Pulling the yellow shorts (complete with large belt) out of the box, you can't help but feel that you've seen them somewhere before. The necklace looked a little less familiar, but nevertheless, it seemed that you'd seen both before. Something inside you said there was an item missing, but you had no idea what it was.
Shrugging, you set them aside and go about your day. It isn't until about 6 PM that you think about the pants and necklace again. You spend about 5 minutes trying to figure out what it is they're reminding you of, but the best you can do is think of the colour blue, and the colour red being inside it.
You eat dinner, then watch a little TV. At 7:30 PM, you decide to get ready, and quickly don the pants. Finding that they are quite uncomfortable, you take them off again, and realise that the discomfort was due to your underwear digging into them. You pause, and consider the options - very quickly, you decide to go commando, and remove your underwear. Putting the pants on again, you feel quite comfortable. You take a closer look at the necklace - it looks fairly nondescript, except for the pendant, which was quite large and, although plain, remarkable for its shape and smoothness.
Slipping the necklace over your head and into place, you ponder the options regarding a shirt. Glancing at the box, you find another piece of paper, which included explicit instructions to wear only what was in the box, and nothing else. Although you would feel somewhat selfconscious about going without a shirt, you decide to follow the instructions in that regard. However, you don't want to cause problems, so you don a pair of shoes for the trip over - you can take them off when you arrive, anyway.
Finishing off with a quick brush of your hair, you glance in the mirror and again are struck with the feeling that you're missing something blue, with red in it. Again, you shrug it off, and head out to your car. It is only a short drive to the park, and you arrive a few minutes ahead of time. You walk over to the fountain, and sit on the edge, take off your shoes, and wait.
You hear the local town clock start the chime for eight o'clock, and you see someone walking out of the shadows, carrying something. You start to feel a little dizzy, but you stand up as they walk towards you.
As they come into the light, you see that it is your friend, Kane, and he is carrying a blue backpack by the handle. He also has a strange red feather hanging from a string on his chest. Even as the final chime of the town clock echoes around the park, you hear Kane swear and start pulling at his clothes, screaming that he's burning up. You start to run towards him, only to find that you're losing your balance. Tumbling, you roll forwards a little as Kane reaches where you are. He drops the blue backpack and as it touches your leg, your body is also engulfed in heat.
You scream for a moment, but the heat dies to merely a strong warmth, and you start to feel your own body writhing. You watch as Kane, his naked body now exposed completely, arches his back, as red feathers start to poke through his skin. However, you are unable to help your friend as your own body starts to inflate, the hairs growing longer and thicker by the second. You are helpless as you watch your nose grow longer and bigger, your hands growing bigger, thicker and stubbier as your feet undergo the same process. You can feel your entire head distorting as the tip of your nose starts turning black.
Kane stumbles out of view for a moment, and as he does so you hear a loud clucking sound for a moment. As he stumbles back into view, you see his face is now fitted with a large yellow beak, while his legs grow thinner and start to turn yellow. The red feathers continue to grow in, now hiding his skin everywhere except his legs. His arse sticks out behind him, and is adorned with long red tailfeathers. His arms are twisted back along his body and his hands are becoming long and thin feathers even protruding from his fingers.
Your own body stops writhing, and you get to your feet quickly, swinging the backpack onto your back without even thinking. You try to talk, but all that comes out is a growl. You hear another clucking sound, and glance towards Kane, who is now very much Avian in appearance. Without pausing, you run towards him, running in a lumbering gait, feeling the backpack shift against your very hairy skin as you run.
As you reach Kane, he clucks something, and you actually find you can understand it: "Fuck, what happened?" He then looks up at you, and he clucks "Who are you?"
You reply in a growl, which Kane appears to understand, based on his shocked reaction, and then you explain what had just happened to you. Kane explains that he got a similar "secret admirer" message, only he was given a feather on a string and a blue backpack that was far too large for him to wear on his back. Then you hear a cackle, like that of an old woman, in the distance, echoing through the park. This breaks you out of your conversation, and you start to wonder what you actually look like.
You and Kane both walk quickly over to the fountain, and look into the water. As you look into the water, you immediately recognise what it is that is looking back at you - it's Banjo, from Banjo Kazooie. Suddenly everything falls into place - the blue backpack and yellow shorts, the red bird, the cackle... The CACKLE! You realise what is about to happen, and you turn just in time to see a witch, who looks almost identical to Grunty from the same game, flying in on a broomstick, still cackling. Kane takes a moment longer to turn, and screeches in shock.
"Two friends are now bear and bird,
somewhere hidden is a third.
Until the three have beaten me,
bear and bird they still shall be!"
She then flies off towards the east, down into a hole in the earth that angled down on a slope. Kane starts to turn to chase after her, but you quickly stop him. You explain to him that you seem to be stuck in a game of Banjo Kazooie, and you had to work together to return to normal. You were worried about the "third", who could have been turned into just about anyone - Bottles, Mumbo Jumbo, Humba Wumba, Tooty, a Jinjo, or even Klungo. You weren't even sure which friend it would be.
Without any further pause, you instruct Kane to hop into the backpack, and the two of you head towards the hole, knowing that you were diving headlong into the nearly-unknown.