You explain about your situation. He nods as he listens to you, then finally smiles and scratches his head a bit. "Well...uh...I don't know if I have anything to do with pregnancy..." he says, sounding a bit glum about it. You might try the health food store down the street though?
So you go to the health food store to pick up some fertility herbs, and at the counter the guy says, "Trying to get your lover pregnant, hmm?" "You could say that," you respond. The guy chuckles, and pulls out a small bottle from underneath the counter. "This'll help you out..." he says. "All's ya gotta do is take some of these before you do your bit, and you'll have you your kiddies in no time," The man smiles, flashing the nondescript bottle at you. You're not entirely sure you want to trust unlabeled medication from strange men with speech impediments, but the man is (or at least you assume he is), after all, a licensed pharmacologist. Surely, he wouldn't give you anything dangerous?
"Well, I...hmm. Any side effects?" You are rather tempted by his offer, though you can't say why; and even if it were just some placebo, that would work wonders for your girlfriend's libido. And it's not that she looks bad pregnant; you did see her with child before you started dating...but you'd had an unspoken agreement up to this point to not actually have any kids (though she did get turned on by the thought; hence the fertility herbs), and you're not sure it's a good idea to mix strange medications with the morning-after pill.
"Well, there's a few, o' course," The man shrugs noncommittally, turning the bottle about, "But tain't nothin' you need worry about. Nothing that's gonna hurt you, anyways." He smiles strangely; did he mean to emphasize the word 'you'? It's a little hard to tell, with the way he talks.
"And," The man smiles, "It'll drive the little missus wild. I'd even let them go fer, oh, say...twenty?"
You arch your brows, feeling defeated. The man must know what he's talking about, or else he wouldn't be behind the counter to begin with.
"Goin' once… goin' twice..." He smiles.
"Alright, alright, I'll take it!" You fish in your wallet for the money, feeling once again a little embarrassment at how easy you caved to his offer. The exchange is completed without incident and the man chuckles and salutes you. You check inside the bottle to make sure you haven't been hoodwinked; sure enough, there are dozens of capsules, each with one white side, the other halves various translucent colors with a pink stripe running through them. At least it's a very professional-looking sham.
"Er, how many do I take then?"
"Oh, one'll do, but take as you like," He grins again. You shake your head. This is all too strange. You begin walking away before this compelling individual talks you into anything else crazy.
You begin the long walk to your girlfriend's house, giving you plenty of time to think. You feel rather stuck with your decision at this point. If you took the pills back, you'd just be even more embarrassed; you don't really feel like taking them either. Still, you spent your money. You look the bottle over in your hand. Quite a few doses in it, whatever those pills are.
You sigh and shake your head. What else could you tell your girlfriend but the truth? Maybe she'll get a good laugh at how stupid you were; you morosely ponder, and keep them just as a humorous conversation piece. What else have you got to lose?
You sigh, finally coming to the small, but very nice, suburban house that your girlfriend lives in. You let yourself in with a spare key, and settle down in an armchair to rest after your long, mid-day walk. You again find yourself staring at the bottle. You turn it upside-down, and read a single word: FERTILITY. You snort, setting it on the end table beside you. What a stupid load, but you bought it. Oh well, you think, eyes drifting closed, better luck next time.
You awaken with a start as your girlfriend pulls into the driveway, shaking some strange dream from your head. She opens the door as you stand, a broad, pleasant smile crossing her face as she steps forward and hugs you. She is extremely attractive, in a maternal sort of way, broad hips and large breasts denoting her own fertility. She glances up at the pill bottle, blinking.
"What's that?"
You blush and have no choice but explain to her the whole silly affair from start to finish. There is a short awkward silence after you finish. She picks the bottle up.
"And you mean to tell me you aren't going to try them?"
You blink in disbelief, and sputter for a moment, "But they could be dangerous!" Your girlfriend merely unscrews the lid, "Oh life's too short anyway" She smirks, "Ooh, pretty colors."
Chagrined, you take the bottle from your girlfriend before she decides to try one herself. They were meant for you, after all. Or, you think so. You begin wishing you'd asked the man behind the counter for directions or a pamphlet of some sort.