Interviews are very hard to come by in this economy, especially for a
kid with no real-world experience. But you know you look perfect and
being first in your class must count for something.
The interview is in a large gated mansion. Odd, you think...this does
not LOOK like a company. You're greeted by a maid who escorts you into
a large office with a big Italian looking man seated with the
lingering scent of a fine cigar.
He motions for you to sit down in the nicest office chair you've ever
seen. It is incredibly comfortable.
"My name is Mr. DiPaulo", the large man begins. "You're here because
we have an opening for an accountant to run the family business. We
need the accountant to have not just an understanding of accounting
and tax law, but to also be creative when necessary. We also need him
to not have preconceived notions of how things must be done, which is
why I am looking to hire somebody with just academic experience to
start. Your grades are impressive, to say the least, which is why I
want to give you the opportunity to work for me. Any questions so
far?"
"Mr. DiPaulo, if you don't mind, what sort of business does your
family do?", you ask afraid to know the answer.
"We manage several different types of businesses and do some importing
and exporting. That is all I am willing to say at this point."
Mr. DiPaulo asks some basic accounting questions, puts out some
hypothetical scenarios, and you answer the questions confidently and
flawlessly. You feel the interview could not be going better, but
there is the nagging feeling this guy is the head of an organized
crime family.
Mr. DiPaulo, satisfied with your response, says "I think you are the
right person for the position. Can you start tomorrow?"
"Thank you very much for the offer! I have just one more question, if
you don't mind."
"Shoot."
"Why did the previous accountant leave?", you ask.
"Fair and good question. Let's just say that he and I had
philosophical differences and he inappropriately disclosed some of our
financial information to the wrong parties"
Oh crap, he obviously ratted them out the Feds, you think. No, this
just won't work....
"Your starting salary will be $75,000 with the potential to make an
additional $150,000 in bonuses if the business does well and your
performance warrants it".
Your eyes widen, but you try to contain yourself. Obviously this is
NOT what you had in mind, but the money would sure be nice. But no
way.
"Mr. DiPaulo, I cannot tell you how much I appreciate the offer, but I
just don't think it will be right for me. I am just too, well,
conservative with my approach to accounting".
Mr. DiPaulo smiles. "Yes, I can see that and that is EXACTLY why
you're perfect for the position. You know the RIGHT way to do
something and the BEST way. And perhaps I wasn't clear about one
thing. I am not ASKING you if you want the job. This is your job and I
strongly suggest you show up Monday. I hope we understand each other."
"Oh no! What did I get myself into??? He's gonna kill me or my parents
if I don't comply!", you think to yourself.
Mr. DiPaulo hands you a cigar. "Now, let's celebrate with a fine
Cuban!"
Nervously, you say "I'm sorry, but I don't smoke." and start to hand
him back the cigar.
He looks directly at you, and flicks his lighter. You have no choice
but to put it into your mouth. You've seen guys light cigars before,
so you try puffing. The cigar end flares up and glows perfectly. The
smoke is not nearly so bad as you thought it would be and actually
tastes really good!
Mr. DiPaulo says, "There, that wasn't so hard now was it? You'll find
I will take good care of you as long as you listen and trust me."
"Yes sir" you say fearing to say anything else.
As you puff away, your head begins to spin a bit. You feel really
good, but a little high. Is this what cigars are supposed to feel
like, you wonder, or is it tainted? Oh well, who cares you think to
yourself, it feels just awesome!
Mr. DiPaulo continues with some small talk about his teenage son and
daughter and asks about your family. For some reason, you feel much
more comfortable now with him and trust him completely. Any thoughts
or ideas of escape completely faded from your memory. You feel
content.
After finishing the cigars, Mr. DiPaulo says "I'll see you Monday
morning, meet me here. I'll tell you what you need to know about the
business."