While I was waiting for Kristy to change, a million thoughts raced through my head. It felt like the Civil War was being waged in my brain. Conflicting thoughts were locked in combat against one another. I wanted to scream. Finally, I decided that it was best not to reveal anything to Kristy. I had already done enough to her, after all. I patiently waited for her to return to what, I figured, was her living room. She wasn’t kidding when she said it wasn’t much to look at. Then again, who was I to talk? I was 20 years old and still living with my mother. Kristy couldn’t have been that much older and was on her own. It seemed like she was getting by, but barely at that.
“OK,” she said, reemerging from the hall, interrupting my thoughts. “Here’s your coat back,” she said. I stood up from the couch to accept it from her hands. “Joe, again I can’t thank you enough for what you did for me,” she said. “Are you sure there’s nothing I can do to reward you?”
This gave me an idea. Out of all the thoughts that were tormenting me, I was still very much certain that I wanted to be a woman. But I didn’t know if I would be attracted to other women or men. I had definitely felt an attraction to Kristy in the street earlier. Yet I had no idea if that was a sexual attraction, or merely a desire to have what she had. Maybe now I could find out.
In my mind, I wished that she would agree to my request. I did not immediately realize what I had said, so I just hoped for the best. “There is maybe one small thing,” I said. “Would you be willing to grant me one kiss?”
A frown replaced the smile that had been on her face. Suddenly she blinked repeatedly, and as she did the frown disappeared as quickly as it appeared. “Of course I will, Joe,” she said. She leaned into me slowly, her lips parting, her eyes closing slightly. I lowered my face to meet hers. Our lips met in unison. A sense of warmth overcame my body. Then I felt her tongue press its way into my mouth. I didn’t expect her to be so open about kissing me, but I was in no position to argue with her. In fact, it enhanced the experience immeasurably. Electricity spread throughout my entire body. I lost control of my senses, so much that I did not notice I had wrapped my arms around her back and pressed her body closer to me. She did nothing to stop my embrace, and as she continued to explore my mouth, I got the feeling that she enjoyed it.
After what seemed like ages, our lips parted ways. Her eyes fluttered open, telling me that she became as lost in the moment as I had. We just stared at each other for a moment. I noticed a small tear develop at the bottom of her right eye. “Stop by some time,” she whispered.
Not knowing what to say, I said, “Sure.” Without saying another word I turned and walked out her front door. I was slightly ashamed of having taken advantage of her, so much so that I found I was unable to even glance back at her. As I closed the door behind me, I swore I heard her begin to weep softly.