Kelly found the keg and read the placard again. She felt silly, but she was drunk, and something about the keg impelled her. If she had known the true magic qualities of it... how it unlocks the true fantasies of anyone who uses it.
She found a cup on the floor that had used to have Allen's drink in it, and started pumping it. Just like Zinger before her, her hand eventually found her pussy and she began pumping something else in her stupor.
"Zinger is totally straight... Zinger is totally straight... Zinger is totally straight and he's a complete pussy hound... Zinger is the biggest cunt pounder on campus... he can have any girl any time and he totally knows it, and he totally does... Zinger is a big dicked, womanizing stud, like James Bond, Tom Cruise, Colin Farrel and Wolverine all rolled into one... all men and women look up to Zinger as a man among men."
With a cry she squirted all over the glass. She got up in confusion. She NEVER ejaculated... what was she doing here? Oh yeah, getting a beer for Zinger... well, maybe he'd at least pay attention to her, even though it probably wouldn't work. She left the attic.