Craig was your average football-playing jock. Big, strong, good looking, charismatic, skilled, dumb, cocky, and so on. However, he was lacking in certain areas. . . Despite being a handsome and talented guy, his "little buddy" never got any action. However, he still treated it like it was the biggest thing in the world, almost babying it to cover up his embarrassment and make himself feel like a well endowed man. Much like any lacking man, he tried to act cocky and brag about his other attributes to divert attention from his "little problem". He was tired of it, and wanted some real physical contact - to the point of being desperate and gullible.
Craig had seen an advertisement of an ointment store with herbal remedies that were packed with "magic". So of course he rushed down to the store as soon as he seen the advertisement on the computer. Once there, he breezed through the aisles, hoping nobody he knew would be there. He just wanted to rush in, then rush out. He quickly got confused due to half the ointments' tags being written in Chinese, while the other half had somewhat poor translations.
"Hell if I know. . ." Craig muttered, staring at two jars he had picked up, still trying to make heads or tails of what they said. "This is so stupid. I'll just take the next jar I pick up!"
He thought it'd be a safe bet, since he believed he was in the right aisle for what he was looking for. Was he right? Who knows? Craig grabbed for a jar that had English labels, so he could at least have the right directions. He hastily purchased the product and ran to his house, eager to try out the ointment that would supposedly change his life. He scanned the directions and found it to be straight forward, one application and just leave it on overnight for best results, more applications the next day(s) for even more potent effects. The jar read: