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Pleasure Island

I thought these were supposed to be condoms, not a rubber gloves.

added 13 years ago O

If you need a condom, then you'll wear a condom. However, you've never really cared about what kind of condoms you use, so you reach out and grab the closest box without bothering to look at the packaging. All that matters is the idea that the sooner you get this thing onto your unit, the sooner you can presumably move on to the fun of using it with someone, so why waste time reading a load of empty promises about how this brand is more pleasurable/durable/flavorful/eco-friendly/whatever than its competitors? The box you choose seems heavier than the average box of contraceptives, but you don't give any thought to the matter until you pull open the end flaps and discover a single ridiculously huge foil packet wedged inside.

Now you're curious. Maybe you should take the time to read the packaging after all.

Unfortunately, the box is less than informative. All it says is "Lucky Lefty: an authentic Love Glove brand condom" in big bold letters with a generic clip-art type drawing of a hand making a thumbs up sign, and then underneath that, in smaller letters, "Love Glove, Co., giving romance a helping hand since 1958!" You rip the box apart, hoping to see something resembling useful information printed on the inside surface, but the plain blank cardboard that you find there seems to mock you.

You tear open the foil packet, just to see what this so-called Love Glove could be. You half expect to discover that it's all a joke and the packet holds an oversized York Peppermint Patty, because you can't imagine even something meant for a horse being that big. What you actually find looks like someone took a yellow heavy-duty elbow-length rubber glove, like a bigger version of what your mom wears when she washes the dishes, and rolled it up like a giant condom.

This has to be a joke, but you decide to play along just to see what happens, and playing along means wearing this so-called Love Glove. Now you just need to figure out whether this thing is really meant to be worn on your dick or on your hand.


What do you do now?


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