"I'd like to buy some jewelry," Amy said. "I'm looking for something rare and exotic, so I thought there might be something interesting here."
The man's eyes twinkled. "Rare, yes. Exotic, yes. You've certainly come to the right place. Aisle twelve is full of the most incredible jewelry you've ever seen. You're sure to be noticed with some of those items accenting your body."
"Great!" Amy said. "Thanks!"
"But be very careful," he warned. "And do not touch anything unless you are absolutely willing to buy it. Read the warning signs carefully! I recall one foolish boy who drank from a ruby goblet and is now terrorizing the people of 1030's France as a fire-breathing dragon."
"Okay, see this is exactly the kind of thing I'd like to avoid while I'm in here," Amy said. The time-traveling boy-dragon story sounded improbable at best, but again, her instincts were telling her that she had to play by the old man's rules if she wanted to be safe. "Can you come with me and make sure I keep myself from changing into a lemur?"
"Nono, no," he said dismissively, shuffling around the counter. "There is much to do around this store and I have been failing to tend to it. When you have chosen something, please bring it here and ring the bell to summon me. Remember: be extremely careful. Now, where did I leave that broom?"
Amy's mouth dropped as she watched him shuffle down the nearest aisle. The guy was surely nuts. Still, she came in to buy something and she wasn't going to leave empty-handed...at least, she wasn't going to leave without first confirming for herself that the store was legitimate. She found aisle twelve and her jaw dropped again. It was packed to the gills with every kind of metal, every kind of gem, every type of decoration one would ever think of putting on one's body...and some she was sure nobody but their creator had ever thought of. There would be no problem finding something she liked among this treasure trove.
She examined some items and realized she didn't need to wake the old man to get the message; almost everything had a card next to it with big red letters outlining a unique warning. A pair of earrings said "Do not wear for more than two minutes." The card next to a diamond ring said "Do not wear if you have not chosen a lover." Few actually told her what the jewelry's actual effects were, however, she could wager an educated guess.
A golden tooth read "Midas Tooth: Do not touch anything living while wearing this."
A large silver necklace read "Cleopatra's Shining Glory: May cause sensitive hearing, colorblindness and the uncontrollable urge to chase mice."
A knight's gauntlet read "Medieval Armored Glove: Do not wear without matching armor."
A giant nose ring read "Decoration of the Minotaur: Wear in a room with a high ceiling or outdoors to avoid head injury."
A bracelet with many different-colored jewels inside it read "Teleportation Ring: Jump to anyone, anywhere, anytime."
"Well, this one looks the least dangerous," Amy thought. "But then again, it's probably got the worst effects."
The aisle went on and on. Amy wanted over half the things there, but was too afraid of the odd and cryptic side effects. She knew she had to try something, it was just a matter of what was pretty and simultaneously safe to wear.