"Secret" - Part Six: Travis and Charlie find themselves.
By Justin F - soulstrong.net
Part VI Written 7/16/06
I could see that the thought had definitely done something to him. I looked into his eyes; and at some point as he stayed silent I had managed to gain the confidence to stand up and place my hands on his ribs and then hips.
The way I figured it, whether Travis remembered who he really was, the man in front of me was in every sense Ben unless I could get him to remember. And although I could see myself being with him for this night, perhaps even more than that, I knew that this Ben in front of me wasn't the same Ben I had always known. So as the music slowly played in the background, and we began to sway to the music together, I knew I had to keep my guard up; and remember that while I stayed with him everything I did could affect my future with Ben as well as with Travis.
I moved with his warm body, my head against his shoulder and chest as the music began to speed up. I looked up into his eyes and saw his eyes were closed. What was going on in there? How could I remind him of being someone when I had hardly even known the person? Either way, that couldn't be an obstacle-not if I wanted everything to work out as it should.
I had to play my night strategically but truthfully, if I could just replay what had happened before he had lost his memories and gained Ben's then perhaps he could find them again.
So I let out bodies move to the music as slowly but surely our bodies were pressed up against each other, and I looked to his subdued face as I could see thoughts going in and out of his mind. I adjusted my hands to hold onto his midsection and back as I leaned in and kissed his lips; pressing so passionately to give that same deep kiss he had delivered after his mental transformation. His arms draped around my shoulders and neck…
I'd save Travis; I'd save Ben; and I'd save my relationship with the two men that a day before I would have thought I'd never even be able to touch.
The music picked up and I leaned back, looking into his eyes as he gently opened to reveal his beautiful eyes beneath. Earlier in the day they had been oceans; and now I wondered why they reminded me of an open sky.
"Charlie…" he whispered as he pushed his crouch against mine. I knew Ben cared for me now, I knew the Travis I had met in the gym before liked me; I knew the true Travis would care for me even more if that Travis could remember all the time we had spent together.
Ben had envied Travis on some level; Travis had envied Ben; so if I could just allow whatever force that allowed Travis to swap bodies with Ben to act, all would be remedied.
"Yes?" I asked sweetly, allowing him to move with me as I lay on his bed and he lay over me. The warmth of his bare chest was magnetic; and as he hovered above I knew it was only right that I slowly begin to remove my own clothes as we worked his off as well.
I wasn't sure of what I was doing, but at the same time I was. I wasn't sure of who I was with, but at the same time I was. He hadn't really spoken about what was going on in his mind. And yet in a way he had. What was it he was saying now? What was it he wanted to tell me? What did I want to tell him?
I had to rework what I could remember from earlier into optimism and passion. What was it he had said earlier? How had he felt earlier? How soft was his skin? How was his hair styled every time he brushed his foreign hands through it?
"College life…full of mysteries and pleasures" he whispered as he allowed his hand to make its way up my thigh as his other hand rested itself beside me. Our lips touched and his breath was so warm; our bodies moved in harmony as I was sure we were both connecting over mixed emotions and sweat.
He had said that earlier. Travis, had said that earlier. Was it sinking in now? Was he remembering? Was this what I wanted?
A deep evening of mystery and dualism; was it all sincere?
"I care for you" he breathed.
I wasn't sure as I let our lips kiss and kiss and kiss…
"I was always shy around you" he whispered.
I wasn't sure as I let our bodies undress and let all physical worries disappear…
He began to kiss my chest and make his way down my body, until I could only feel bliss…
"That feels so good" I spoke as our eyes connected once again.
Passionate breaths of deep inhales and exhales…
I wasn't sure as we slowly serenaded one another…and allowed our bodies to connect in ways more than one.
The next morning I woke remembering the night before and then the movement of the body that had been beside me slowly move away throughout my sleeping bliss. My eyes opened as I watched the sunlight shine through the trees and into the bedroom. When I sat up I found myself alone, and I knew where he had gone.
I quickly stood up from his bed and dressed, made my way down the hallway to my own dorm room, moving in past my sleeping roommate and quickly changing into a pair of clean clothes that hadn't been touched by the charms of the night before.
As I made my way out of the building, across campus, and finally to the large gym I found myself wondering what I'd ask. Would I let silence be the communicator? Would the person I spoke to be Travis or Ben? Would he remember both lives or only one or the other? Certain memories? Certain questions? Certain touches?
When I finally made my way past the gym's lobby, and hallway of hallways, I spotted him in the same exercise room that I had found Travis in earlier. I looked to him through the window and blinds until I opened the door and walked through the room, surprised of how he was the only on there. Our eyes caught sight of one another as I moved closer and closer to him as he placed the dumbbells in his hands onto the floor mats and stood up, looking directly into my eyes.
"I do remember" he said in a stern tone. What was he was referring to? I couldn't take any chances; and it was then that I noticed a man enter the exercise room and wave to us as he walked to the back room to place his gym bag on the rack unit.
Ben's eyes connected with mine as we watched Travis move around the room and begin on his morning routine.
"I had forgotten…but last night you caused me to remember…" he finished, looking back to Travis and then back to me.
I had caught myself into this mess that was only now beginning to be cleaned.
"What will you do?" I asked as I only now realized how much my voice was at a whisper.
He looked to me, then to Travis, and then back to me; and reached forward, placing his hands around my back and beside my cheek and leaned in, forcing his lips upon me. As I could feel his breath I felt him inhale suddenly as we kissed-as if he were stealing the breath from me-and I then heard another gasp inside the room-and I opened my eyes.
I blinked my eyes a few times as I caught my breath and looked into Ben's eyes, seeing him smile and look upwards into my eyes.
"I enjoyed last night…I'll see you later" he whispered to me, as he placed his hand on my ass and passed me, opening the door into the hallway. I watched him as he looked to Travis, licking his lips slightly, and he slowly moved out of my sight through the blinds and window.
He had gasped and I hadn't thought much of it…
I turned quickly to see Travis standing beside me.
"So it's just a secret between you and me then" he said as he kissed me on the lips-allowing me to feel a familiar yet foreign kiss.
And I pieced it all together.