"Just how gay are you, little man?" asks a strange voice,"Or maybe I
should ask what would you do to be the big man?"
The voice was said in a normal voice, but it had come from a dark
hallway that Ryan must have passed earlier, but he hadn't noticed it.
He asked, "Hello?" tentatively into the darkness.
"Come on, lil man, I haven't got all day," said the voice apparently
coming from the second doorway down the hall.
"Who are you?"
"Well, I guess I do have all day, all eternity in fact, but I have
better things to do than wait around for you to grow the balls to go
into a dark hallway," snapped the voice.
"I'm not afraid!" snapped Ryan as he stumbled through the doorway
tripping out of his oversize shoes and catching himself on the heavy
brass door knob. "Uh, it's just a little awkward getting around in my
clothes at present."
"Ah, now there I can help," the voice said from behind the open door.
Ryan spun around and flung the door shut. Instantly, the room was
illuminated by two dozen candles spontaneously lighting. There was a
twenty-something guy in what looked like a 17th Century swashbuckling
pirate costume. He had long black ringlets, and a goatee with a three
day growth of beard. He was sitting on a tall chest of drawers. He
leaned on his side and pulled open the top left drawer.
"I think this will fit you," he said holding up some distressed
leather shorts with shiny brass rings on them.
"What's that?"
"Clothing in your size, of course. I can't carry on a conversation
with a boy dressed as ridiculously as you are in those clown sized
garments. You obviously met my sister. Just so you know she didn't
really make you younger, she just stole your adolescence. Now that may
not make sense phrased that way, but it's the most concise way. Now
put these on while I explain the long version. That is if you want an
explanation?" He held out the shorts and Ryan grabbed them.
"Okay, I'll put them on, now explain away."
"Right, oh!" grinned the pirate smiling as Ryan turned his back and
dropped his trousers. "First off, you'll find if you leave this house
that everyone you know will remember that you're the boy who had a
really delayed puberty. Probably, these days doctors will give you
growth hormones and testosterone and you'll finally go through
puberty, and they'll congratulate themselves that they cured you. If
the doctors don't treat you, you'll go through late puberty all the
same. What are you 18 or 19? Probably, won't grow that much in height,
so you won't be your former stature. Were you an athlete?" In response
to Ryan's nod, he says, "Too bad. All your athletic exploits will be
forgotten -except by you- everyone else will remember you as the wimp
who got wedgies daily and swirlies weekly. I think that's what you
call those popular bully tortures. Anyway, that's what your life will
be like if you leave now. But if you stay?"
"If I stay, what?" Ryan said turning to face the pirate guy. The brass
rings jangled as he turned.
"Bravo!" the man applauded as he looked at the 19 year old pre-
pubescent wearing the buttery soft leather shorts which seemed to mold
to the contours of Ryan's lithe body. "You got those to fit. You've
got determination. Half the guys in your situation refused to wear the
leathers. Still fewer of those went on to do what I required of them
to regain their former stature. Now I know you like women," he said
sliding around to the other end of the dresser. He rested his chin on
his hands as he lustily studied Ryan, "How do you feel about men?"
"You pervert!" snapped Ryan angrily reaching for his clothing on the
floor.
The pirate laughed, "Well, I am my sister's brother, now aren't I?"
The clothing disintegrated in Ryan's hands as if it were made of dust
and cobwebs.
"What the -?"
"You won't be needing those any more. Besides they don't fit!"
"You said you could make me back into my former self."
"I said you could become a big man - I never said anything about
former self. Tch, tch, perhaps you have hearing problems? More likely
listening -" he sighed.
"Okay, well, if I'm going to be a big man won't I need big clothes."
"We'll cross that bridge if you get that far on your journey. Right
now you're boring me, and I-" he yawned. The candles in the room
flickered. About half the candles went out.
"Okay, what do you want?" Ryan said desperately.
"What does any man want?" the pirate asked. Then he winked.
The candlelight dimmed to total darkness. Ryan stood there in the
silence for what seemed like an eternity, but was only a few seconds.
Then the lights came back up. The room was no longer dusty. The old
furnishings shone as if they were brand new. Daylight streamed in from
the no-longer-shuttered windows.
Ryan dashed to the window with his brass rings jingling all the way.
He peered out the hand blown glass window panes at a very different
countryside. There were rolling fields, dirt roads, carriages with
horses, and people dressed in period clothing, and weirdest of all it
was daytime. It was as if the whole house had been moved through time
and space.