"Sure," I mumbled unsure of how to react without giving too much away. Again she smiled and took the last bite of her peanut-butter sandwich.
"I'm done. Let's go slow poke." And before I could even clean my own plate, she started dragging me from the table.
Katherine's bedroom was perfect for any four-year-old. I could simply describe it by using two words, Disney and Princess. Now normally it would've made me gag just being in her room, but for some reason I darted for the first doll I laid eyes on and instantly embraced it like there was no tomorrow. I know this may sound strange but for the first time I think I was actually happy. Sick right? Well I don't think so, at least not any more. It was pure euphoric and for a moment it didn't seem to matter what went on.
"Marcus, look at me. I'm a ballerina."
I turned and frowned at the sight of my little sister twirling in place, a grin stretched from ear-to-ear.
"What?"
"Nothing. Now go to bed. It's time for your nap," I said throwing the baby doll against her Ariel headboard, stomping from her room. As the door closed behind me, I was sure I heard her whimpering silently to herself but I had other fish to fry. Instantly I made a v-line for our mother's room and her walk in closest.
*****
"Marcus ... Katherine ... I'm home!"
I gulped nervously, looked over at my alarm clock and started to panic. The numbers were jumbled in my head and I couldn't make out what it said. Not knowing what else to do, I quickly started shaking my head but the grogginess wasn't fading. Again I stole a glance at my alarm clock. Then after what seemed like a life time, I sat up and looked over at the nightstand.
Seven-thirty ... SEVEN-THIRTY! I had fallen asleep after spending the last four hours playing dress-up with all my mother's clothes and make-up just like any other young girl would do given the opportunity. But that wasn't the worst of it. I was wearing not only my mother's make-up I was wearing the same dress she'd laid across her bed for her nurse's conference later this evening.
"Where are you two?" my mother's voice called from the garage downstairs. The sound of her high heeled shoes drawing nearer to the kitchen's door echoed in my head.
"Mommy!" I heard Katherine yell.
"Hey, princess. Where's your brother?" I am guessing that Katherine shrugged, her most favorite thing to do whenever she didn't know what to say. "Well have you eaten yet, princess?" I didn't need to hear what Katherine's answer was because my mother went into a rage and began yelling for me to come out. Luckily I had managed to slip out of the dress, place it back where she'd placed it before heading off to work and back into what I'd been wearing before she stormed into my room.
"Was it so hard to keep an eye on your sister? Answer me, Marcus. Was it so hard to watch your sister while I went to work?" I gulped. "Damn it, Marcus. This is the last time you are ever left in charge. From now on, I'll have a babysitter here and you'll listen to everything ...."
"No. I don't need ...."
"Don't. You are obviously too young to take care of your sister, let alone yourself. Now move it to the living room. I have a telephone call to make before getting ready to go this evening."
A half hour passed before the doorbell rang and my mother came out of her room.
"Ah the babysitter is here. Would you get the door, Marcus?"
Slowly I reached for the door knob and before I could pull the door open, the door pushed my elbow into my stomach. Instantly I was stunned, but I don't know what stunned me more. The sharp jolt to my stomach or the person who was standing behind the door.
"Hello. You must be Marcus." It became clear what my mother had planned. She wanted this tiny brown haired girl to keep an eye on Katherine so I could be free to do whatever I wanted with my best mate Thomas.
"Yes. Come in. Katherine is in her room and I ...."
"You're going no place. I run a tight shift while I'm in charge and no one goes any place without asking me if it is alright and only if I go with them. However, if your mother tells me it is alright you may have a friend come over until it's time for beddy bye time."
"Who do you think you are talking to, little ...."
"Marcus!" At the sound of my mother's voice I froze terrified to say anything else. "Please come in, Samantha."
For the next ten minutes or so I won't bore you with the details of what was said. Yet I'll say this, this seventh grade girl known only as Samantha turned out to be the youngest daughter of my mother's boss and if I misbehaved, my mother said she'd have me castrated. She also said that should I not listen to what Samantha said, I'd regret it more than if I were castrated. So instead of trying to argue with my mother, more like not wanting to lose my manhood, I simply stomped off to my room, slammed the door and started to blare the music as loud as it would go.
*****
A week passed without so much as those truly strange thoughts of playing with dolls, but still any time a girl were to be near me, I still had the thoughts about wanting to wear a dress just like they had on or wondered if I would look as pretty as them when I grew up. But after the week, I learned to snap back to reality all I needed was someone to say my name or start talking around me if shaking my head didn't clear my thoughts.
"Hey Marcus, why do you do that?" Thomas asked me on Thursday at lunch.
"Do what?"
"Shake your head every time you're around people?"
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."
"Hey lets get together and play some ball on Saturday."
"Can't I have to watch my little sister."
"Man you always have to watch your little sister. When can we ever get together and play some ball?"
I tried to ignore Thomas as we exited the cafeteria but his annoying voice kept making me wish I was elsewhere. I don't know if it was me wishing this or the fact that the most gorgeous girl in the senior year walked by but my mind immediately slipped and for the first time since fifth grade I was completely humiliated as I said something out loud.
"Jessica, will I look like you when I get older? I want to be just like you when I'm older."
Apparently, I'd not only asked this loud enough for the entire cafeteria to hear what I was saying because the next thing I knew was the entire room burst out laughing.