"Secret"
By Justin F - soulstrong.net
Part III Written 7/5/06
This man that lay beside me was so warm, that I had caught myself in the moment without even thinking about what was even truly going on. I closed my eyes and opened them, looking to my right as I saw the body of Ben Harvey laying beside me, resting quietly yet obviously fatigued from stress and worry even during sleep.
I sat up and examined the room as I let life slowly but surely sink back in. I took a breath in and let it go as I explored the man beside me with my eyes as I had done before with my hands. I didn’t really know Ben that well other than that I spoke with him every now and then and made conversation. Now…I found myself laying in the same bed and still just as confused as I was before.
Only an hour or so had passed surprisingly since I first entered the room; a part of me felt ashamed for letting so much time pass by yet another part of me was glad I had let myself get swept away.
“Travis” I spoke as I watched him move slightly. “Travis—Travis” I repeated, watching as the man beside me slowly opened his eyes as he turned to me and pulled himself up. “We need to get ready to get your life back. We have to find Ben” I told him, quickly standing from the bed and finding various articles of clothing all around the room.
As I finished getting dressed my eyes were glued on Travis as he pulled himself from the bed, obviously only now aware of the new weight and changes of Ben’s body due to his slumber. When Travis finally looked up to me, I saw a side of Travis I probably never would have seen; I saw Ben afraid—which was truthfully Travis’ fear reaching out to me. I dove down to him and sat beside him, placing my hand on his shoulder as I let him lay against my torso.
I didn’t know Travis well, I didn’t know Ben well; and yet I now felt so comfortable to be around Travis—to be around Ben physically.
“Charlie…I know I shouldn’t be pessimistic…but I don’t know how to cope really…it’s not something most people ever have to go through. I’m…not even sure how any of this happened—how any of it is even possible. These things shouldn’t be able to happen… College life…full of mysteries and pleasures…” Travis explained, the voice of Ben subdued.
I rubbed his back as I reached down and grabbed a t-shirt of Ben’s and handed it to him. “If we can find Ben…we can hopefully figure out how to switch this back. After that…I’ll have a much closer relationship with you…the boy who I hardly knew. We just can’t be pessimistic, okay? We have to be strong Travis. And…if…if you don’t think you can be, just lean on me, or think about just how strong Ben is—and rely on both his physical strength as well as the guts he had to pull this on you.”
Ben’s eyes looked up to me as I felt his hands drape around my body and up to my jaw as I felt a sweet kiss on my lips. Soon I watched as he stood up and quickly redressed himself to Ben’s former clothes.
“He…complimented me a lot when we were hanging out…about my body and all that. That he had secretly envied me…I just hadn’t caught it earlier…just too flattered I guess. So…maybe…he went to the gym? It’s near the cafeteria too…” Travis recommended, looking back to the nearby mirror as he examined the attractive man before him.
What we had shared would be a secret to everyone except us. It’d probably even be a secret to Ben—but if he was behind this thievery he deserved it.
Soon we walked up to the college gym—I could tell Travis was relieved. The school colors of white, blue, and navy were draped everywhere in the large complex. Travis had been mostly silent as we walked through the campus to the gym, but now as we seemed closer to our goal, I could tell he was either feeling closer to Ben or was feeling more confident with the idea of leaving this surreal reality.
As we made our way down the large hallway I was almost positive from Travis’ anxiousness and fast pace that he was feeling like this fantasy would be ending faster than even Ben knew. As we proceeded down the hallway I stopped abruptly as my eyes caught a familiar man in the weight’s room, placing a pair of dumbbells onto the floor mats and then walking up to the large mirrored wall and examining himself.
I threw my hand out and touched Travis’ shoulder as he turned to see his true self in the nearby room. I could practically feel the emotions radiating from him as he saw the impossible truly be a possibility—watching himself from another person’s perspective.
Travis swallowed and looked over to me—unsure of what to do.
“I saw you in the cafeteria when you suddenly gasped and then left. …Maybe…you need to just focus on switching back then. And maybe you can do it now that you’re so close to him” I suggested, trying to think as logically as possible as this impossibility continued to unfold.
“Could you…perhaps go to him and…talk to him?” Travis asked, pushing me to the door as he wisped out of the window’s sight.
Great…must…not…be…flirtatious.