Jeff stepped back to get a full length view of his reflection. What struck him first was just how bright, white and pasty his skin had become, except where the freckles had grown out on his hands, lower arms and face. The ginger coloured hair had spread over his chest, legs and arms and now... he realised that the hair on his head had become ginger too...
He glared at the transformation machine. "What sort of malfunction has that fuckin' machine got if it thinks a Jock looks like this?" he shouted out loud. And then, "Och, I dunnae ken wass wrang".
Jeff was stunned. That was not his voice.
Just then he caught a glimpse of the clothes hanging up in his closet. Of course - he had selected for the machine to change the clothes, as well as his body, into those of a Jock. So why had that pair of skinny jeans, that he knew that was hanging on the left hand side of the closet, been replaced by a skirt?
He took the skirt from the hanger. It wasn't anything like the skirts worn by the girls in school when they were trying to look smart. Instead, with its plaited appearance and checkerboard pattern... where had he seen this sort of garment before. Oh yes - St Patrick's Day, without fail, whowever was the Predident, they would be wearing one of these. Searching in his memory - the suddenly he remembered - it was a kilt!
"Now, am a right, or am a wrang?" he thought.
Taking the kilt in his hands, he slipped in around his waist and fitted it into place. Opening a drawer beneath he went to choose a pair of boxers, but they had all vanished! On a whim, Jeff realised that it just felt right to be wearing his kilt without anything underneath. Looking round for something to wear on top, although he was tempted to show off his new hairy chest, he found a couple of possibilities. One was a dark blue shirt with a white collar, and a motif of a thistle, the other a thinner and brighter nylon top bearing the legend 'Inverness Caledonian Thistle'. What could it mean?