Bridget watched as Brian lay on the couch with his butt high in the air. She once again
thanked god she brought that gas mask over yesterday as a joke. It sure came in handy,
because Brian had not stopped farting for over an hour. The whole time he complained
how his butt felt like it was on fire.
Bridget thought back to earlier in the day before all this started. Brian felt different when
he woke up, and quickly invited her over. When she arrived she noticed that he had a
giant flower in his right lapel. Through experimentation they soon discovered that close
proximity to the flower caused it to spray water in her face. Brian apparently had no
trigger mechanism for it himself, and was just as amazed that it would spray. He handed
her the handkerchief from his left breast pocket to dry off. She pulled and pulled and
ended up with twenty handkerchiefs and a pair of boxers all tied together. Again Brian had
no idea how that happened, but was able to easily put them back into his pocket like he
had done it for his whole life. Bridget quietly and discreetly pulled out her list and
checked it. She realized that these traits were not on it. “The ointment strikes again,” she
thought.
The other thing Bridget quickly noticed was Brian’s mannerisms. He tended to cartwheel
and tumble around the room when he moved. It first came to her attention when Brian
asked her if she wanted something to drink and she said yes. He then cart wheeled into
the kitchen, and did forward rolls back with her drink. Amazingly he did not spill a drop.
“Thanks,” she said while looking at him strangely.
“What, Hyuck?” Brian asked her.
“You just did a bunch of gymnastics to get me my drink!”
“”Oh my, Hyuck, God!” Brian shouted as he realized she was right. “I did, didn’t I?”
“Yeah you did.”
Brian farted and brought out his unicycle. He quickly pedaled around the room in circles,
scuffing the hard wood floors. “What am I going to do? This gets, duh, worse all the
time!” Brian yelled at her as he started to panic. He then almost absentmindedly picked
up some household objects and started juggling them.
“Weird,” Bridget thought. She then pulled out her list again, making sure Brian didn’t see
her. She realized everything had come true on her list but the fireworks coming out of his
butt. She had made herself laugh with that one, and didn’t really expect it to happen, but
everything else had. Hell if he can produce a unicycle out of his butt, why not fireworks?
“Wonder when they’ll start?” She thought to herself,
“Hopefully after dark! They’ll be so pretty!”
Throughout the day Brian would talk and behave more like himself when they were
relaxing and watching TV, but as soon as they talked about what was happening or
anything serious Brian’s speech impediment would start and he would soon begin to fall
down clumsily. None of this escaped Bridget’s notice.
It was a little after dusk that Brian began to fart more steadily. He had of course farted
through out the day because of his chronic flatulence, but now it was happening a lot
more frequently.
“Wha..What’s going on, Hee Hee?’ Brian looked at Bridget with panic on his face.
Bridget grabbed Brian by his stomach and tried to reassure him. “You’re going to be all
right.”
“All right? Duh, I’ve turned into a clown Bridget! And now I can’t stop farting!” He then
turned away from her, but as she was still holding his stomach all that happened was Brian
succeeded in shaking his own stomach causing the calliope music to play. “Der, Great!
Now at least we’ll be entertained as we watch me fart myself to death!”
Brian began to fart even more violently than yesterday, but it felt like the farts were getting
hotter and hotter. That’s when Brian laid down on the couch and began to moan in pain.
Bridget noticed that the smell was worse than normal, and it was plenty bad normally. It
was almost like it had a sulpher smell mixed in. After about ten minutes of the nasty farts
Bridget put on the gas mask. Brian probably didn’t even notice, as he filled the house with
toxic fumes. Bridget could do nothing but watch.
After about fifteen more minutes Bridget thought she saw little sparks around Brian’s butt.
“The fireworks…” she whispered to herself. “Brian get outside now!”
“What? Why?” he looked at her with little understanding on his face.
“Just do it! And pull your pants down when you get out there!” She grabbed his arm and
pulled him up.
Brian grabbed his butt and ran outside squeaking and farting. When he ran outside he
pulled his pants down like Bridget instructed him to do so, and was amazed.
Both watched in shock and awe as the most amazing fireworks display they had ever seen
launched out of Brian’s butt. It lasted for what seemed like forever and ended with a
grand finale that lit up the whole sky. Brian who had been bending over with his butt in
the air, and looking over his shoulder at the fire works display finally slumped down to the
ground exhausted.
“What next?” Brian asked as he rolled over onto his back.
Bridget saw Brian’s heels glow quickly signaling his transformation was over. She then
stepped onto Brian’s stomach and he noticeably winced as a fart escaped his butt. Bridget
smiled because she knew it wasn’t her weight, but the fart that bothered him.
“I repeat,” Brian yelled at nobody, “What next?”
“How about a new name,” Bridget asked as she began to bounce on Brian’s trampoline
stomach, him releasing a small fart with each bounce.
“What? Why?”
“Because you’re the world’s greatest clown now, and Brian isn’t the best clown name.”
“I’m not a clown,” Brian said bitterly.
“Yes you are,” she smiled at him maliciously. “I know. For now on your Funzo T. Clown!”
“Brian looked at her and realized she was right, he was a clown now. And would probably
always be one. Brian leaned his head back slowly resigning himself to his fate.
Bridget was laughing her butt off as she bounced higher and higher. “Yep. You’re Funzo
T. Clown for now on. What a great night.”
Funzo picked up his head and looked at her disbelieving. “How is this a great night?”
Bridget just looked up into the night sky as she bounced. “It just is Funzo. It just is.”