In the car, Sam fiddled with the radio, humming along to some pop song Jesse barely recognized. As they pulled out of Jesse’s driveway, Sam glanced over. “So, Starbucks? We’ve got time.” he suggested with a cheerful grin.
Jesse’s stomach twisted. He didn’t really want Starbucks. He didn’t want to pretend to enjoy whatever sugary drink the version of him in this reality would probably order. But deep down, Jesse knew that if he was going to survive today—if he was going to somehow navigate this new life—he had to start acting like the version of himself that everyone expected.
“Uh, yeah, sure. Let’s stop by.” Jesse said, forcing a smile, though he didn’t feel it. The words felt foreign coming out of his mouth, but Sam didn’t seem to notice.
As they pulled up to a red light, Jesse felt the weight of the awkwardness in the car. His thoughts spun, and before he could talk himself out of it, he pulled out his phone, determined to keep up appearances. If he wanted people to believe he was still the same Jesse, or Jess, he had to act like it.
Taking a deep breath, Jesse forced himself to lean in toward Sam, holding up his phone. “Let’s take a selfie.” he said, his voice a little more upbeat than he actually felt.
Sam looked surprised but smiled quickly, leaning in and throwing up a peace sign. “Okay, Jess, I see you!” he laughed, clearly pleased by the sudden enthusiasm.
Jesse snapped the photo, glancing at it for a moment. There they were—him and Sam, hair in matching buns, both with freshly done makeup. It felt surreal, like he was looking at someone else’s life through the lens of the camera.
He stared at the blank caption box, his mind racing. What would the Jesse from this reality say? He hesitated before remembering something Sam had said earlier. He typed out a single word: twinning. It felt simple enough, like something the “normal” him would write.
Before he could second-guess himself, he put a few heart emojis around it for good measure and added it to his Snapchat story, and then, in a moment of boldness, he sent it to a few friends from his contact list—Abby, Vanessa, Caylee. His heart raced as he hit send, trying to convince himself that this was just what he had to do. If he acted normal, maybe people wouldn’t notice how lost he truly felt.
Sam glanced over at his phone when the notification popped up. “Oh snap! You really posted it, huh?” he said with a grin, clearly impressed. “That’s my boy.” He gave Jesse a playful nudge, and Jesse smiled weakly in response, feeling the knot in his stomach tighten.
The light turned green, and Sam drove off, eventually pulling into the Starbucks drive-thru. Jesse stared out the window, pretending to be calm, even though he felt like he was slowly sinking into quicksand.
Jesse's phone continued to buzz as they pulled up to the window to grab their drinks. He glanced at it out of the corner of his eye, seeing more reactions from the snap he'd just posted—hearts, smiley faces, and you two are so cute! messages. Each notification tightened the knot in his chest. His friends were buying into the act, believing he was still this cheerful, outgoing version of himself. The disconnect felt sharper than ever.
Sam handed Jesse his drink with a wide grin. “Here you go! Your usual.” he said, clearly proud of remembering Jesse’s order.
Jesse looked down at the iced, caramel-colored drink with whipped cream and a drizzle of syrup. The sight of it made his stomach turn, but he forced himself to smile. “Thanks.” he muttered, taking a sip. The sugary sweetness hit his tongue, a far cry from the black coffee he used to drink. He almost grimaced but stopped himself, not wanting to ruin the illusion.
Sam took a sip of his own drink before glancing at the clock. “We’ve got time. Wanna just chill in the parking lot for a bit?”
Jesse nodded, trying to focus on anything other than the awkward feeling gnawing at him. They pulled into a spot and sat in the car, the morning sun casting long shadows through the windshield.
Sam, scrolling through his phone, casually commented, “Everyone loved your snap, by the way. You’re gonna be flooded with messages at school.”
Jesse forced a small laugh, even though the thought filled him with dread. “Yeah… guess so.”
He took another sip of his drink, each swallow making the sugary taste harder to bear. He kept his gaze fixed out the window, trying to ignore the mounting pressure in his chest. It was like he was caught in a never-ending cycle of pretending, and with each passing minute, it became harder to breathe under the weight of it all.
Sam leaned back in his seat, content and relaxed, completely oblivious to the storm brewing inside Jesse. "Hey, you good?" he asked after a moment, sensing the tension. "You seem kinda quiet."
"Yeah, I’m fine." Jesse lied, flashing a quick smile. "Just, uh… still waking up, I guess."
Sam gave him a knowing look but didn’t push further. “Alright, but if you need anything, just let me know. You know I’ve got your back, Jess.”
Jesse nodded, though the words felt hollow. They sat in silence for a while, sipping their drinks and scrolling through their phones. Jesse glanced down at his again, seeing more messages pop up from his friends. He clicked on one from Abby: “Aww, you two are too cute! 😍”
Jesse forced a smile as he sent back a quick, simple reply, trying to sound as upbeat and casual as possible. But with each response to his supposed friends, he felt like he was sinking deeper into something he couldn’t fully understand
“We should probably head out.” Sam said, checking the time. “Don’t want to be late.”
Jesse nodded, finishing the last sip of his drink before tossing it into the cupholder. As Sam started the car and pulled out of the parking lot, Jesse stared down at the cupholder, the faint remnants of lip gloss still on his cup.
His phone buzzed again, and he glanced at it, seeing a message from Tyler—the girl he supposedly had a crush on in this world. “Can’t wait to see you at school 😉”
Jesse’s breath caught in his throat. He didn’t know how to respond. He set his phone away, trying to focus on something else as he stared out the window.
As they neared the school, Jesse’s anxiety spiked. How was he going to handle the day? Everyone expected him to be the same bubbly, social Jesse they all knew. The Jesse who flirted with Tyler, hung out with Caylee, and effortlessly glided through his day. But that wasn’t him. He didn’t know how to be that person, and the thought of failing at it terrified him.
Sam pulled into the parking lot, oblivious to Jesse’s internal turmoil. The morning sun was bright, casting long shadows on the pavement as the students shuffled toward the school building. Jesse forced himself out of the car, gripping his drink in one hand and his phone in the other. Each step toward the entrance felt heavier than the last, the weight of this unfamiliar life pressing down on him.
As they neared the doors, Sam gave him a quick nudge. “Catch you later, Jess.” he said, flashing a quick smile before heading toward his own locker.
“Yeah… later.” Jesse replied, his voice barely audible.
Left alone, Jesse took a deep breath and stepped into the hallway. The usual hum of school filled the air, but to him, it felt warped—like everything was flipped in reverse. He passed by clusters of boys, their voices high-pitched with laughter as they chatted and scrolled through their phones. Their movements were fluid, expressive, and even flirtatious, with some wearing short shorts or tight tops that exposed more skin than he was used to seeing on boys. Delicate bracelets dangled from their wrists, and the occasional glint of earrings caught the light as they giggled and shared gossip.
Jesse’s mind reeled. In his old life, he’d seen girls act this way. But here, it was the boys who seemed carefree, bubbly, and openly emotional, while the girls took on a more reserved, confident demeanor. Groups of girls stood nearby, leaning against lockers with their arms crossed, discussing sports games, classwork, and weekend plans. Their voices were steady, their gestures minimal but assertive.
Jesse caught sight of a tall girl walking past with a basketball in her hands, her strides long and deliberate, her expression focused. She barely glanced at the group of boys who were openly admiring her, one even giving her a soft, shy smile. The contrast was jarring, like the world had been flipped on its axis. Jesse had never felt so out of place, even among familiar faces.
His chest tightened as he passed by groups of students, trying to blend in with the flow of everyone as best he could. His leggings clung to his legs, and the thong dug into his skin uncomfortably, each sensation reminding him of how different everything was. He kept his gaze down, avoiding eye contact, but it was impossible to ignore the sideways glances from some of the girls who passed by. They’d smile at him, their eyes lingering a little too long for comfort. Jesse’s face heated up, and he quickly turned the combination on his locker, hoping it would all just go away.
As he opened the locker door, he spotted a small mirror inside—something that definitely hadn’t been there in his old life. He stared at his reflection, the subtle makeup Sam had applied earlier now looking more pronounced under the harsh fluorescent lights of the school. His lashes were darker, his lips glossier, and despite his best efforts to keep things simple, the face staring back at him didn’t feel like his own.
A group of boys passed by, laughing and chatting loudly. One of them, with a streak of glitter in his hair and a bright pink shirt, called out to Jesse with a wave. “Hey, Jess! Love the shoes today!”
Jesse forced a smile, giving a quick nod before turning back to his locker. He didn't even know who that was, but in this world, it seemed everyone knew him. The attention only made him more uncomfortable.
As he grabbed his books for first period, his phone buzzed again. He pulled it out reluctantly, expecting more messages from his so-called friends or Tyler. But when he glanced at the screen, he froze. It was a notification from Instagram—someone had tagged him in a photo from the day before.
His heart raced as he opened the app, praying it wasn’t something that would draw more attention to him. It was a picture from one of the other cheerleaders, Courtney, taken at one of last week's games. The caption read: Squad goals! Love these babes 💖💪 #CheerFam #Besties.
In the picture, Jesse was in the middle of a pyramid formation, grinning brightly at the camera. His makeup was flawless, his hair in perfect curls, and his cheer uniform clung to him like it had always been a second skin. He looked confident, happy, completely at ease with his friends. It was a stark contrast to how he felt now, standing frozen in front of his locker, trying to hold back the rising wave of panic.
He quickly shut his phone, shoving it deep into his bag. He couldn't let himself spiral. Not here, not now. He had to keep it together.
“Hey, Jess!” A voice shouted from behind him.