Ryan skips hurriedly toward the stairs. At the top of the bannister Hamlet's puppet is crumpled on top of the bannister. Ryan pauses to look at the eerily familiar countenance. It's not really a skull, but a skull-caricature of a face. Mike's face. Come to think of it Sei looked a lot like Hamlet.
"Pssst!" hissed the puppet.
"Whoa, that Hamlet can sure throw his voice," whispered Ryan/Puck in surprise.
"Ryan it's me Mike! That weirdo in the pirate get up turned me into a puppet. Pick me up, it's hard to speak without a hand inside me."
Puck glanced over his shoulder, no one was looking. So he grabbed the puppet and continued down the stairs.
"See Sei doesn't know he's Sei, he thinks he's some sort of Danish comic. The idiot doesn't even realize he's Asian! Your memory seems to be working okay, right, Ryan?"
"Yeah, I'm Ryan and the pirate guy turned me into elf boy."
"You're not Legolas, you're Puck, if you got the real Puck's powers you might be able to change us all back."
"You're kidding right? Like that guy would give me that much power?"
"He's an arrogant SOB, probably figures he'd be able to reverse whatever you did, or maybe it's some sort of game with him. Could you scratch my nose, I swear I've gotten termites since being changed into wood."
"Mike, you now sport wood 24/7 wasn't that your big wish after you had the uh, awkward night with Carmen."
"Ha, ha, well, at least I'm not as Pucked up as you Ryan. Speaking of sporting wood, those shorts don't hide much, and since there are no women about why is God's gift to women so horny?"
"Cause there are no women, and I want some badly."
"Or else he pucked with your brain and you get boners when you see guys?"
"Ah, Hamlet there you are. You left this puppet upstairs."
"He told me to leave him up there," says Hamlet reluctantly taking Mike. Looking furtively around he adds, "He talks to me for real. Did he talk to you?"
"Oh, yeah wood talks."
"My wood sure is talking. I think my tights are too tight. I sure could use a blowjob right now."
To Ryan's horror, his puckish voice answered, "Sure, Hammy, I've got time for a quick one. Just remember you'll owe me a favor later."
Ryan felt his hands reach for Hamlet's codpiece, as he knees bent.
The puppet looked down at him from Sei's hand and snickered, "See I told you!"
Ryan/Puck would've had a witty reply but his mouth was already full, and Sei really did need relief badly.
"Thanks I owe you, Puck," Sei said shealthing his sword back in its codpiece.
Ryan just stood tight lipped and nodded. His mouth and throat were full of Sei's slime. He couldn't spit it out where he or others would see it, and he couldn't bring himself to swallow it. He headed out the front doors breathing through his nose.
A hearty slap on the back not only startled him but forced an immediate solution to his problem.