Before Carrie could leap to protect her husband, Bugzy grabbed him by the neck with one hand and stepped on his tail with the other, He quickly yanked upwards on John’s neck, stretching his tail. He flipped John around and swiftly tied a knot in his tail. He then stepped on John’s rump and gave the tail a couple of quick, hard yanks to ensure the knot didn’t slip. John's eyes bug-out during the process. He then set John back on his rear paws, produced a small broom and whisked the dust off his shoulders and chest.
“How’s that, boss?”
“Bon. You may go back to your office, Bugzy.”
“Thanks, boss.” The thug squeezed back through the door into the restaurant.
Carrie stared dumbstruck a moment. John looked dazed as the action happened too fast for him to really feel it. He flicked his tail a couple times. It wasn’t painful, but a little uncomfortable. “I’m alright, hon,” he stated. “It feelz a bit odd, but it doesn’t hurt.”
The matradee nodded. “Now, if you’ll follow me, I’ll show vous to your table.”
As he led them through the restaurant, they saw that there were toons of every sort in booths and at tables including several skunks, all with knots in their tails.
“Was that your bouncer?” Carrie asked.
“Boucer?” the matradee paused and started to chuckle. “Ah, non madame, that eeze moi pastry chef. Heez pie crusts are zee flakiest vous will ever try.” He stopped at a table set for two. “I hope theeze will do.”
“Oui,” John replied, not even realizing he was using Franglais.
The two looked over their menus. Though the matradee spoke Franglais, the restaurant seemed to feature a little of everything on the menu from French to Italian to American to Chinese. Eventually, an octopus arrived to take their order and suggest which wine would complement which entrée. They settled for the special with a chardonnay.
At the next table over, a toon hippo was living up to his reputation of being able to put food away as he ate plate after plate of just about everything on the menu. Among the items in front of him were several buckets of baked beans. All of sudden, he paused from eating and held onto his gut as it started to rumble. Several toons at other tables yelled, “TAKE COVER!!!”
All around John and Carrie, others braced themselves as the hippo suddenly passed gas. But this wasn’t some small fart. It came out with the noise and intensity of a wind storm. The restaurant’s front windows were blown out along with several patrons. Some bus passing by out front pulled-over thinking they had a flat. The hippo’s flatulence last for more than 30 seconds. Through the whole thing, Carrie and John gripped onto their table for dear life as they were lifted in the air rippling from the edge of the table like a couple of flags in a hurricane. When it was all over, the hippo meekly mumbled “pardon” and continued to eat.
John and Carrie pulled themselves up off the floor. Carrie’s fur was all tussled and an absolute mess. There were tears in her eyes at the indignity she’d been through. John felt he had no choice. He picked himself off the floor, brushed the dust off his pelt and went over to the hippo. The hippo ignored John as he continued to eat rapidly.
John cleared his throat. The hippo didn’t notice him. John tapped him on the shoulder and again, the hippo ignored him. John started to fume. You could see smoke coming out of his ears. Other patrons started to move away from John and the hippo. John yanked the hippo’s plate away from him to get his attention. The hippo finally looked up at him and glared.
“How. Dare. You!” John stated in a non-nonsense tone. He pointed to the hippo with a finger and pointed back to Carrie with his tail. “How dare you, do a thing like that in front of my wife.” He glared indignantly at the hippo.
The hippo looked at him, looked at Carrie and replied, “My apologies, miss. If I had known it was your turn, I would have let you go first.”
The hippo then slid the plate back in front of him and continued eating. John stared in disbelief. Carrie tried hard to stifle the laughter that was building up inside of her, but the giggles started to escape, which turned into full body laughter. She fell over laughing her tail off. John continued to stare, but now he was staring at his wife. The laughter was contagious and before long, he, too, was laughing.
Eventually, they both calmed down to just giggles and sat back at their table. “I think theeze eeze going to be an interesting vacation,” John quipped as their waiter brought their meal to them.