Once the nurse left, you took the opportunity to examine your breasts. They felt different to earlier. Not that you were an expert about how it felt to have breasts, but they were now tingling. The hospital gown you were wearing easily folded back so you could see your breasts. Your now big pink nipples were engorged and it wasn’t from sexual excitement. They were leaking milk. The milk didn’t squirt out, but when you touched the nipples, beads of creamy white fluid formed. You touched a drop to your tongue and sure enough it tasted like cream. You realised you had an urge to get your breasts sucked.
Curious, your hand reached further down towards your groin. That part of your body felt very sore. Perhaps you sort of hoped that your penis and balls had reappeared but all you encountered was a something like a nappy. There was definitely no familiar bulge.
You felt a need to pee and once more tried to get out of the bed. You swung your legs over the edge but that caused a lot of pain. You were not sure if you had the energy to even stand up. Where was the toilet anyway? You had no idea.
Just then midwife Karen returned. She was pushing what appeared to be a crib on wheels, but when she saw you attempting do get out of bed she called out “Don’t! It’s too early!” and stopped you in your tracks.
Karen helped you swing your legs back into the bed. “Don’t even try to go to the toilet yet. It’s too soon for you. You have just given birth!”
“I’ll wet the bed. I need to go” Why had your voice suddenly changed? Why did you sound like a woman? You recalled at the party you sounded like your male self.
“You’re wearing post-partum underwear. If you need to go just do it and we will help. Don’t try and get out of bed. If you need a change just press that button and someone will help you”
Embarrassing as it was you pissed into your undies in front of the midwife. She then effectively gave you a nappy change as if it was an everyday occurrence, which to her it probably was. You caught a glimpse of the old nappy as the nurse removed it. It was blood stained.
When she had finished, she asked “Can I assume you have chosen to breastfeed?”
Even the mention of the baby made your breasts tingle. You definitely needed to be sucked. The answer was easy “Yes”
“Your little boy is sleeping at the moment, but he should wake soon”
You peered towards the crib the midwife had wheeled in. Was the baby in there? The nurse saw what you were looking at and wheeled the crib next to your bed so you could see. Sleeping was a bundle wrapped in a blanket. A tiny baby with just a small amount of brown hair showing. The sight of your son made your breasts tingle even more. He seemed so helpless. Was this love at first sight?
But then your senses kicked in. What crap! This baby wasn’t even real! Why should you have anything to do with it? You were not a woman! You were not a mother!
“He will wake soon. But while we are waiting how about I get some details” Karen had a pen poised over a sheet of paper “Do you have a name?”
You had been too busy fawning over the baby and hadn’t been listening properly. “Daniel” you replied. Giving your own name.
“That’s a lovely name. Is young Daniel named after anyone?”
You were embarrassed that the nurse assumed that was the name for the baby, not your own, but no doubt she expected you had a female name. You tried to think quickly “I’m Danny Jones”
The nurse wrote that down “Do you have an address? You were bought in by ambulance and have just been enrolled as Jane Doe”
“I’m doing a two week residential at College. Do you want my home address or where I am currently staying?”
“Home address would be best”
You gave your home address. Fortunately you were not a local. Very few people in this city knew you.
“Do you have a significant other?”
“No” you replied. You didn’t have a girlfriend.
“So shall I just leave the slot for father’s name as a blank?”
Father? Of course the nurse assumed the baby had a father. “I’m the father” you replied.
The nurse raised her eyebrows and wrote something down on the sheet of paper. Then you realised she must assume you were a butch lesbian who had decided to have a baby on her own.
“Is there anyone we need to contact? Family?”
That was a pertinent question. You did need help. You did need family support. But how would you explain to your parents that their son had just given birth to a healthy baby boy?
………………………
“Do you kow where my phone is?” you asked. You had woken in the hospital bed and had no idea of what had happened to any of your possessions. Last time you could recall the phone was at the party. You weren’t sure you wanted to use the phone though. If you contacted your mother what would you say?
“I’ll see if anything is in your wardrobe” said the midwife.
After a quick search she found nothing. Indeed the wardrobe was completely empty “I will see if I can find out where things might be. You arrive by ambulance I see. They may be somewhere else.
The conversation was disrupted by the cry of a new born baby. Your breasts tingled.
The midwife smiled at you. “Looks like Daniel has woken. Would you like a cuddle?”
Everything from thereon was just instincts. Karen picked up the baby and carefully placed him in your arms. Showing you how it should be held. You took the bundle carefully. The baby seemed to immediately sense where it was and almost immediately began to muzzle into your breasts which tingled in anticipation. You noticed wet patches on the gown over each nipple. Without asking the midwife pulled the top of your gown apart exposing your breasts and before you could object the baby latched on.
Your whole body now tingled as the newborn suckled on you. As much as you wanted to deny it, it felt wonderful.
“Oh he knows exactly what to do!” the midwife seemed quite chuffed. “He’s taken to it readily. Can you feel your milk flowing?”
You nodded. You didn’t know what to say. You looked at the baby suckling on you. He was swaddled in a cloth with only his head exposed. His skin was quite pink and his hair was sandy brown and about ½ an inch long. His skull seemed misshapen and his features swollen but right now he seemed the prettiest baby you had ever seen.
The nurse just watched with a smile on her face.