"I want to be a heck of a lot younger! But not as I was, but as I would like to have been," you reply, adding the last bit as you suddenly realize that you are talking to your television set!
Blinking, you see that your television is now displaying the message: "Programming done for the night."
The screen then dissolves to static.
Rubbing your eyes, you feel as if you have been staring at the t.v. for hours and look at the clock on the DVD player. 1:00 AM! Good thing you don't need to be anywhere early in the day.
Stretching, feeling a bit woozy, as if you'd spent the afternoon drinking bad booze, you wander to the bathroom and then to bed.
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"Ian? IAN?! Are you up yet?! You told your dad you'd cut the grass today!"
A voice is calling you, dragging you from sleep far too soon...
What the hell?! You live alone! The voice is a woman's voice, and you hate to think how long it has been since a (non-imaginary)woman has visited your place!
A knocking sounds on your door, rolling over, you look in the direction of the sound, and discover two thing. 1) the door isn't in the same place you left it (and, come to think of it, looks different). 2) you have the most extreme case of "morning wood" you have had since..., well, maybe ever.
Your door starts to open (where did that basketball hoop hanging on it come from?), and, feeling acutely embarrassed at your erection, you quickly place a pillow on your crotch. Actually, it feels kinda good...
A not too bad looking woman about your age looks into the room, looks around, then looks at you.
"Honestly, Ian, once you are done with the lawn, you really need to spend some time cleaning up in here. Those clothes aren't going to get themselves down to the laundry room, you know!" she scolds. "Now get dressed, and get downstairs for some breakfast. Your father and I are going up to visit your brother at college today, and we expect you to have your chores done by the time we get back. If you had got them done yesterday instead of going off to the beach to play volleyball with your friends, you could have come with us!"
'YES! A day to myself!' suddenly shoots through your mind. Quickly follow by: 'Where did that come from? And who is she?'
"Yes, mom," you find yourself saying, suddenly feeling guilty about not having completed your chores when you were supposed to. 'Chores?!'
Suddenly, you remember that you were supposed to have gotten the lawn done yesterday, and it was your turn to load the dishwasher (which hardly seems fair, since you skipped eating at home, instead grabbing something to eat from the concession stand on the beach using your own money). Plus, you'd already gotten all your homework done-- well, the stuff due on Monday, anyway. There was that History paper coming due...
But you are a forty-five year old guy living on his own! Not a kid trying to remember if he was supposed to paint the garage door this weekend or next!
"Well, get downstairs before your breakfast gets cold," she orders, closing the door.
As soon as the door is shut, you jump out of bed, stepping on a damp swimsuit and a suspiciously stiff sock in the process. Hurrying over to a full length mirror attached to one of your closet doors (the other has a poster from a band you never heard of but it now seems like you have liked forever), you take a good look at yourself...
"I must have taken the bus to the beach!" you exclaim, looking at the figure in the mirror. Staring back at you is a kid, who can't possibly be older than 14, with unruly, auburn hair, sparkling green eyes, and a skinny body which seems to be developing into an athletic one. You seem to be at least a foot shorter than you had been, judging by the height of the doors and ceiling. No body hair is evident, and all you are wearing is a pair of loose, dark blue boxers. Removing these, you see an unimpressive set of genitalia, completely bare. It would seem you are a late bloomer...
The erection, which had felt much more impressive than it looks, quickly fades.
Fear and excitement compete for attention-- this is both the scariest and most thrilling thing to have happened to you, ever! Gone are the responsibilities of adulthood! Present are the possibilities of redoing growing up, this time knowing what to expect ahead of time... er, mostly. (You didn't look a thing like this last time.) Of course, also gone are the freedoms of adulthood, replaced with adults telling you when to be home, what you can watch, what to do, etc.
You catch yourself absently playing with your nuts, and realize you should probably get dressed. Your clean clothes are, apparently, still in a laundry basket, awaiting you to put them away...