...the local YMCA. The Men's locker room, inside of the Lost & Found box, to be exact. You figure that an expensive looking lamp, such as your current "home," won't stay in the cardboard cube for very long. Imagine your surprise when, a short time later, you hear someone swear, then stomp over to the Lost & Found box and, in a deep, deep voice exclaim: "Thank GOD! I can't believe I forgot my jock when I left home!"
A hairy, muscular hand reaches into the box, and removes your former master. You sit down on your bottle's couch and turn on the high definition, wide screen television. Picking up the remote, you turn on the special features menu and select the "Hear Thoughts" feature and set it to read the jock strap's mind. Mentally, you pat yourself on the back for leaving the teenager sentient and aware of what is happening to him.
'OHGOD!OHGOD!OHGOD!' is all the jock strap/your former master is thinking, so, after the hairy muscle man has pulled the jock over his surprisingly tiny, shrived cock and balls ('must be a steroid user,' you think), you shut off the mind reading feature. Watching the muscular man disappear into the weight room, you start flipping channels, finally settling on watching Star Trek reruns while waiting for someone to come and rub your lamp.
Annoyingly, a towel smelling of mildew gets tossed atop the lamp by college aged guy, who doesn't even glance into the box. Other clothes pile up, until finally, after a month, the box is picked, placed into some vehicle, and delivered to a second hand store!
You find the lamp unceremoniously dumped onto a table, examined (with no rubbing), labeled with a price (which you think is far too low!), and stuck on a shelf.
A few days pass, along with a few customers, until, finally, someone stops in front of the bottle and picks it up. Your new Master is: