"How's it hanging?" Carl repeated, looking over it at Jake, then snarfed. "Funniest thing I've ever heard."
"Huh?" said Jake.
"Can you keep a secret?"
"Uh, sure," Jake said. "What's up, dude?"
Carl took him silently by the arm and pulled him into the boys bathroom, then into the handicapped stall, which was the only one big enough for two guys to stand in. "Guess how big my dick is."
Jake chuckled. "Dude, we were in PE together last year. It's like not much."
"Wanna bet?" said Carl and the next thing he unzipped his fly.
"Dude," said Carl, "what's with-- Holy Fuck!" he exclaimed as he looked at Carl's thirteen-inch monster. "Have you been taking penis enlargement pills or something?"
"No, but wanna see what's freakier?"
"What, you can suck yourself?"
"Actually, haven't tried, but I could. Just watch." Carl pulled out the button on his watch and spun the dial three times. His penis unreeled another foot and he then held up the twenty-five in penis like it was a prize eel.
"What the hell?" said Jake.
"I know, crazy isn't it? My dick just started growing yesterday, and when I woke up I was nearly tripping over it. But I figured out that it grows when a clock goes forward and it shrinks back if you turn one back."
Jake did not look like he believed him, then said, "The fuck" and grabbed Carl's wrist and his watch. He took hold of the knob and twisted, and after spinning it a bit more, Carl's dick grew another two and a half feet. Carl hung it around his neck like a scarf.
"What the hell?"
Carl grinned. "Don't tell anyone. It's a secret." He turned the dial of his watch, taking himself back to a more managable but still porn-starrish eighteen inches, and grinned as he zipped his monster back into his pants.
The bell rang then. "Oh crap," said Jake. "I've got math." He looked at Carl. "That is the freakiest thing I've ever seen."
"Don't tell anyone."
"Sure," said Jake.
"Shake on it?"
"Sure." They did the secret friendship handshake and then Jake ran off to math class.
The clock in the bathroom was still ticking and Carl suddenly realized his best friend Jake had swiped his watch.