You wake feeling strangely heavy. You appear to be your former size
and shape, but you still don't feel quite yourself. You look around
your room, but it feels oddly alien but it is just the way you left it
before you were turned into a fairy. You rub your head. Maybe it was
all just a dream?
You vaguely recall a fairy fellow dressed in red and green recite a
familiar passage from Shakespeare but with a twist at the end. What
was it he said as you drifted off from the dream world to the waking
world? Oh, yes, now you remember:
” If we shadows have offended,
Think but this, and all is mended,
That you have but slumber’d here
While these visions did appear.
And this weak and idle theme,
No more yielding but a dream,
Gentles, do not reprehend:
if you pardon, we will mend:
And, as I am an honest Puck,
Just know you're f--ked.
Enjoy being an internet troll,
Mwahahahaha!"
Internet troll? You shake your head and go to your computer to check
the internet. Your computer boots up and pings "You've got mail."
But before you can do anything, a window opens on your computer that
says "UPLOADING TROLL."
You cannot move. You sit there awkwardly frozen in midreach for the
keyboard. You feel giddy, then queasy. Your insides feel empty. Out of
the corner of your eye you can see your foot disintegrating. Holy
Tron! You are being uploaded bodily to the internet. It's a slow
painful process, and you kick yourself for not shelling out the big
bucks for a T1 line.
It takes fifteen minutes to complete your digital upload, and now the
computer spends another five minutes decompressing your file. The
digital world is fast, noisy and confusing. Everything is happening at
nearly the speed of light. You are dizzy as your mind adjusts to try
to process everything. You are able to recognize that your body is
distorted with big feet, short thick legs, a tail, bulging belly and
pointed ears. Good grief you really are a troll. Files race by like
cars on the autobahn. You suddenly feel the urge to find a forum,
bulletin board or other site where you can do what internet trolls do
best.
You find yourself on...