"I suppose I can't blame you for caring, really. It's actually pretty commandable that you came here with such a noble goal. Although, really what you're doing is being chauvanistic and sexist, so, I really don't know what to do with you," Steve said.
"What the hell are you talking about?" the boyfriend said.
Steve simply smirked a snide smirk and wrote down on the paper in front of him 'Janet's boyfriend cannot move,' and instantly the boyfriend became stationary. As stoic as a statue, with naught but his eyes showing any trace of humanity. Now that he had bought himself some more time, Steve refined his sentence. 'Janet's boyfriend cannot move from the spot where he is stood, but will be able to talk to me and move his upper body. He will not be able to call for help, and if he somehow manages it, nobody will hear him.'
"What the hell have you done to me? What the hell have you done to her?" Janet's boyfriend yelled, glancing down at what he thought was his old Janine.
"It simply came about that she has more office duties to fulfill than people seem to expect," Steve grinned.
"What's going on?" Janet asked innocently.
Steve quickly doodled 'Janet falls asleep for ten minutes,' the effects of which were Janet rolling over in a heap and snoring unpleasantly, much to Steve's amusement.
"You're a bastard!" Janet's boyfriend yelled.
"Ah, be nice. Now, I know you're panicking and so on and suchforth, but that's no reason to be potty-tongued."
Picking up the pen he scribbles quickly, 'Janet's boyfriend cannot swear, and instead uses pathetic sounding phrases.'
"Fiddlesticks to you, sir!" Steve's prisoner suddenly shouted, before looking surprised.
"Now, come on. I'm playing nice. I have a magic pen here. Anything I write comes true, kapiche? I just figured it'd be an altruistic gesture to share it with someone, but...if you want to become Janet's twin-whore and split the, ahem, office work, then just say the word," said Steve, putting pen to paper.
"Oh, shoot, no, ok, I'll play along," said Janet's boyfriend.
"Good boy," said Steve, "but what to do with you? I'd rather like to keep your mind the same, having a zombie for a comrade simply wouldn't be as fun. So, it'll work like this. You run things by me and I'll either ok them, or say no. Simple. Deal?"
"Flip yeah," said Janet's boyfriend.
"Of course, if it turns out that your ideas are as mundane as your original intentions for bursting in were, I may just turn you into Janet two anyway. So, think carefully now, what should I write next?" said Steve.
The poor man's mind goes blank, and fearing for some sort of sudden change of heart, he simply utters the first thought that comes to mind...