the sparkling "Boy Power" t-shirt Sophia was wearing. The sight made Jesse cringe, the slogan twisting in his mind like some bizarre parody of what he used to know. Everything here felt so upside down, and that shirt only served to remind him of how much his world had shifted.
He tried to brush it off as he headed toward the door. Sam was already waiting outside, glancing back at him with a patient smile.
"Ready?" Sam asked.
Jesse nodded, though he felt anything but. School was waiting for him—another hurdle in this strange new life that didn’t feel like his own. As he stepped outside, the creeping anxiety inside him grew stronger, the day ahead looming like a storm he wasn’t prepared to face.