Your fingers feel something cold and metallic. You pull it out of the bargain bin.
In your hand is a what seems to be some kind of steel ring, too large for any fingers, engraved with strange rough symbols. A label is attached to the ring with a piece of twine.
[Cummand Cock Ring 3000: Cum on Command!
New and Improved Features!
Improved Voice detection: Now with better compatibility with various accents and speech impediments.
Auto Sizing: Doesn’t matter big or small, with the Cummand Cock Ring one size fits all!
Discreet Stealth Enchantment: No one but the wearer will see the ring.
Easy six rune interface: Just rub the rune on the ring to activate the functions! (see other side)].
There was also a big [⚠️] sticker on the label
You notice every other item in the bargain bin also has a big [⚠️] sticker and assume it means there is some fault or defect with this ring. The back of a label has a list of functions and a corresponding symbol to activate it.
[Main Function:
💦 Cummand: Whether you want to last longer or get the job done quickly, the Cummand Cock Ring will allow you to ejaculate on command. Once activated, only the magic word "Cum" will have you blasting loads like a champion every time with no refractory period."
Secondary Functions:
↔️ Resize: Make your dick the right size to suit your needs! With your finger on the rune Say "Shrink" to lose an inch and "Grow" to gain an inch. Girth automatically adjusts to match.
↕️ Erectile: No more awkward boners in the changing room, or dysfunction in the bedroom! Rub the rune and say "Soft" or "Hard" as desired.
🛑 Denial: Kinky and Frustrated? This will prevent a set amount of orgasms. Just rub the rune and say any number between 1 and 100!
💧 Dribble: For ruined orgasms only! No more pleasure and puddles at your leisure. Rub the rune and say "ruined" to activate]
The sixth function on the list was worn out and illegible.
Of course being the sensible person you are, you decide that putting a defective magic cock ring on your penis might not be the wisest of decisions. Just as you are about to return it to the bargain bin, your phone chimes. You receive a text about an emergency that requires your urgent attention. You immediately rush for the exit and only when you are pushing open the door do you realize you are still holding the Cummand Ring.
You spot an old man behind the counter and yell to him. "I'm gonna leave this here, they come from the bargain bin!" and drop the ring on a nearby table.
The old man slowly responds "Okay, thank you for visi-" but he does not have a chance to finish before you leave the store.
Not moments later another curious shopper enters and the glittering ring immediately catches their eye.