When Vinnie got home there was pigeon poop all over his bed, along with a note.
"Young Sorceror, you have the ability. Now get the education you need to use your abilities! Attend Pigg
Pimple Academy! Signed, Merle N. Magus."
"Wha-?" Vinnie started to say, but the moment he read the note it started to glow. The note, and Vinnie
suddenly found themselves in a seedy New York Subway Station. The station was busy with people, but the
station exits were boarded up. The sound of pneumatic power hissed as the old style train car rolled up to
the platform. The sign on the front of the train read, "Number 13, Pigg Pimple".
Unsure, but not knowing what else to do, Vinnie entered the car and sat down on the weathered leather seat,
just as the train lurched into motion plunging into the gas lit tunnel.
"Gas? What about the carbon monoxide?" Vinnie muttered aloud.
"First train ride?" asked the old woman across from him. "Don't worry, magic keeps the air fresh.
Electricity, well, that's dangerous around magic. Magic and static electricity, you know." She nodded.
"Uh-huh."
Ryan was screaming. Why didn't you take me off? Where the fuck are you taking me? I don't want to go to
Hogwarts or wherever! I'm a muggle! I'll be a jockstrap forever!
Angrily, and wanting Ryan to shut up so he could think, Vinnie clenched his fist and hit his crotch. He
clenched his jaw in pain. Bad move. He closed his eyes.
"We're here, Vinnie," whispered the old woman as she got up.
"Huh? Wait, how did you know my name?" Vinnie asked following the woman off the train and on to a bright
wooden platform in the middle of nowhere.
"Welcome to Pigg Pimple, Arkansas," the woman said. "I'm Penelope Poundcake, and I teach at the academy. Let's
get you and your friend enrolled."
"My friend?"
"Ryan Standish of course."
No, no, no, no. It's bad enough that I'm your jockstrap, but now strangers know.
"Come now, Ryan, big boys don't whine," she said talking to Vinnie's crotch.
Huh? thought Ryan.
"Huh?" said Vinnie.
"Oh, boys. You really have no idea how your magic works do you?"
"Our magic? You mean Ryan's got magic too?"
"Oh, come now, you didn't think you can turn anyone into a jockstrap by just thinking about it do you? Please!
No, to become something as intimate as an undergarment, well, Ryan's magic worked with yours to make it
happen. How else do you think he's able to communicate telepathically? Never mind. You'll learn soon enough.
Come along," Penelope said grabbing Vinnie's hand and leading him behind her toward a preposterously
improbable towering brick school house that was about the width of half a normal block but ascended into the
clouds beyond where Vinnie could see.