"They are called breast buds," Rei said suddenly out of the blue and looking up from my dinner, unsure of what she was talking about, I commented, "Huh?"
Rei smiled at me and then said, "I see the way your chest is, the way you are slowly withdrawing and the way you sometimes rub them. It's okay. I went through the same thing, about three years ago, when I was about your age. All girls go through it eventually and if you need somebody to talk to, I'm here."
Nodding, thinking about the fact that I was actually a boy dressed in girl's clothes, I thought to myself, "You have no idea what I am going through," and the corrected myself as I thought of how harsh that sounded as I tried to wrap my mind around the fact that my chest did feel and look off and how odd it was that I even had breast buds, whatever those where.
Next to me, Rei was commenting that I would soon need a bra, though it could wait until I had developed a bit more and that instead I could simply get away with wearing a cami underneath my clothes. Nodding at this, I slowly finished my dinner and wanting to simply be polite, I casually asked, "So what is all going to happen. I mean, besides breast buds and obviously what my mother said about my body becoming more sure about being female," lying some more, but unable to come up with a solution as to how I should back out and simply tell the truth.
Adopting a serious look, Rei indicates her body and then said, "Well, your breasts will go through about five stages of change, breast buds being stage two. Sometime within the next year and a half you'll start to grow pubic hair under your arms, on your legs and across your groin region and at some point, it's different with each girl, you'll enter menarche, which is your menstruation cycle," and staring off for a moment, she then added, "There is also the chance of acme or pimples and a possibility of body odour."
Unsure about all of this, not liking any of what was being said, I simply nod as if I understood all of this and as Rei explained about tampons versus pads, I let my attention drift, wondering if maybe I was getting myself in over my head and if what was happening was in some way connected to my lying and my secret habit of dressing in Tanya's clothes.
Slowly standing, I started to collect my trash from my meal and as Rei began to follow suit, I shook my head and said, "I need some time by myself, if that is all right. Just to sort out everything. You know," I indicate my chest and then add, "And the whole 'being drawn into a computer' thing."
A nod from Rei and as she told me, "I'll be either here or at the hotel we looked at earlier," I turned, dumped my trash and exited the restaurant, wondering where all the people in this town where.
-----
For the next three hours, I wandered the seaside town, realising that it must no bigger than a population of two hundred as I walked. As I took my tour of the town I let my mind wander, going over all that had had happened, what was apparently happening and ways that I could undo it. But as I walked, I found myself unable to come to a solution and instead found myself back at the same notion of me not wanting to be a girl and how I was to explain to Rei that the ten year old girl she thought she had made friends with was actually a short, sixteen year old boy who happens to like dressing in his younger sister's clothes and was now growing what she called breast buds.
Returning to the restaurant, I glanced about and when I did not see Rei, I decided to go up to the hotel that we had looked at hours ago after we had left the beach and had poked about in a couple shoppes, looking for clothes to wear, to which Rei choose several outfits for me, including several sets of pyjamas. Going up to the room that Rei and I had picked out, I clicked on the overhead like and glanced at the clothes Rei and I had chosen, piled on one of the two beds. After a couple seconds, I sighed and began to fold put them away in the dresser, leaving out a nightgown and a pair of underwear to wear after I have taken a shower.
As I knocked on the bathroom door and called out to Rei, I absently rub my chest. When I did not get an answer from within, I entered the bathroom, closed the door and began to undress, hanging the nightgown and underwear on the back of the door and checking to make sure there were towels before I started to remove my clothes. Afterward, I climbed in the shower and for a couple minutes, I merely stood there, letting the warm water run over my body, liking the way it felt before I began to wash myself.
When I had finished, I was just climbing out of the shower when the door to the bathroom opened and realising how stupid I had been to forget to lock it, I started for the towels piled on the sink, knowing I would never make it before the person entering came in.
And then I heard Rei saying something and feeling defeated, I merely stood there, my penis and testicles bared to the world. But to my surprise, Rei did not say anything about how I looked, despite that she was staring directly at me and instead, she asked me, "Anything you want to do tomorrow?" and shaking my head, I hesitantly grabbed a towel and began to wrap it around my torso as Rei explained some things she thought we could do together tomorrow, including a possible thorough search of the town, "Maybe come up with answers as to why we are here, why there is nobody else and where we go from here," she said by way of finishing up as I nodded and said I would like to join her.
As Rei turned to leave, I suddenly call out, "Wait," and when she turned around, I asked, "Don't you think I look strange? Like something is off? Like my body looks different somehow?"
Rei shrugged at this and then said, "I felt the same way you did, when I was nine and my body started change. It's nothing to be ashamed of. After all, we both are girls and one thing that each girl should know, is that there is nothing to be ashamed of by seeing another naked body," and turning, she left me, thinking over what she said.
Drying myself off and then dressing in the nightgown and underwear, I went back into the main room, where Rei was lying on one of the two beds, wearing nothing but a cami and a pair of underwear as she read a book. Lying down on the other bed, thinking about and wondering why Rei said she only saw a girl naked and not a boy, I shrug under the sheet, touch the area where my penis and testicles are and confused, I feel myself slowly drift as Rei told me, "Good night, Alex," and then clicked off the lamp that was above her bed.
-----
That night, I had a really weird dream. I was in what appeared to be a storage room with two girls, both looking at a book. When I tried to approach them, they ignored me, as if I was not really there. Disturbed by this, I realised that they were speaking to each other, but that I could not hear what either was saying. Then there came a bright flash of light and I found myself looking at a doorway in the wall and approaching it, I could see the white room on the other side. Taking one final glance back at the two girls, I took a deep breath and stepped through the door and back into the white room.
Instead of appearing in the white room, I found myself in what was clearly a public pool shower and locker room. Before me I saw a sign that read:
TO ALL POOL USERS: PLEASE USE LOCKER ROOMS TO
CHANGE. SUITS ARE PROVIDED AS WELL AS SHOWERING SUPPLIES. DO NOT
ENTER THE POOL BEFORE WASHING OFF. PLEASE USE THE PROVIDED
BOTTLE OF FORMULA X TO KILL ANY MICROBES OR FUNGI THAT MAY BE ON
YOUR PERSON. FOLLOW ON-BOTTLE DIRECTIONS.
Looking about, I notice that I am holding some sort of small bag, which I figure might be some type of gym bag. And then I saw a bench nearby in front of a row of lockers and feeling drawn toward it, I head across the locker room toward it.
As I placed the bag on the bench, I glanced about the locker room again, taking in that it was clearly the girl's locker room and that there was nobody else present. Turning my attention back to the bag, I pull on the drawstring holding it closed and peering inside, I see several items. Taking them out one at a time, I find the bikini I had worn when I had gone swimming with Rei; a bottle of conditioner, a bottle of shampoo and a bottle of skin cleanser and moisturiser; and on the bottom, two sponges in protective cases, which I immediately knew, for some reason, that one was for my face and one was for my body.
Curious, I looked at the objects once more and collecting them, I head for the showers. Placing the bottles on one of the shelves, I then take the loofahs out of their cases and place them as well on the shelves. Returning to the bench, I began to undress and reaching toward one of the lockers, I placed my clothes and the bag inside.
Naked, I began to walk back to the showers, holding in one hand the bikini, thinking about only swimming in the pool. But then I stopped as I caught sight of a huge mirror taking up one wall and approaching it, I thought, "I look different."
Standing in front of the mirror, I ran a hand through my long, light-brown hair, thought it odd that it now fell past my shoulders, but then shook my head as I let my eyes drift down my face and body.
Taking in how round and feminine my face was, but felt confused as to why it should be any other way. Glancing at my chest, I only gave my breast buds a second glance as I ran a hand over my stomach and abdomen, which was just starting to lose the rest of my baby fact and would soon, in the next couple years, start to look more and more like a grown woman's body. But then I stopped what I was doing the moment I saw the area where my penis and testicles was supposed to be and suddenly it all came back in a flash that I was supposed to be a boy.
Horrified suddenly that I had no genitals at all, I whimpered out and then ran a hand over the smooth, flat skin. Realising something, I placed my hand betwixt my legs and then pulled it back as I realised that the area there felt weird.
Looking about, scared, I peered back at the mirror and after a few moments, I laid down on my back, put my feet up to the mirror and spread my legs.
What I saw was beyond words for me to properly describe and as I touched what I could clearly was a pinkish-white slit, I moaned out, "What is happening to me," still running a hand over the area between my legs, discovering that the slit could be parted and that there was clearly more stuff hidden beneath and between.
-----
Gasping, I suddenly open my eyes and sitting up, I glance about the room, noting the sunlight flooding through the bay doors, which I note are open and figure Rei must have open them. Placing my hand down onto my penis and testicles and feeling them still present, I flop back onto the bed, turn onto my side and curl up, thinking to myself, "It was all just a nightmare. No human has such a thing between their legs..." but then stop myself in midthought, suddenly wondering what a girl's genitals look like, knowing they could not possibly have a penis and testicles, otherwise it would show, especially when wearing their swimsuits.
"Good morning," Rei announced as she came out of the bathroom, hair damp and dripping slightly, and moving over to one of the dressers, she asked, "You sleep all right?"
Nodding, I push the sheet away completely and sliding out bed, the dream slowly flitting away, my question about the female genitalia slowly sinking into the back of my mind, I listen as Rei asked, "What shall we do about breakfast?" and unsure, I shrugged headed for the other dresser to begin getting dressed as well.