"It could be we're thinking about this the wrong way," Izzie said. "I mean, least the food part. "There are human cultures that eat monkey brains. There are cultures that eat dog meat, horse meat, or dolphin meat. And others where owning a chicken for a pet is a social norm. And of course cultures who think eating eggs for breakfast is weird. So are chicken and cow anthros working a place where you cook the non-sapient versions of those things that weird?"
"But! But!" Linda stuttered. "What if some maniac tried to serve sapient meat pretending it was non-sapient?"
"... There were lunatics who already did that. Human flesh already tasted like pig meat."
"Oh."
Linda always preferred taking the lead in their relationship, it was rather awkward to admit Izzie had a point.
"Should we wait for Zach to finish his job? Wanna see a movie? Before humans disappear forever?"
"Movies? ... Izzie do you have any comic books in your backpack?"
"Sure, don't see what the big-"
"Show them!"
Izzie did so... Linda looked at the pages... alien superheroes in tight spandex, freckled teenagers in love triangles... and all still human.
"Looks like fictional humans don't get changed," Linda said.
"Don't assume, remember all the movies these superheroes have had. The actors are all going to change. And so will the characters in their movies, if this thing really is changing that have already happened."
"Sure. But what about all the beloved comic strip human characters who were always animated?"
"... Are we really debating on whether Buck Rodgers (copyright expired 2025) is gonna stay human?"
"I... I just want something, some assurance that even if I've somehow triggered the extinction of the human species, that it'll still exist in some form. Even if they're as imaginary as elves and dwarves," Linda said.
"Heh, I had friends complain that humans were no longer included in the monster manual, so that's something," Izzie said, going for her own levity.
Linda looked down at her paws and outside. "... How am I going to explain it to mom?"
"That we weren't always animal people?"
"I mean skipping school! She's going to wring my neck! I can't tell her what's happening! She's think I'm insane! She'll think you're insane! I don't wanna spend the next ten years in a padded cell being fed medications while a psychologist asks if I lost a plush monkey when I was little."
"Fake being sick and say it was just a 24-hour bug?"
"Would she really fall for that?"
"Of course she will, she trusts you," Izzie said causally.
Linda's ears wilted. "Right, she trusts me."
Linda went right back to her own sanctuary, her phone and scrolling news stories. Her blood ran cold.
"Izzie... " Linda whimpered. "You might not want to read this."
Confused, Izzie looked anyway. It was the crime news column.
A photo of an antelope man at the edge of a build's roof with his shoes off (that couldn't have fit his hooves anyway). Linda recognized it as a accounting firm in in Next Town over. The news story saying he'd shouted before jumping, "I'm to escape this furry virtual reality! You robots can't stop me!"
"Oh my God," Izzie whispered.
Their eyes widened at the next story. In the Big City, was photos of a ram man on the ground, mostly covered by a tarp on the street, surrounded by anthro police.
"You aliens might have replaced everyone else, but you didn't replace my brain!" He'd been screaming. Shooting at everyone that moved before the police gunned him down. His wife and child 'couldn't be reached for comment.'
Finally, was photo of a yak woman squeezed into a hospital bed, practically mummified and hooked up to an IV. Don't ask how they got the photo. Her family quoted her as saying, 'Mother Nature has brought her justice upon you all! We must all return to her bosom!' Followed by another less than dignified photo of her running naked into the woods (though her fur covered everything anyway). And a park ranger quoted, 'She was mauled by a bear while trying to hug one of its cubs.'
Linda's whole body shook. "I wanna go home." She did not cry. She did not cry.
"Okay Fuzzy, we can go home," Izzie said, and helped Linda stand.
On the way back to Linda's house, they spotted a pregnant woman getting out of her darkly tinted car at the market. In an eye blink, she was a dodo bird carrying an egg in a stroller.
The husband came out next, and in eye-blink, he was T-Rex, though it bore only a passing resemblance to the one seen in the movies. He had a stronger resemblance to a bird than a lizard, if one still with sharp fangs and could bite you in two.
"I swear, if bug people start popping into being, I'm gonna start screaming, and never, ever, stop," Linda said.
"I'll join you," Izzie said with a shudder. "But I'm more worried if someone turned into a tapeworm or something."
"... I don't even want to IMAGINE that!"
"Sorry."
They were jolted out of their thoughts at what they saw next...
It was a black and white anthro house cat walking across the street... naked except for his wallet and ID around neck like a collar.
He was stopped by a literal police dog (a golden retriever), who wrote him up a ticket.. for jaywalking.
The pair blinked, and the police dog was just wearing his hat, (with holes cut for his ears), his badges, and his police 'utility belt.'
Also bizarrely of note, their nipples and private parts were completely hidden by their fur.
"Stripes, did you just see what I saw?" Linda asked.
"You mean that cat dude being naked, and then the cop being naked? Yep, Fuzzy."
"Let's hurry home!"
The pair rushed to Linda's home, happy to see their clothes were still there.
'Then again, if we were changed more, how would we even notice?' Linda thought.
"HEY! FUZZ-FACE!" Linda knew that voice.
She turned to see one of their neighbor's kid's, Bobby... he now had brown fur, a white belly, big round ears, a long snout and a little back nose. And of course a long pink tail. He wore a red collar. He was also sitting on the picket fence between their houses, waving his tail at her.
"Garbage, you little rat!" Linda hissed.
"Nya nya! Catch me if you can!" Bobby stuck out his tongue, and scampered off, effortlessly climbing over his own house and into the backward.
"Ignore him Fuzzy," Izzie said putting a paw on her shoulder. "Let just get inside, at least now you won't be lying to your mom saying you don't feel so good."
Linda nodded, but the world seemed obsessed with throwing as much in her face as possible.
"MOMMY! LOOK! I'M A UNICORN!"
"Yes Mary, you are," said a calm motherly voice.
A green unicorn toddler in a blue frilly dress literally popped into sight on the front lawn, the air pushed out of the way just before she appeared.
She only vaguely resembled a horse. She had the tail of a lion, the legs of a deer, and the ears of a goat. her fingers were three (including a thumb) digits ending in natural armor. Linda noted her horn was two horns close together tightly spiraled into one.
She vanished with another 'pop' air being sucked into the vacuum she left behind when she teleported again. She appeared on top of the house like it was a rocking horse. She teleported on the top of the family car, and teleported again out of sight, to the sound of something falling over in the back yard.
"HEY SCREW-HEAD!"
"Sorry big brother!" Mary was heard giggling before teleported into her inflated wadding pool and splashing around.
A naked green furred mouse woman came out onto the front porch, not counting her jeweled necklace and several earrings, plus her wedding band, and another ring at the base of her tail.
"Mary! What has mother told you about teleporting without permission?"
"Uh, nothing mommy?" The toddler asked genuinely confused.
"Don't lie to me, you're not supposed to teleport without daddy's supervision. Oh and you messed your new dress... come inside and we'll get you cleaned up." Mary's mother said taking the confused toddler back inside the house.
Izzie had an odd feeling of being jipped. "... Why couldn't I have been turned into a tanuki?"
"STRIPES!" Linda snapped.
"Sorry, Fuzzy."
The pair entered, a surprised Ferret woman (still wearing her dress, for now), turned from the news in the living room. "Linda! What are you doing home? Didn't you have a test today?"
"Sorry mom I'm... I'm not feeling so good," Linda whimpered, indeed no longer a lie.
"Okay dear, you rest as much as you want," Linda's mom said hugging her.