Sam:
At breakfast the announcement was made about Mrs. Martines' death. When it was made I looked at Anna and saw her break down. Miss Ketcher hugged her trying to comfort her but I saw tears streaming down her own face. It made me sad to see them so sad. I was brought out of my thoughts by the announcement that Mrs. Martines' funeral would be in two days.
After breakfast I walked around the compound for awhile thinking about my gender. While I knew that I wasn't a transsexual I wondered if I should stay male. I wasn't missing being female as much as I should. Was it my fear that was responsible for that? Maybe I should go find Miss Ketcher and ask her opinion.
I found Miss Ketcher and Anna at a fish pond in the gardens of the compound. It was one of the few places in the compound that was untouched by the war so far. It was a peaceful place which is why they were here I guess. I didn't want to disturb them but I trusted Miss Ketcher and I needed to talk with someone.
Miss Ketcher seemed to hear me approach since she turned and said "Hi Sam."
"Hi Miss Ketcher, Anna" I said. I walked up and leaned on the rail to look at the fish in the pond. "I'm sorry to bother you two but I need your opinion."
"What's bugging you Sam?" Miss Ketcher asked.
"I'm trying to decide whether I should stay male or change back to being female" I said. "On the one hand I know that I'm not a transsexual. On the other I'm not missing being a female as much as I thought I would. In fact I don't think I'm missing it as much as I should."
"So you're a bit confused" Miss Ketcher said. "I can understand that. I was a bit confused when I was male. I had this certainty that I was supposed to be female but I was male instead. Since becoming Bonded and female I haven't missed being male. In my case it was because I was transsexual but that isn't what's confusing you. You're confused because you know that you are female but there is something about being male that appeals to you. Does it have
anything to do with what your father did to you?"
"I think it might" I said. "Since my father did that I've felt a fear whenever I was around other males or in insecure situations. When I was in the company of women it was muted but still present."
"Why would that be?" Miss Ketcher asked. "I can understand the fear around other males but I can't see where it comes in around women."
"I never told anyone that my father had cut me before" I said. "He had told me that he would kill my mom if I told anyone that he cut me. My best friend had seen the scars on my breasts one time and I lied to her saying that I had cut myself. You were the first one that I told the truth to."
"So not only did he make you afraid of other males but he made you afraid of people finding out" Miss Ketcher said. "Are you afraid now?"
"No" I said.
"Why is that do you think?" Miss Ketcher asked.
"I think that it's because I'm male now" I said.
"Why would that make a difference?" Miss Ketcher asked.
"My father had wanted a boy" I said. "The reason that he cut me was that some mysterious people told him that it would turn me into a boy. Well I'm a boy now so my father got his wish. Too bad he didn't live to see it. He killed himself before I graduated from high school."
"Have you considered that you're not afraid now because you told me what your father did?" Miss Ketcher asked.
I was stunned by this. I hadn't considered that possibility but I suppose that it could be that. I had told Miss Ketcher about my father cutting me just before she transformed me. I tried to remember precisely when I started to feel less afraid but I couldn't. Was it possible that all I needed to do to be rid of that fear was to tell someone? Maybe the only way to tell would be to turn back into a female.
"I hadn't considered that" I said after a bit. "Do you think that it's that simple to be rid of my fear?"
"I don't think that you'd be completely rid of it" Miss Ketcher said. "Though you can deal with it better now."
"Thanks Miss Ketcher" I said. "You helped me decide what to do."
"You're welcome Sam" Miss Ketcher said.
"I hope you're happy with your decision" Anna said.
"I hope I am too" I said. "I'll see you two later."
"Bye Sam" Miss Ketcher and Anna said at the same time.
I left them to watch the fish and made my way back to Dianne and Rosie's. I had made my decision and I figured that they had a right to know. As I entered the house I saw Dianne King and Rosie Catrelle on the couch watching the news for the President's address.
"Miss King, Miss Catrelle, I need to tell you something" I said.
"What is it Sam?" Miss King asked with a worried look on her face. Miss Catrelle had the same worried look on her face.
"I decided to change my gender again" I said.
Miss King smiled and said "I thought that this was coming. Luke had told me that you had asked him what it was like growing up as a male in a female body. From what he said he didn't think that it applied to you."
"Well could one of you change my gender?" I asked.
"Of course" Miss Catrelle said. "Which one of us do you want to transform you?"
"Well either one will do" I said. "I don't really have a preference."
"Then I'll change you" Dianne said. "We'll go into your room to do this."
Me, Miss King, and Miss Catrelle went to my room. Once we were in my room Miss King said "Alright Sam, strip."
Feeling a little embarrassed I striped out of my clothes. I had known that I would have to but still the embarrassment was there. I had taken off all of my clothes except for my boxers. I hesitated taking them off. I was an eight year old boy at the moment and they were adult women. I then reminded myself that I didn't feel like this in front of Miss Ketcher when she transformed me the first time. Though she was thirteen at the time. Finally I took off my boxers and stood
there totally naked.
"Crystal in hand" Miss King said. Her crystal appeared in her hand and she handed it to me. "Now before I do this I need to know if you're sure this is what you want."
"I'm sure" I said. "I want to go back to being a girl."
"Alright then" Miss King said. "Female, eight."
The change started with my hair growing longer. It grew to a little past my shoulders like I had it when I was eight the first time. I could feel my face changing slightly. My waist narrowed ever so slightly. The last thing to change was my balls pulled up into my body, the ball sack started forming my labia, my dick shrank to form my clit, and my womb, fallopian tubes, and vagina formed while my balls changed into ovaries. I was once again a girl and it felt great. It was like coming home after a long time away. I knew now that I was meant to be a girl. The fear that I had felt was still gone as far as I could tell.
"Well let's get you dressed" Miss King said. "We took the liberty of getting you a few girl clothes so you wouldn't be running around the compound naked."
Miss Catrelle handed me a pair of pink panties with red and white hearts on them, a pink sun dress, and a pair of pink sandals with white flowers on top. Once I had them on I really felt like I was back home. How could I have ever thought about being a boy?
Miss King had left my room and when she came back she said "It looks like the President is about to make his speech."