Caitlyn sat in a chair in the principal’s office, her mother, Alice, next to her. Caitlyn was
having a hard time listening to the principal talk, she was busy playing with the ends if her
pink cloak or the brim of her pink beret. This is what she wore when she went outside
over her clown outfit to keep her warm. She tuned in to hear what the principal was telling
her mother.
“…and the constant farting in class is hugely disruptive,” the principal continued.
“Well, my baby can’t help that. Since her… change… she has been quite gassy. That’s a
natural by product.” Alice defended, and as if to punctuate the statement Caitlyn lifted her
butt cheek from the chair and farted. Both she and Alice stifled a small giggle.
“Okay. I understand that,” said the principal. “But it seems as if she squeezes herself in
the slightest she farts.”
Both mother and daughter looked at each other and smiled a little.
“Also the juggling and unicycle riding during class are disruptive to the students. They
concentrate on Caitlyn and not the teacher.”
“Well you know my daughter has ADHD, and with her new condition,” Alice leaned over and
honked Caitlyn’s nose foe emphasis, “She really cannot help herself. She’s just doing what
comes naturally.”
“Does that include the ear shattering burps she does during lunch time? We have a whole
cafeteria of children trying to outdo your child in burping contests, and she is constantly
rattling windows with her belches.”
“My baby doesn’t like to lose.” Alice and Caitlyn glared straight ahead at the principal as
they high fived, or in Caitlyn’s case high foured, to demonstrate pride n her abilities.
“What about the smaller kids jumping off her stomach like its some sort of trampoline
during recess. Someone could get hurt.”
“And the teacher doesn’t stop this?”
“Well she does…”
“So why is Caitlyn in trouble for that? It sounds like she is doing what comes naturally.”
“Yeah!” Caitlyn interjected.
“Hush baby, let mommy take care of this,” Alice reassured her little 10 year old clown.
“Alright, I’ll concede that point. Bit her teacher has noticed when she is writing on the
board she can feel someone place a kick-me sign on her back, and thinks its Caitlyn.” The
principal said.
“And she sees Caitlyn doing this?” Alice inquired
“No. That’s the funny thing. Caitlyn is always at the desk in the back of the room.”
“And how far away is that from the board?”
“Around twenty feet, but the teacher swears it’s almost like she can see Caitlyn’s arm
snapping back like a rubber band.”
Alice glared at Caitlyn in disapproval. They had talked and mean jokes on the teacher were
definitely not allowed. Caitlyn did the only thing she could do, she smiled nervously at her
mother and honked her nose.
“I understand, but I have to take into account the other students. If Caitlyn keeps behaving
the way she has been we may need to expel her.” The principal said with a seriousness
about him.
Alice and Caitlyn both leaned forward at this. Caitlyn in shock, and Alice in anger. “For
what behavior sir?” Alice said angrily.
“The way she acts in class.”
“And how does she act in class?”
“Like a, you know.”
“No, I don’t. Like a what?”
“Like a, a…”
“Like a what?”
“Like a …class clown.” That’s when the principal received a pie in the face.