Molly and I silently walked home after the conclusion of the meeting and the man "Patten's" little speech.
"Do you think I'm hate filled?" I asked her after a moment.
"No," Molly said quickly, "confrontational with people who do wrong... but not hate filled."
We walked a little ways quietly.
"Some of what he's said may have had some truth to it... but he's missed an awful lot," Molly told me.
"I never threatened your Uncle or anyone on the City Council," I spoke, "neither did I make him choose between Meredeth and Nessie."
"No..." Molly sighed, "but you did make him choose between his job and me."
"Because of Beauregard's stunt with that Fatal Attractions TV crew," I sighed, "He said your Uncle was a R.A.M. member and that that was how he knew how to pull off that stunt..."
"I know," Molly nodded, "but we both now that we both over-reacted to that... after all you said Uncle Frank's name was not in the notebook of R.A.M. members."
I sighed and looked down. I knew I had a bit of a temper, that I tried hard to keep under control. Patten's remarks did get under my skin and fur, but it left me too confused to be angry. Everything I had done had been done to protect Molly. To give her the life she deserved. One where she could be happy and free. And I was more then willing to bear the burdens of doing so.
Much of what he said was completely off base, though. I had never threatened anyone on the City Council or parents of students. The only reason I had come to this meeting was because Molly had asked me to come, not because I particularly wanted to. People like Hireman angered me more then anything Patten had said, and I preferred to be where I didn't have to listen to their own ranting.
And it also sounded to me like he was defending the ideologies that Beauregard and other R.A.M. members had advocated. Beauregard didn't simply propose mild measures to protect people in case there was a problem. He advocated we be locked in a jail cell and only used when the situation merited it... and in a small town, how many instances would a tiger or tigress really be needed? Had we been locked away, the Mountain Lion would have killed Megan Jenkins because Officer Barnes and the Animal Control officers would not have arrived in time to shoot the wild cat... and that Molly would have been held in a jail cell...
And even if the other R.A.M. members weren't as fanatical as Beauregard in that area, they certainly never argued with him. They never questioned his ideas and followed him dutifully. And no one ever came to talk politely with Molly or with myself after I was transformed to find out about how truly animal-like we were. They merely assumed that Beauregard's charge that we were non-sentient beings in both body and mind, and ranted and protested until Beauregard's own scheming caught up with him. It was only AFTER that that the people Patten claimed I threatened even bothered to learn anything about Molly and I.
And after that sort of treatment... after seeing Molly's own blood parents reject her, I wondered who could really blame me for being somewhat aggressive in Molly's defense. I mean when Beauregard and R.A.M. began their series of schemes, how was I supposed to describe them? Call some one... or a group of people, who's clearly stated goal was to get Molly and I to leave Columbia Falls and "go back to where you came from" as Beauregard had put it once... a disagreeable person? And I never even did anything to R.A.M. followers. My only problem was with its leader, who made no effort to disguise what he wanted, our arrest, eviction, or execution... and no R.A.M. member argued with Beauregard...
Which brought my mind to calling people like Beauregard and Hireman "Nazis". In the case of Frank Rhoer, I had never called him such, but I did agree with Molly that that was an overreaction. But with Beauregard and Hireman, there was no reason NOT to make the comparison. Calling it cowardly merely excused their actions of hatred and bigotry. Hireman had tried to fire Molly shortly after Mrs. Fitzpatrick had hired her because R.A.M. members that were parents accused her of physically assaulting their students and roaring at them in class. He tried again after Molly donated blood to Megan Jenkins in accordance with the ridiculous laws Beauregard had had put in place. And now he tried again after the former principal went nuts and attacked the school and the station...
Hireman's actions were not that of good man honestly protecting what was right. He was a racist R.A.M. member, and Hireman's name WAS on the list in Beauregard's notebook. What was I supposed to do with people like that? Let them continue on until they get what they want? Had Beauregard truly succeeded in his schemes, it wouldn't have mattered if Patten had come to respect Molly by now... if he had truly succeeded, we would have been killed or arrested or forced to leave. And by the time anyone realized that Beauregard had been wrong, it would be far TOO LATE. I could not excuse excusing the actions that Beauregard and Hireman did... almost for the same reason Patten felt he needed to verbally assault me, because I was certain they were wrong and threats to Molly.
"I'm not overly aggressive am I?" I asked as I continued to ponder at things.
"Against things that are wrong and not matching up the code of honor you've set for yourself," Molly commented, "I don't think he was right in staying that the "fight" with Beauregard was caused over flimsy reasons... as I doubt he knows Beauregard sexually molested me when we first met... I doubt he knows that my parents utterly rejected me... and I know he doesn't know how much you love and want to protect me... but I guess he felt you over reacted to some of the other things that Beauregard and his "buddies" did."
I only sighed, "this isn't letting too much "tiger" out on my part, is it?"
"It could be..." Molly sighed, "You've always focused on protecting me... even when you were still human. And you did a lot of research on tigers when I was first transformed. Males may be rather tolerant of "lesser" males in their territory so long as they don't mess with the dominant... the resident male's females. It could be possible that you saw them as an attack on me and responded in a way akin to a resident male catching a transient male with one of his "girlfriends" as it were."
I only sighed again, "maybe you ought to punch me if it ever seems like I'm being too aggressive..."
"No... George, you are a wonderful and decent male tiger," Molly answered and nuzzled me, "and I am very happy to call you my husband. Dave and Tabby would agree with me. So would their daughter Vanessa... as would Officer Jenkins and Barnes, and their... well, cub now, Megan... and so would Michael York..."
I didn't answer her for a moment.
"It's just that occasionally you have raised this sort of marble statue of what you want for me and what you see as right in the world, and you don't like to see that statue damaged," Molly finished, "speaking metaphorically."
"When someone tries to blow up the "statue" at every turn, one tends to react..." I quipped and sighed, "but then I suppose Mr. Patten sees it as minor "chipping" at the statue...which would mean that I've over reacted."
"Maybe," Molly sighed, "but I'd tend to think that he's missing some rather relevant details or isn't willing to look closely at how men like Beauregard, the Smiths, Hireman, and Williams have behaved... I wouldn't take things too personally... maybe take some lessons from this to help with your temper... but I wouldn't take it personally."
I sighed again as Bandhavgarh Cabin came into view. I did agree with Molly that Mr. Patten was clearly wrong on a good many things and that much of what he said also excused the things that Beauregard had done, and pretty much ignored the fact that Hireman had intended to start the meeting with Molly being fired because her presence in the school was threatening to the students, even if she wasn't the one threatening them.
But there was still a lot that floated in the back of my mind that I couldn't ignore. And they remained there through dinner and when Molly and I went to bed.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
The next morning, the events of Mr. Patten's speech were still in my mind as I got up and got ready for work. It would be another day of patrolling most likely, unless the equipment needed to trace the government car's plates was in and we could check to see who the plates belonged to, which wasn't likely as that wasn't ready when my shift ended the evening/night before. But there was always a chance, as it could be done while Officer Barnes and I ran our morning patrol. But for the moment that wasn't on my mind at the moment.
My mind still dwelt Mr. Patten's remarks. Now, I wasn't out to be friends with everybody. That I knew to be impossible. So long as he left Molly alone, he could go on hating me as much as he liked. He probably wouldn't change his opinion anyway if I just all of a sudden acted differently. And I did still feel that I was justified in defending Molly and that he was missing quite a bit when he decided make his remarks. But so long as he left Molly alone, I had no real problem with him... as no one can please everyone all the time.
But, there probably were some grains of truth in what he said, and my mind focused on that. Did I overreact in some situations, beyond the obvious incident that I knew of with Frank Rhoer? And if so... my mind wondered on what could be done about that for the future. There wasn't anything anyone can do about their past and it was the future that always mattered. And my mind dwelt on this pretty heavily, even as I made my way into the station.
"GEORGE!"
That brought me out of it for a moment. I looked up to see Officer Barnes standing there near the back-door to the station. Officer Jenkins had already gone in ahead of him.
"You okay?" he asked me.
"Fine," I sighed, "fine... just thinking..."
"Thinking, you were off in la-la land," Officer Barnes half chuckled.
"Sorry," I said weakly.
"Something go wrong at that meeting last night?" Officer Barnes wondered, "Hireman fire Molly?"
"He certainly wanted to," I sighed, "but no... not really. Not on his angle, anyway."
"Then what is is it?" Officer Barnes wondered.
"Just something one of the school board members said to me after the meeting," I answered, "I don't agree with a lot of it and I know he's missing quite a few facts on the things I disagree with him on... but there are somethings that he said that has me thinking, as it were."
"Trying out for a popularity contest?" Officer Barnes wondered.
"Certainly not," I answered, and then sighed, "tell me... do you find me to be aggressive?"
"Aggressive?"
I nodded.
"No, not really," Officer Barnes sighed, "firm, maybe. Not aggressive... and to be honest, with the way Beauregard treated you and Molly when you first moved here, I can't say I blame you... shoot, Ebenezer Smith's son shot at you as part of the first R.A.M. scheme to off you and your wife. If I hadn't pushed the barrel away, you would have been shot dead... or at least seriously wounded... and given that he was using an M-16, even being wounded, I wouldn't give you much shot at survival. And it wouldn't have then mattered whether or not you or Beauregard were on the right side of the argument. You would be gone and the argument would be over. But some people I guess have isolated themselves from what goes on around them... they refuse to see what wrongs one side is doing and then jump all over someone when they respond to those wrongs when in a way that doesn't fit their ivory tower."
"Well, he found me to be overly aggressive," I sighed, "and I've been concerned on that... that maybe I've seen too much of a "conspiracy" in the behavior of R.A.M. people... especially since most of them were merely being duped by Beauregard..."
"Maybe, but people here have known Beauregard to be a bit of a wing-nut long before you moved here, and a good many have also known about his efforts to essentially buy out the rest of the ranchers here," Officer Barnes replied, "even if they weren't as fanatical as Beauregard, to follow him and never argue with him is a cardinal sin in my book. They may have been duped, but it is quite clear that they went willingly."
There was a silence for a moment.
"And as I said, you're firm," Officer Barnes sighed, "You know right and wrong and you take a firm stance to defend that. And that makes a good cop to me... or a good start, anyway."