Looking around at the sea of laughing faces, feeling my face turn beet red, I glanced at Thomas, saw the funny look he had gotten on his, turned and ran out of the cafeteria, silently berating myself, "How can you be so stupid to say something like that out loud?"
Walking down the hall, I saw a couple of girls and felt my mind slip. Before I could say anything foolish, I took off running down the hallway and seeing a bathroom, I ducked into it.
Standing in front of the mirror, I looked at my reflection of my face. I have long brown hair that fell just past my shoulders and a soft, delicate looking face. Brushing a strand of soft hair away from my face, I step back and gasp at what I see.
It was apparent that it was more than just a bit of weight loss, for I’ve also shrunk from my normal height of five foot seven down to I'd guess about five foot one. "Well, that would explain why my clothes feel not only baggy, but also kind of long," I said as I looked into the mirror.
Staring at the mirror, asking myself, "What's come over you man? Why are you acting so....girly?" I was distracted as the door started to open and I could here the voices of a group of girls entering.
Thinking to myself, "Oh, shit," I ducked into one of the stalls and sitting on the toilet, listened as the girls came into the bathroom.
"Did you hear what Marcus Ericson just asked Jessica Raults?" asked one.
"Yeah, I did and I wasn't even there in the cafeteria when it happened. I heard it from Mandy." A second one commented back.
"All I can say is what a total a frickin' weirdo," the third one retorted as I peered out through the crack between the stall door and wall.
Sitting back on the toilet, it became aware that I ducked in this bathroom naturally, so my mind must have taken a slip and I'd not even realized it. "Fuck, how could I be so stupid? I should have noticed that there were no urinals in here!" I thought, mentally scolding myself.
Eventually the three girls left, but I was to scared to move. Sitting there, I felt my mind take another twist and shaking my head, found that I could not brush this one off. Instead I found myself pulling down my pants and underwear and sitting on the toilet, I began to pee, all the while humming a song from one of Katherine's princess DvDs.
Finishing up, I stood up, pulled up my pants and underwear, flushed and went to wash my hands. Leaving the bathroom, I was suddenly drawn back to the here and now as I heard Thomas saying, "What the fuck do you think you're doing, man?"
Looking around, I saw my best mate storming down the hall toward me. Unable to come up with an answer, I took a page from Katherine's book and shrugged.
Storm clouds flashing across his face, he hissed at me, "I go to find you, ask you why you said that to Jessica, and here I find you coming out of the girl's restroom. Man, you must be screwed in the head if you're doing stuff like this and asking girls dumb questions like what you asked earlier."
I shrugged again and then started to open my mouth to say something, but Thomas held up a hand and said, "Save it. You know, I could have looked past the incident with the doll, but this is too much, even for me. When you figure out what the fuck is up, come find me. But make sure you see a shrink first." With this said, he turned around and made his way down the hall.
Unsure of what I should do, I listened as the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch period. Sighing heavily, I headed for my next class; math, which I didn't share with Thomas.
After school, I decided to walk home and arriving there, I threw my backpack down in my room and heading to the kitchen for a snack, called out, "Mom, I'm home." On the counter I saw a note, written in my mom's tidy handwriting.
Taking a juice box out of the fridge, I picked up the note and read, "Marcus: Katherine has a dentist and than a doctor appointment. We’ll be home around six o'clock. Try to behave yourself while I'm gone."
Sipping my juice, I decided that I want to play some Playstation Three, but stopped halfway to the living room when I remembered that the pools would be opening up today. Deciding that I'd much rather go swimming, I made my way up to my room and stripping off all my clothes, I looked into the full body mirror that was now between my desk and dresser.
Reflected back was a fifteen year old male, standing five foot one with brown hair that fell just past the shoulders and soft looking skin. Playing with my soft hair in the same manner that Katherine did, I suddenly felt my mind slipping and suddenly I wanted to show up at the pool wearing one of my sister's bathing suits. Shaking my head, wanting to stop myself, I lost the battle of will and skipping to my sister's room, began going through her dresser.
Pulling from it, I started to put on a one piece swim suit that had a pink and purple swirl pattern over it. Having tucked my penis and testicles between my legs, next I put on over the swim attire a light purple shirt with a picture of Tinker Bell on it. After that I put on a tight pair of shorts that has no buttons or zippers on it. Selecting one of Katherine's beach towels, it also has Tinker Bell on it, I skip out of the room and back into my room. Looking in the mirror, I thought to myself, "I am a pretty three year old girl and even mommy says so," and pulled from my change jar the necessary amount to enter the pool.
Next, I went down to the basement and going to the box of clothes I had earlier brought down here from Katherine's room, I stopped when I saw lying on top the last piece of clothing I brought from her closet; right before the incident with the amulet.
It’s a long white dress with long white sleeves and a black vest sewn in place over the top. On one of the sleeve is a tag that tells me that this dress is brand new and has never been worn. On the front of the box, I saw that my mother had written, 'Katherine, age three', on the side. Knowing my sister's birthday was in October, a month before mine, I wondered briefly why it had taken my mother almost until June to clean the stuff out of the closet. But then I had my answer; my father’s leaving and mother taking more shifts at the hospital.
My mind playing tug a war between my fifteen year old self and the girl that I wanted to be, I asked myself, "Why did father leave us?" but had no answer to that question.
What finally caused me to slip again was when I saw the pink and white sandals laying on the basement floor. Squealing with delight, something that is really odd for me, I pulled them on and went skipping back upstairs. Seeing that the time was about four o'clock now, I left and headed for the pool.
There, I used the woman's side of the changing rooms, rented a locker and padlock and after storing the shorts, sandals, shirt and towel in the locker, I locked it and went swimming.
For the next hour I had fun and had even started playing with some girls. And then suddenly I realized what I was wearing and the fact that I was out in public dressed like a girl. Shaking my head, I climbed out of the pool and started heading for the men's changing room, but stopped myself.
"If you're dressed like this, chances are that you came out through the woman's changing area." I told myself mentally.
Entering the woman's room, I headed for the locker and opening it, I pulled out the towel, sandals and clothes. Ducking into a shower and changing stall, hoping that I hadn't been figured out, I pulled off my swim suit and ran the shower over me. Afterward, I rung the swimsuit out and dried myself off.
Putting on the clothes I'd taken from my sister, I saw that my penis and testicles hung out. Not wanting to cause a stir, I took it all off and pulled back on the bathing suit; making sure that my penis and testicles were tucked back. Next I put back on the shirt and shorts.
Slipping the sandals on, I picked up the towel and exited the woman's locker room.
Rushing home, hoping that my mother and sister weren't home just yet, I dashed across the backyard and ducked in through the side patio door. I was just walking across the dining room, when I heard from to the left of me, "Marcus Maurice Ericson! Just what the hell do you think you are doing?"
Looking toward the kitchen, I saw my mother framed in the doorway; I was so busted.
Marching across the room, she grabbed me by the arm and looking at me, she said, "I leave you along for a couple hours and what do I come home to find? You, dressed in your sisters clothes and sopping wet. Judging by the smell, I'd say you'd been down to the pool. Let me guess, you went swimming in one of Katherine's swimsuits? Just what do you have to say for yourself?"
I only looked at her, unable to say anything. Pulling me along, she drags me to my room and sitting me down in the chair in front of my desk, she tells me, "You’re grounded Marcus. No telly, friends and allowance for a week."
Standing me up, she says to me that I’m to get undressed. As I do this, she marches out of my room and into Katherine's room. As I listened to her mumbling, "Maybe this will not only teach you, but scare you straight from ever doing something like this again," I pull off the shorts and shirt and tossed them into my closet; from the bathroom, I hear my sister humming to herself.
Looking into the mirror, seeing the five foot one fifteen year old reflected back, I asked myself, "How can this get any worse?" as I take of the swimsuit and toss it onto the closet floor.
Looking back into the mirror, I gasp at what is reflected back. I looked the same in all the areas except one. Were my penis and testicles were supposed to be was nothing but flat, smooth skin with just the smallest hint of a crease/fold.
Once, when I was about thirteen, I had accidentally seen my sister naked when she was two and I knew instantly what this was; it was a little girl's exterior genitalia; I had a vulva or vagina, “Whichever is the correct term,” I told myself.